Tons of money?

[lillyb]

Huh? Okay, dh makes a decent income, but not huge, around the 68k mark. I'm a SAHM. We don't live lavishly or have grand things. Normal home, nothing fancy, but nice enough. I drive a 6 year old boring Taurus, daughter has an 8 y/o car, dh has a 10 y/o Jeep. We don't wear the latest fashions or have new furniture. Okay, yeah, boring normal.

This past weekend my mother was telling a friend of hers, right in front of me, that I stay at home cause my dh 'makes tons of money'. HUH?! I immediately corrected this by saying that 'no, I just take good care of what he does bring home." Thank you. Ugh!

Why do people just assume that since I don't work that equals dh makes a lot of money? We live on just over half his income and are paying down debt. I shop sales, budget, cook from scratch, you name it! I work hard at keeping expenses down. They act like I'm on the couch watching soaps eating bon bon's. It's really irritating.

Thanks for letting me rant. I'm off to go eat the cyber bon bon's.

[b4freedom]

Re: Tons of money?

Because most Americans live pay check to pay check, they assume that if you’re not AND you get to stay home, your husband must be loaded.

[tgavin71]

Re: Tons of money?

I know exactly how you feel. I get comments such as 'ohh it would be nice to stay at home' or 'your husband must be loaded' or 'how can you let your husband have the stress of being the bread winner' and of course the taxpayers paying for the bludgers who are on welfare.
I reply. Yes it is nice to stay at home. It works for us. Yes my husband is loaded but not because he earns a lot of money. (about $40,000 a year US) but because I am very careful with our finances. We have family and friends who earn double what we do and are always complaining about not having any money. NO, my husband doesn't stress over being the bread winner. I deal with everything else so the only thing he has to concern himself with is to do his job to the best of his ability so that when he comes home his focus is on the family not his job. And finally I wouldn't know about welfare reciepients as we don't get any.

I find most people who make comments such as your mum are just jealous and wish that they had the same opportunity as you do. Hold your head up high.

[lrjohnson]

Re: Tons of money?

Bludger?

[shengmei]

Re: Tons of money?

Why do people just assume that since I don't work that equals dh makes a lot of money? We live on just over half his income and are paying down debt. I shop sales, budget, cook from scratch, you name it! I work hard at keeping expenses down. They act like I'm on the couch watching soaps eating bon bon's. It's really irritating.

Thanks for letting me rant. I'm off to go eat the cyber bon bon's.

I used to have the best friend who would get mad if I didn't pay her dinner. I was okay with that because she was my best friend.

Then I moved in with her and it was a disaster. She never paid for anything.

People (even the people you love) sometimes just like to think they are poorer than everybody else to justify their behavior.

[frugalfarmwife]

Re: Tons of money?

I'm with you, I don't have kids but stay home and run the farm, I bust my butt and budget VERY well, but everyone seems to think we're wealthy! Hubbies brothers and their wives all work, kids in day care, new cars and nice houses but they're hemmoraging money to do it.

We live on a LOT less than they do but shhhh, don't tell them that, they'll never listen and think that we're the wealthy relatives! LOLOLOL

kj

[poundwise]

Re: Tons of money?

Bludger?

Australian term...

http://www.anu.edu.au/andc/ozwords/December%202001/Bludger.html

[poundwise]

Re: Tons of money?

Why do people just assume that since I don't work that equals dh makes a lot of money? We live on just over half his income and are paying down debt. I shop sales, budget, cook from scratch, you name it! I work hard at keeping expenses down. They act like I'm on the couch watching soaps eating bon bon's. It's really irritating.

Thanks for letting me rant. I'm off to go eat the cyber bon bon's.

I agree. It is irritating. I am climbing out of debt. My friends and family think that we go 'overboard' in being frugal and saving money to pay off debt, etc. Yet, isn't it funny, when somone needs something they turn to me. I'm afraid that when I do get out of debt and start building wealth, a primary thing I will have to deal with is family looking for 'help'. I've already determined that I'll be glad to help. But help doesn't mean I'll be ok with throwing money into a hole. People, friends, family, and otherwise, have to take responsibility for themselves. Since most people don't do this, they either put you down for it, make excuses why they don't, or want you to 'help' them since you are 'well off'.

Don't let it get to you. Use the opportunity to explain how you are in the situation you are in. Do it calmly and in a matter-of-fact manner, or the person is likely to say (to another), "Her husband is loaded and she sure is sensitive about it." Just say, "We live within our means" and elaborate on that.

[jstanawa]

Re: Tons of money?

My mil is jealous of the spendable income we have. They are retired and don't have much of an income. Instead of saving for retirement or lowering their debt, they spent and kept adding more debt.

Being in our early 30's my dh and I have paid off his student loans, paid off both vehicles, paid down our credit cards (only have for emergencies now) and eliminated useless spending. Now that I am not working, she makes comments like it must be nice to totally rely on my husbands income and not worry about money, or just wait after a year you guys will be drowning in debt again. NOT US! We now have disipline in our spending habits and watch where every penny goes!

I now just shrug those jealous people off, I know quite a few of them now that our debt and monthly bills are pretty low for a family of 6.

[cschin4]

Re: Tons of money?

Why not just shrug and get a big grin on your face and say "yeah, ain't it great!". That would probably silence them!
I don't discuss my finances with people. It is nobody's business if I am rich or poor. If they think we are loaded, then fine. It they think the other way, then so be it.
You don't need to defend your lifestyle to anyone. I rarely respond and just let such comments go by. I haven't told anyone (other than you all) that we recently paid off our mortgage, paid cash for our new 05 car that we got last summer, etc. I don't want friends or family involved or knowledgeable about my finances because of the assumptions people make as you all have stated above.

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Tons of money?

We make less than half that, and I still occassionally get that comment (I am a SAHM too)

I figure they have no idea, and wouldn't be willing to make the sacrifices we do anyway.

I also noticed that some just can't handle kids all day (and I don't blame them) I talked to one recent SAHM who decided she had to send her kid to preschool, meaning she would have to go to work to afford it, all because she wanted to talk to adults more often...I dunno, I would call up some friends and arrange some playdates..but then I am a loner really, so I guess I just don't get it.

[PauletteGoddard]

Re: Tons of money?

Huh? Okay, dh makes a decent income, but not huge, around the 68k mark. I'm a SAHM. We don't live lavishly or have grand things. Normal home, nothing fancy, but nice enough. I drive a 6 year old boring Taurus, daughter has an 8 y/o car, dh has a 10 y/o Jeep. We don't wear the latest fashions or have new furniture. Okay, yeah, boring normal.

This past weekend my mother was telling a friend of hers, right in front of me, that I stay at home cause my dh 'makes tons of money'. HUH?! I immediately corrected this by saying that 'no, I just take good care of what he does bring home." Thank you. Ugh!

Why do people just assume that since I don't work that equals dh makes a lot of money? We live on just over half his income and are paying down debt. I shop sales, budget, cook from scratch, you name it! I work hard at keeping expenses down. They act like I'm on the couch watching soaps eating bon bon's. It's really irritating.

Thanks for letting me rant. I'm off to go eat the cyber bon bon's.

Living on 35-36K a year with three vehicles is impressive. Did you pay off your mortgage while the both of you were working before you had children? Do you live in Boston? San Francisco? San Diego? Seattle? Did you buy your house prior to 2000? How's the cost of living where you are?

[Ima saver]

Re: Tons of money?

I have not worked in about 15 years. I only made minimum wage and my husband said he would rather work a few extra hours a day so I can stay home. People have always thought we were well to do, even when I was in my early 20's. I started early saving for a house and got a brand new home when I was only 21. We went with one car for years until I got to be a tupperware manager and they furnished the car.
My two best friends say they will come and live with me when they get old. They have nothing saved for their old age.

[boefixepa]

Re: Tons of money?

Ima, you hit a sore point for me, my parents think THAT I AM THEIR RETIREMENT PLAN!!! I can't say that for sure I guess, but I get that feeling alot! Why do those who refuse to take care of themselves then think it is our job to take care of them?! Now I would gladly take care of my parents if needs be, but it's the idea that bothers me. It's almost like they plan on it, and live accordingly. It really bugs me.....

[Ima saver]

Re: Tons of money?

Boe, that would bother me too! My mother took care of herself, thank goodness. But I have a friend who finally talked his mother into letting him handle her money cause she started blowing it after her husband died. She had charged up $14,000 just from Home Shopping channel alone!