Feeling like the Titanic!

[disneysteve]

I have not -even still - been looking at our bills monthly as closely as I should. I will have to do that, normally I go over them about every other month or so if they seem out of whack.

I would encourage you to check each and every bill regularly. Even little errors add up over time. For example, I've called AT&T a couple of times because there were text message charges on our cell bill. None of us use texting. These were unsolicited spam incoming texts. I see no reason I should have to pay for those. They are only $0.15 each, but it is the principle. They shouldn't be charging me to receive "junk mail". My internet service doesn't charge me for junk e-mail messages. Why should my phone service?

[gladtobeamommy]

I do not have a lot of advice except to say I totally understand how you must be feeling. About 3 years ago my husband woke up and was completely unable to move. He had some back problems was going for PT, seeing a orthopedic and on meds but nothing seemed to help. Long story short he spent a year out of work barely able to move and get around ( there were days I would come home from picking up my ds from school and wonder if my husband might have taken his life because he was in such unbelieveable pain. My husband does not complain ever so I knew this was bad. He had his own business with his brother and his brother basically just ignored bills so things got shut off ( not good when you are running a business) We had no income coming in and in our own supid move gave the business money to keep it a float. I cried day and night. I rememeber vividly one time sitting at my computer desk crying and my dd at the time was not even walking crawled up to my motioned for me to pick her up just so she could wipe my tears with her bare hand. I am not someone who easily spills there guts to friends/family or strangers. The reason I am telling you all this is things will get better you just need to make certain adjustmets. I too thought how could I work when day care will eat up most if not all of my salary. I lucked out and got a job that is extremely flexable. I have always been a very good worker. July I will be here two years and have received 4 increases and a promotion. I leave to pick up my kids from school drop them off at my MIL and have 1 and 1/2 days off during the week. Just keep hope and make yourself available so that you can have more good things come in to your life. Sorry so long.

[tcrocker]

I do not have a lot of advice except to say I totally understand how you must be feeling. About 3 years ago my husband woke up and was completely unable to move. He had some back problems was going for PT, seeing a orthopedic and on meds but nothing seemed to help. Long story short he spent a year out of work barely able to move and get around ( there were days I would come home from picking up my ds from school and wonder if my husband might have taken his life because he was in such unbelieveable pain. My husband does not complain ever so I knew this was bad. He had his own business with his brother and his brother basically just ignored bills so things got shut off ( not good when you are running a business) We had no income coming in and in our own supid move gave the business money to keep it a float. I cried day and night. I remember vividly one time sitting at my computer desk crying and my dd at the time was not even walking crawled up to my motioned for me to pick her up just so she could wipe my tears with her bare hand. I am not someone who easily spills there guts to friends/family or strangers. The reason I am telling you all this is things will get better you just need to make certain adjustmets. I too thought how could I work when day care will eat up most if not all of my salary. I lucked out and got a job that is extremely flexable. I have always been a very good worker. July I will be here two years and have received 4 increases and a promotion. I leave to pick up my kids from school drop them off at my MIL and have 1 and 1/2 days off during the week. Just keep hope and make yourself available so that you can have more good things come in to your life. Sorry so long.

Thank you so much. It's a great support to hear from other people who have been in a situation similar to my own. That is my new goal for this upcoming month - check ALL our statements line by line to make sure they are correct. I had an interview today and it went GREAT. The HR person wants me to come back tomorrow to meet with the supervisor of the department I'd be working in. Plus, I had another company call me while I was at this interview to schedule a time to come in and meet with them. So...that's a plus. I'm just praying something comes through soon so that we can try and get back on our feet - whether it be in our home or somewhere else. I just want to be able to sleep at night without tossing and turning and waking up at odd hours to look at bills I've already looked at a million times.

Also, I have a question. I've been reading up on the 'envelope' budget. I believe someone mentioned it in this thread. The one problem I have is my husbands paycheck is DD into our bank ... how would I do this budget? We have a cash w/d limit of $500 so I'd have to take money out over like a 3-4 day time period.

Thanks again everyone, I honestly do appreciate it!!!

Tonya

[disneysteve]

We have a cash w/d limit of $500 so I'd have to take money out over like a 3-4 day time period.

Is that just the ATM limit? Couldn't you actually go inside the bank and take out as much as you want?

[maat55]

Some of the plan is still payed by checks. Your mortgage, utilities etc. I personally while doing the budget never used the envelopes. The important thing is to write down your budget and stick to it. Example: Take cash to the grocery store and only the amount allowed, that will make you very observant of your basket.

I'm debt free and still do this.

[safari]

Is that just the ATM limit? Couldn't you actually go inside the bank and take out as much as you want?

I never understood why people like paying with cash. I withdraw $200 and it lasts a couple months. I only use cash when credit cards are not accepted, to pay for things like parking, etc. I put everything else on a credit card and pay the balance in full every month.

[disneysteve]

I never understood why people like paying with cash. I withdraw $200 and it lasts a couple months. I only use cash when credit cards are not accepted, to pay for things like parking, etc. I put everything else on a credit card and pay the balance in full every month.

I'm exactly the same way. About the only time I spend cash is when I go to the casino, and most times I come back with more than I started with, so I don't really even spend it then.

I see no point in using cash and getting nothing in return when I can use a credit card and get reward points and a nice detailed spending record each month plus a year-end summary of charges.

But I recognize that there are people who feel they can't control their spending with a credit card. They do much better living within their means if they deal with actual physical money. If you can't use a credit card responsibly, I'd certainly agree that you shouldn't be using one, despite all the other advantages it offers.

[tcrocker]

The problem is I have a local bank account with Bank of America. My husband had a bad report from a local bank so he can't get a local 'real' bank account. When his work switched to direct deposit he went through accountnow? Unfortunately he couldn't DD his check into my account because his name is not on it.

I really don't know what happened to me. At one point I was so good with money. Up until I was 23 or so I had saved quite a bit of money. Now I act like I have no sense at all when it comes to managing our money and unfortunately I'm the one responsible for it b/c my dh is worse than I am with cash.

I think with the envelope budget I could do okay....I just need to learn discipline.

[Slug]

One idea about the soda. Don't buy it with groceries. Only allow yourselves to drink it when you are able to go out to eat. That's what I do now. That way, you still have it occasionally, but you don't have it every day. Just a thought anyways.

I'd reverse this because there's so much cost inflation when you eat out. I'd buy a 6-pack per kid and say that's your allotment for the month. Enjoy at your leisure.

[maat55]

I think with the envelope budget I could do okay....I just need to learn discipline.

Discipline, is the most important ingredient to good money managment. Once you get steady with it, it will get easier.

[noppenbd]

My wife and I use cash for all of our non-bill spending. We withdraw a certain amount at the beginning of the week and make it last. We set aside some of it for groceries and gas and the rest for entertainment and miscellaneous purchases. The reason we went to this system is, we used to just use a debit card, but between the two of us using it all the time, it was really hard to stick to any kind of budget or limit; you can very quickly lose track of spending when two people are swiping that card every day. We found that for us, it was a lot easier to save when we did this. I know some people feel the opposite; that if they have cash in their wallet, they spend it immediately. I think it just depends on your personality.

Sure, with a credit card you do get a nice electronic record of your spending, so there are benefits there as well. But you can do this pretty easily with a little notebook, just mark down all your cash purchases with the amount and category (grocery, gas, etc). Try that for a few weeks and see where everything is going!

[scfr]

tcrocker - If you think the envelope system with cash will work for you, then by all means give it a try for awhile and see how it works. The "best" system for developing and sticking with a budget is the one that works for you!

[aida2003]

I never understood why people like paying with cash. I withdraw $200 and it lasts a couple months. I only use cash when credit cards are not accepted, to pay for things like parking, etc. I put everything else on a credit card and pay the balance in full every month.

I think plenty of people are advised to use cash because they have "compulsive shopping disorders" (I think that's the term to describe them ). When they have cash only, they probably can handle their 'wants' better, IMO.

We carry no more than $30 cash each and everything else goes on the AmEx CC. Maybe it's embarrassing for others, but I've noticed on the statements that DH has used CC for even 80 cent purchases at supermarkets. He doesn't care and me neither. No change to carry around and lose

[disneysteve]

Going cash only cuts down greatly on impulse purchases since you can't spend money that you don't have with you. If there is only $30 in you wallet when you go to the store, you can't decide to pick up that new boxed DVD set of your favorite TV show for $75, for example. With a credit card, of course, you could just charge it and worry about it later. So if you are prone to doing stuff like that, cash may be the way to go until you get your spending under control.

[noppenbd]

I think that cash-only is the best for those who have never been on a budget, like the original poster. In my opinion, there is no way to control your spending when you have husband and wife spending on a credit card all month. Then you go over the statement at the end of the month (which OP admits is not her strong suit) and try to cut down for next month? It seems a little backward to me.

There is also the psychological advantage of cash. You feel the pain of spending a lot more with cash. Swiping a credit card for $54 is just so much easier than counting out all those bills. It really does make a difference. Studies have shown that you spent a significant percentage more when using a credit card over paying with cash.

For those that have been on a budget for awhile and have predictable spending patterns I think credit cards are perfectly fine. But for those just getting started, cash is the way to go, IMO.