A lot of my friends and coworkers just don't "get it." A close friend of mine is actually going to court in January over some unpaid credit card debts. I've tried talking to him about bugeting, but he just won't listen. He thinks that he has it all figured out and that I don't know what I'm talking about.
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Do you know someone who just "doesn't understand" money and spending?
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...oh i just remembered --- i also know someone who always makes the comments "why should i pay them???? they only want your money!!" (said about credit card fees).
Im like DUH. Its because YOU took THEIR money! If you pay late you encounter a fee. If you take more money than they allow you, then you encounter a fee. *sigh*
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You canbut all these people want to do is
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I no longer talk to anyone about their finances. At some point you realize that they are doing exactly what they want to do.
They are only telling you because you are a saver.This may sound far fetched and you can believe it or not but, many of them believe that you will feel sorry for them and hand over some of that money you have been sacrificing so long to save.
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Originally posted by Duchesse View PostI no longer talk to anyone about their finances. At some point you realize that they are doing exactly what they want to do.
Other times, though, I will kind of get the impression that they'd like to improve things but just don't know how to go about it. In those cases, I'll try to make a casual suggestion or try to relate their situation to something I've dealt with myself. If they respond favorably and want more info or ask for help, then I'll certainly give it.
I think you really need to listen to what is being said and how it is being said to see which situation you are dealing with.Steve
* Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
* Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
* There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.
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The list is indeed a long one for those who qualify it. It is basically those people who fail to take charge of their lives. They know they are overspending but they are hooked to it, that is their fix. Their life only ends up being a big debt, a burden literally for everyone.
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My coworker just got divorced. She's $50k in credit card debt and is living with her sister. She told me she's going to buy a house soon and I told her that she'll need a down payment in today's market. She said she would just take another loan from her 401k
Oh yeah, she also went in for an oil change on her 2006 trailblazer and walked out with a newer 2007 chevy SUV instead. Her reason was because she wants to get rid of everything that reminded her of her ex-husband. Understandable to some degree...but WHY get a newer car when you're so far in debt?!?!!
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Originally posted by project15 View PostShe's $50k in credit card debt
She said she would just take another loan from her 401k
walked out with a newer 2007 chevy SUVSteve
* Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
* Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
* There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.
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Originally posted by disneysteve View PostWhy did the lender approve a big car loan for someone with 50K in credit card debt and possibly an outstanding 401k loan?
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Originally posted by vsjhoc View PostThe 401k loan doesn't show up on credit reports, so if she didn't disclose it and they didn't look too closely at her pay stub, the lender wouldn't know about it.Steve
* Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
* Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
* There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.
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My wife's parents seem to be doing the same thing with her and her sister. We have 4 boys (12 and under) and I work VERY hard to get back on track financially. But every time she or her sister get in a jam, they bail them out of whatever it is, and they never learn, so guess who bails them out now???
Well, I don't bail the sister out, but my days of bailing my wife out are over. I seperated the accounts, she got a full time job, and our credit is improving. The last credit cared gotten, was done in secret (by her) and now she's got that one maxed. It's like pulling teeth to get her to help out with $700 a month in bills. We roughly have 4K coming in and about 3.8k going out. HOW DO YOU SAVE??? I resorted to digging a hole in the back yard, placing a sealed tin can in it and sliding a piece of PVC in the top to save some emergency $$$... I love having money when I NEED it, but I can go 6 months without spending any...Maybe too tight, but I work with retirees who I learn A LOT from regarding missed opportunities...
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no offense as I'm sure you love your wife but it sounds like you could benefit from some counseling. this is eventually going to place a big strain on your marriage - i am speaking from experience. my inlaws are the same way and i resent that they bail everyone else out but us - im ok with them not bailing us out because it's not their job but it bites when you are married to someone who just runs to mommy instead of figuring it out themselves. what happens someday when they are gone?
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Originally posted by disneysteve View PostThat's an awfully big flaw in the credit system. Someone could owe tens of thousands to their 401k and it wouldn't affect their ability to go out and borrow money elsewhere. I wonder if there is any move to close that loophole.
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Originally posted by vsjhoc View PostYou'd have to get either employers or 401k plan administrators to start reporting to the credit bureaus. I can't see that happening anytime soon.Steve
* Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
* Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
* There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.
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Originally posted by disneysteve View PostIt just seems that mortgage companies and other lenders wouldn't want to do business without being able to find out what a potential borrower's finances actually look like. I could sit there and say I owe no money when I truly owe tens of thousands. Of course, a mortgage company does look at paystubs, so I guess it would be reflected there, right? But auto lenders don't.
A paystub will generally show a 401k loan. But it will only show the amount of the payment deducted for that pay period, and the total amount deducted for the current year. It doesn't show how much the employee has already paid off, or how much more they owe.
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