Feeling like the Titanic!

[disneysteve]

I know it is embarrassing to do this, but when you are checking out, put your necessities on the belt first, and finish with your "wants". Watch the total on the register and if it goes over what you have budgeted, ask the cashier to restock the items you can't afford.

No need to be embarrassed at the register. Bring along a little pocket calculator and keep a tab as you shop. Having that calculator along also helps you figure out the best deals sometimes. Unit pricing is nice, but isn't always helpful. For example, sometimes brand A is unit priced as dollars per pound while brand B is unit priced as dollars per quart. I've seen that multiple times. I think they do it intentionally to throw you off and keep you from comparing.

[aida2003]

I just checked Charter's website. The price on that 3-service bundle is $99.97/month. That might be a promo for new customers, but all you should need to do is call customer service and ask to have your rate lowered or else you will cancel the service. They would much rather give you the advertised rate than lose your business.

ETA: To get that rate, you have to have not subscribed to their internet service in the past 30 days. So if they really hassle you (which they probably won't), just cancel for a month and then sign up as a new customer.

That's a VERY good tip. That's how we do with our Earthlink Dial-up. We signed for 6mo. for $9.95/mo. After that it jumped to almost $20. DH called and asked nicely to lower the charge. They disagreed. So, DH said "well, then please cancel and I'm going to sign up with your competitor". Sure enough, that $20 charge covered 2 months and now we have $9.95 for a year. It seems that companies really try to keep their customers even for such little revenue. When we feel like we'll sign up for DSL with AT&T for $20, but no need for us yet.

$200 for a bundle is just a rip-off. I rather boycott and not have it at all .

[aida2003]

It sounds like you will be shopping more intentionally as well. Look for sale items rather than the brand you "always buy". Lose the brand loyalty. Also pay careful attention to the unit pricing which is displayed on every item in the grocery store. Oftentimes a name brand that is on sale is only slightly cheaper than normal and it would pay to stick with a store brand. Sometimes it is cheaper to buy a smaller box of an on-sale item than the bigger bulk package. I know it is embarrassing to do this, but when you are checking out, put your necessities on the belt first, and finish with your "wants". Watch the total on the register and if it goes over what you have budgeted, ask the cashier to restock the items you can't afford.

FSAs work like this: money is deducted from your paycheck pre-tax. For example, if you ask for $100 to go into the FSA, your gross pay will go down by $100. However, your tax withholdings are a percentage of your gross pay, so they will also go down a bit. The result is that putting $100 in your FSA will only reduce your take home pay by $75-80. So you are saving $20 right there. The $100 gets put into a holding account, either for medical expenses or dependent care. When you pay out for one of these things, you can fill out a reimbursement form, fax it to the FSA company, and they will cut you a check to pay back your costs. It seems complicated but you can save a lot of money on your child care. You can put up to $5000 per year in your dependent care FSA, which will reduce your take home pay by only $4000 or so but pay for $5000 in care, saving you $1000 a year. Since you are planning on childcare expenses of ~$900 a month, you should put the max in once you have stable employment.

I agree with everything Dave said. I just want to add some more.

With FSA's, you have to be careful. The IRS says "if you don't use the money in a FSA, you lose it." As an example, we were quoted last year that we'd need around $2k for our dental care. We allocated that much during the FSA sign-up back in November. Well, after the recent appointment, DH was told that his teeth are much better and that estimate went down to $1,500. Once you sign up for a medical or dependant care FSA you cannot adjust your allocated amount. So, in our case at this point we will lose $500 unless his teeth (or mine after pregnancy) will be worse or we incur other expenses (maybe I should stack up on diaper rash creams ).

How old are your kids? Maybe you could explain the oldest that daddy and mommy need to make some changes.
Yes, they'll be disappointed about soda, but will they notice the taste difference between Pepsi and store brand? I'm not an expert, since we do NOT drink soda. Also, you don't need to cut everything cold turkey, do it gradually and yes, you should learn to switch from brand loyalty to PRICE loyalty, but do not forget quality too.

I hear you about SPRINT, it's not a trustworthy co. based on our old experience with them. I got a feeling that they generated income by cheating their customers.

[Slug]

It's useful meaningful dialogues like these that drew me to this board. Kudos to you all.

tcrocker: Everyone in the family needs to suck it up while the family is recovering. That means the kids too so reduced cable and no soda (have you seen the studies linking obesity and sodas). You can make it, but everyone must sacrifice. Through that sacrifice hopefully all of you will learn valuable lessons such that you're never in this place again.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

If there is any chance you can give up cable or just go to the most basic package, then think about going to SBC-ATT for phone and DSL internet. We get both for $44/month and we live in the same area as you.

(Side note to aida2003: Does anyone need glasses or contacts? That can take up a sizeable chunk of that FSA money.)

[noppenbd]

I would point out that health care FSAs (different from dependent care FSAs, you can have both) are fairly liberal in what can be reimbursed. For instance, doctor/dentist copays, tylenol, sunblock, Dr. Scholls inserts, band-aids, sudafed, visine, tums, are all reimbursable with our plan, if you save your receipts. These items can add up very quickly. You do need to "use it or lose it" each year, so don't put too much in it the first year.

[scfr]

tcrocker - I'm glad to hear your mortgage has been switched to a fixed. At least now it's a "known quantity" and you don't have to worry about it going up. Work your budget around that monthly payment.

Until you get a paying job, you can give yourself the job of making sure that the money your husband is working so hard to earn does not get wasted.

Dave Ramsey book - I haven't read it, but from what I've heard about him and hearing about your situation, I think it would be a very helpful book for you. If you can't find one of his books at the library, go ahead and check out another basic personal finance book. Look for a book that covers tracking expenses, budgeting, cost-cutting, and saving. [Examples would be books by Suze Orman or David Bach, but there are plenty of others too.]

I'd recommend that you start writing down every penny you spend. Then, you can go back and start questioning those expenses.

Keep questioning the cable and phone companies about your charges, and by all means bundle or switch to less expensive plans if available. Cable companies don't necessarily advertise their least expensive plans. Our former cable company would have you belive that "Basic" cable was their lowest available level, but after some questioning I found out that they also offered a package called "Limited" cable that was only $14.95 per month.

By the way, on the soda pop: If you buy inexpensive frozen juice concentrate and mix it up in a pitcher and keep it on hand in the fridge, you might not only save money but it will be healthier too.

tcrocker - I like your attitude ... You are willing to admit some past mistakes and you want to learn! I hope you'll stick around here and share your experiences and keep asking questions.

[anonymous_saver]

Personally, I don't love the Dave Ramsey book. He goes towards doing things that are psychologically better for you, rather than financially better/faster for you.

Look at Suze Orman's book The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke as an alternative. This book will help you pay off things quicker than Dave Ramsey.

Even though I dislike Dave Ramsey, it doesn't mean that it's a horrible option. I just like going for financial benefits over psychological ones.

I would try going to your local library and picking up each book if you'd like. Then you can make your own decision which is better for your family.

[aida2003]

(Side note to aida2003: Does anyone need glasses or contacts? That can take up a sizeable chunk of that FSA money.)

Yes, I know about the glasses. That will be the last option. We have a grace period to use medical FSA until March 2009 (submit receipts by the end of May'09). So, we still have a whole year and if nothing I'll just have suck up and get a new pair of glasses.

[tcrocker]

I just checked Charter's website. The price on that 3-service bundle is $99.97/month. That might be a promo for new customers, but all you should need to do is call customer service and ask to have your rate lowered or else you will cancel the service. They would much rather give you the advertised rate than lose your business.

ETA: To get that rate, you have to have not subscribed to their internet service in the past 30 days. So if they really hassle you (which they probably won't), just cancel for a month and then sign up as a new customer.

Yeah, we were in that $100 package as new customers but it ended this billing cycle. Last year I found out that Charter had been over-billing us for internet modems we did not have, that we had returned. So I complained to the GM and they gave me the special for a whole nother year. The same thing happened with Sprint! I called them questioning our bill and I found out that for TWO YEARS I had been over billed by $80.00. They would not give me a credit but sent me two new phones

I am going to spend a Saturday at the library and look up all of these wonderful books you've mentioned. I have looked online and read various articles on about.com that talk about various budgets and frugal living.

As far as the soda goes ... it's a horrible addiction for me and the kids. I really am just going to have to knuckle down and stop buying it.

The FSA info was very helpful, thank you! I always thought that you lost the money if it wasn't claimed or spent on certain items. It seems like it would be very helpful for us, our little ones are still going through the 'shot' stage when they go to the dr.

It seems doable - keeping the house. I just don't want to end up ten years from now in a pickle because we owe more on the house than it's worth

also -
I just want to say THANK YOU. You guys have been very helpful and not at all condescending like I expected. I am so grateful for your help and advice.

[disneysteve]

Last year I found out that Charter had been over-billing us for internet modems we did not have, that we had returned.

for TWO YEARS I had been over billed by $80.00.

These comments concern me somewhat. You need to be very sure that you review EVERY bill for EVERY service that you have. And you need to do it EVERY month. You also need to review and balance EVERY bank statement and EVERY credit card statement you receive.

Mistakes happen. It is your responsibility to catch them and get them corrected. The fact that Sprint over billed you by $80.00/month for 2 years without you noticing certainly suggests that you weren't paying adequate attention to your finances. (That's nearly $2,000 over billed, by the way) I think you clearly are in a better place now and paying a lot more attention to things so hopefully stuff like that won't ever happen again.

[anonymous_saver]

One idea about the soda. Don't buy it with groceries. Only allow yourselves to drink it when you are able to go out to eat. That's what I do now. That way, you still have it occasionally, but you don't have it every day. Just a thought anyways.

[maat55]

tcrocker

I highly reccomend The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey also, it will give you a plan to live by. Good luck

[tcrocker]

Yes, I certainly was not very conscious about our bills. I assumed that our cell bill was that much because we had bad credit. When I signed up I paid a deposit and thought the bill would run about $150 a month - due to bad credit. However when I became aware of the money we were spending on bills etc and started to look at every bill .... well it didn't add up right.

Yeah, about $2,000 dollars. I was so upset. But it was my fault for not monitoring our statements more closely. I have not -even still - been looking at our bills monthly as closely as I should. I will have to do that, normally I go over them about every other month or so if they seem out of whack. Sprint and Charter are ones though that I have been keeping a close eye on.

Thank you guys again so much for the guidance and offerings of advice. I really appreciate it all.

[Raven6]

You got excellent advice from everyone on here. I just have one little tidbit to add. If your older kids (I'm not sure how old they are but) are really into grocery brands you could trick them by buying the store brand and putting it into name brand boxes. A friend of mine said her mom used to do this with cereal. They wouldn't eat the cereal like Malt-o-meal but had to have name brand, like Captain Crunch. Her mom would buy Malt-o-meal and dump it into the Captain Crunch box and they thought they were eating name brand cereal. They never knew the difference until they were much older and she finally told them that they were eating the generic brand. As far as your soda addiction goes, you really should try to get away from soda. It's really bad for you as it's nothing but sugar. Maybe you could try switching to the frozen concentrates in the freezer section of the store. They have frozen orange juice, lemonade and some others I think. When we were tight on money that's what I would buy to make for the kids to drink. It was cheap and a little healthier than soda. Good luck