How to be fair with saving and bills?

[Seeker]

Hmm maybe I didnt make myself clear when I said "fair"..

I guess what I mean is, I want to make sure he is saving enough, I am saving everything I can.

We are recently engaged (within the last couple weeks) and I am trying to figure out all this money stuff before we get married so it isnt an issue later.

He is really open to anything and is somewhat confused just like me.

We looked into wiring money and him just taking over bills, but there are always fees. Itd just be easier if he could have an account here where he could wire money back and forth easily and free!

The reason I was talking about his bills and my bills are because I want it to be fair as possible, no one person taking on more than the other. Its hard when his pay is sporadic and I never know how much is coming. This is why I was asking advice on what percentages are good rules of thumb.

We did discuss him opening his own 401K (or equivalent for UK) and him transfering a certain amount from each check to it. He hasnt done this and references his flat in England as being his retirement fund (double in value in 5 years and only going up).

I wanted to clarify that he is not being sneaky or trying to keep his money for himself and mine for me.. I just cant figure this all out.
Some good advice given, thank you!

Okay, read further into this thread.

Marriage is a teamwork.... there's always something you will be better at than he is and always something he will be better at than you are. Talking and compromising and coming to a decision jointly about the actions you both will take is the definition of teamwork and that's the reality of marriage. Marriages fail because of a lack of communication firstly; and sometimes that lack of communication is about money.

You shouldn't be alone when trying to figure it out. You're both "confused" and part of the problem (as I view this), is the separateness of the two countries and the two of you as far as the financial aspects.

How are you going to do Income Taxes? You separate and he separate? How is the house here done within marriage on tax forms if you're not filing jointly (after marriage)? You have an added confuson because of the legal implication involved with finances being income in two countries; and expenses that will mostly be here once the two of you are married.

I think you both need to talk with a financial advisor and I am unsure of whether or not they can help either. Tax planner maybe? Hopefully someone else can chip in here.... because I don't know enough to be able to recommend much else.

[MelC]

I didnt even consider the tax situation. Ive always filed head of household being a single parent. Can I still do that? He files and pays UK taxes. So it seems legit to me. I file and pay US taxes as I make US dollars and vice versa for him.

Maybe I am worried about the saving part. I thought about it all some more and talked to fiance some more and I think thats where my worries come from. He does technically have way more in savings when you think of what his flat is worth. But I put every penny I can into a 403B (Sorry I said 401K but I meant 403B), into a 529 for my daughters college savings, and ING. He doesnt have a savings acct. I want him to open one and start putting in big chunks of what he makes into it. He says he cant for some reason or another, not big chunks at least.. some sort of rules with owning his own business and accounting for money..

I also suggested he figure out what he can live on (he and we) from his salary and actually "pay" himself that amount each month, including contributing a percentage to a savings plan. The rest he should leave in his business acct so if there is a time he's not working, he can continue to pay himself his regular salary at all times.

He is open to it but getting him to actually DO this is something else. Im going to sit him down this weekend and go over his expenses with him. Hes a long time bachelor so this is all new to him.

I also feel a little helpless NOT knowing how much money he has and all that jazz. I know to the penny what I have at all times and whats coming out when, etc..

[LuxLiving]

Not that they will cover the international aspects, but I do advise the two of you to read "Smart Couples Finish Rich" by David Bach and "The Wealthy Barber" by David Chilton.

[noppenbd]

Hmm maybe I didnt make myself clear when I said "fair"..

I guess what I mean is, I want to make sure he is saving enough, I am saving everything I can.

We are recently engaged (within the last couple weeks) and I am trying to figure out all this money stuff before we get married so it isnt an issue later.

He is really open to anything and is somewhat confused just like me.

We looked into wiring money and him just taking over bills, but there are always fees. Itd just be easier if he could have an account here where he could wire money back and forth easily and free!

The reason I was talking about his bills and my bills are because I want it to be fair as possible, no one person taking on more than the other. Its hard when his pay is sporadic and I never know how much is coming. This is why I was asking advice on what percentages are good rules of thumb.

We did discuss him opening his own 401K (or equivalent for UK) and him transfering a certain amount from each check to it. He hasnt done this and references his flat in England as being his retirement fund (double in value in 5 years and only going up).

I wanted to clarify that he is not being sneaky or trying to keep his money for himself and mine for me.. I just cant figure this all out.
Some good advice given, thank you!

I have heard that transferring money from UK to US can be done easily and cheaply through Paypal. You set up a Paypal account and transfer money in from a linked UK bank (in pounds sterling). Then you additionally link a US bank account and you can transfer the money back out in dollars. I think there aren't any fees associated with it if you transfer more than $150. I'm not sure if this helps you, but maybe others can use it.

[MelC]

Thanks Nop. We looked into Paypal once and I think we dumped the idea because of the fees. I believe the fees would be on MY end, as the receiving party. Im going to look into it again!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Um, I'm married to a non-US citizen. He'll get citizenship because he hates the idea of if we leave he'll have to reapply. But he's got his green card and that's good enough. Why do you need citizenship? With a visa your fiancee can open a bank account. With a green card too. Just suggestions.

[zetta]

You don't even need a green card to open an account. My husband came here on an H1B visa and could open a bank account, and we have friends from Switzerland who continued to work for a Swiss company and were on an E or F type visa, and they could open accounts. I've even heard of a bank (maybe Bank of America?) that was allowing "undocumented" immigrants from Mexico to open accounts.

How does your fiance suggest you manage your money?

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

I do not understand him not opening a bank account locally. Does he not have the proper Visa to be conducting business here so that he is afraid a bank account will tip off the fact the he is doing business and endanger his Visa? Everyone I know from other countries but living in the US has an account here.

If he is on the mortgage of the house you two just bought, did he not have to provide to the lender thorough documentation of his income? If so, seems to me you should have been able to get a good understanding of his financial picture at that time.

You say, "He work for himself for his UK based company." Do you mean he is the owner of the company? He pays himself? Or is he an employee?" If he is an employee, is his pay going to an account in the UK? How does he meet the need for cash? If he is self-employed and working in the US, are his customers paying in dollars? If so, what does he do with those dollars if he has no bank account?

[KatieNK]

I will clarify for her since she is my sister- He owns his own business and companies contract him out to do work. All his work is UK based, he is not doing business illegally in the US.

[MelC]

With a visa your fiancee can open a bank account. With a green card too. Just suggestions.

Thanks good to know, bank didnt tell me that
Yea all he wants is a green card

[MelC]

I do not understand him not opening a bank account locally. Does he not have the proper Visa to be conducting business here so that he is afraid a bank account will tip off the fact the he is doing business and endanger his Visa? Everyone I know from other countries but living in the US has an account here.

If he is on the mortgage of the house you two just bought, did he not have to provide to the lender thorough documentation of his income? If so, seems to me you should have been able to get a good understanding of his financial picture at that time.

You say, "He work for himself for his UK based company." Do you mean he is the owner of the company? He pays himself? Or is he an employee?" If he is an employee, is his pay going to an account in the UK? How does he meet the need for cash? If he is self-employed and working in the US, are his customers paying in dollars? If so, what does he do with those dollars if he has no bank account?

He owns the company, he is the only employee. Its a UK business and UK companies contract work to him. He's a UK citizen. He is technically only here on vacation, but been doing this for a while now. He comes here via the Visa-waiver program. He stays for 3 months, then flies back to England to renew his passport. He then returns for another 3 months and starts the cycle again. Yes he pays himself. His bank is in the UK, both business and personal. He pays UK taxes. All his pay is electronically debited from his companies into his account. Very handy considering hes abroad. Hes never done anything illegal and leaves just before the 3 month mark in order to prevent overstaying his 3 months hes allowed via the Visa Waiver Program.

Also, he's not on the mortgage for this house. Just me. We got better assistance in buying the house if it were just me, and it wasnt worth the hassle of the paperwork for him to be on the mortgage.

I do know his financial picture, its pretty darn good- thats why I created this post to begin with!

All I know about him opening an acct is what the bank briefly told me when I called the other day. They said he needs to either be a US citizen or be working in the US. I am sure there is a way around it, with a green card probably.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

You typically cannot get a mortgage unless you have a H1B or TN visa. There are some pretty strict limitations as to who can get a mortgage visa status wise.

No, you only need a work authorization to open a bank account. Students on J1 or F1 visas open bank accounts all the time. Obviously the person at the bank has no idea what they are saying.

My husband open a bank account on day one he arrived with a J1. He also got a SS card, driver's license, and bought a car. My BIL when he arrived on an F1 did the same. I helped him.

What is going on is your fiancee isn't really in the US "working", basically you have visiting you on "vacation". I don't know if he's working during that time, but basically he's a vacationer.

That makes getting stuff like a bank account a lot harder because he has no permenant address, etc. How long are you planning on having him commute in?

And if you are together and getting married get ready for a major change in taxes for him. Probably for the worse for both of you. You'll end up with a lot more in bills.

[MelC]

You typically cannot get a mortgage unless you have a H1B or TN visa. There are some pretty strict limitations as to who can get a mortgage visa status wise.

No, you only need a work authorization to open a bank account. Students on J1 or F1 visas open bank accounts all the time. Obviously the person at the bank has no idea what they are saying.

My husband open a bank account on day one he arrived with a J1. He also got a SS card, driver's license, and bought a car. My BIL when he arrived on an F1 did the same. I helped him.

What is going on is your fiancee isn't really in the US "working", basically you have visiting you on "vacation". I don't know if he's working during that time, but basically he's a vacationer.

That makes getting stuff like a bank account a lot harder because he has no permenant address, etc. How long are you planning on having him commute in?

And if you are together and getting married get ready for a major change in taxes for him. Probably for the worse for both of you. You'll end up with a lot more in bills.

Yea, again, he didnt get a mortgage- I did. Hes not a student or working here, so no bank account for now. I said he is vacationing. He'll be doing this until we are married and I sponser him in.

What do you mean get ready for a major change in taxes? We do need to get in touch with a FA about this. I work in US, pay US taxes and always filed HOH for my daughter and I. He works in UK, pays UK taxes. Not sure how the filing status would go. How will we end up in a lot more bills? How do you figure?