Job choices ...

[Olivia1]

Hi

Hopefully this works in this forum.

About a year ago, my wife basically said she couldn't live where we did. Had to get into a bigger more sophisticated city. A lot on our plate at that time that has also influenced things, like having a 2nd child through surrogacy.

I ended up taking a position with the VA, but the hours have been difficult and my section chiefs have been anything but good. The typical things you would expect for a VA position are retirement benefits, job security, great hours, etc. I only ended up getting 1 of those (retirement benefits, FERS). Our section chief has come up ridiculous criteria for us to get permanent status (usual va has after 2 years). Here they've made it 6 years, but also want you to be a professor at there local univ in Cali. Unobtainable.

My prior employer who I've kept in touch with and occasionally worked on the side for have made an offer for me to return.

Option 1. Return to the city my wife wanted to leave. Would essentially go in at double my current salary, part ownership. Reunite with friends I was closer to. Be able to afford life we want.

Option 2. Work with them remotely. Don't get part ownership. Employee only. Pay raise from where I am, but not as much as Option 1 (1/3 less). Less job security going in the future. We would move to where my family is. Doubt I'd be able to find work locally if needed.

At a loss of what to do....

Basically, money and job security versus location/family?

[disneysteve]

Option 1. Return to the city my wife wanted to leave.

Is your wife willing and happy to go back? If not, option 1 isn't really a choice.

[rennigade]

Does your wife work? If not tell her she'll have to get a job unless you want to move...that should solve everything.

[Olivia1]

She says willing.... could argue how much of it is believable ...

She misses how life was simpler there, could afford to do more things there, etc. If she had the choice, she wouldn't go back. But she's also seen what its been like since we left. I was offered the same opportunity when I left my job to work remotely, but at the time felt like it would be a risky proposition. That we may have to pick up and leave eventually, or I travel out of town to find a job. Something I wasn't thrilled with.

So I opted to switch to a new employer, which hasn't worked out. We both doubt if we will be able to find opportunity we are happy with now in location, salary, etc.


Basically, I want the position of option 1 in the place of option 2. At this point, I don't ever believe we will find it.

[phantom]

I suspect there are more options out there than you're currently seeing. Surely, there's a sophisticated city somewhere that your wife would like where you can get a job that you like with good pay. You have skills that are good enough for your old employer to try to woo you back with a part ownership offer or allow you to work remotely. I would think those skill have got to be in demand elsewhere too. How much have you explored your other options?

I'm not sure if option 1 or 2 would be better for you and your wife. But, I would probably only take either one with the caveat that your search for something that's a better fit should continue. Maybe plan on sticking with your old/new employer for at least a year, but keep networking, keep your eyes open for other opportunities, and be willing to move on when you find something that works better.

[rennigade]

See if original job will hire you and you can work 100% remote. Then make sure wife finds a job and contributes. Take your kid to day care so they can get socialized.

[Olivia1]

some background:

1. wife wanted to work (doing PT from home now)
2. family (her family wouldn't make effort to visit us -- always us visiting them in nyc -- no space for us know). the higher salary working back in option 1 allows to afford the airbnb or hotel options in nyc.
3. medical care -- mid sized city, but over burdened system because not a big city ppl like to live in... so many physicians are over worked. no solution.
4. not enough traveling -- couldn't afford to because of fertility stuff, then no time because i was interviewing for a new job ... point of emphasis if ew return if we return.

job - have tried to find other options. market is better, but places that we would like to be have no interest in me. plus, golden hand cuffs come into play with that option as well We've adjusted to our last move somewhat, but its been tough.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

only you can decide after all money isn't everything.