How many checking accounts do you have?

[rennigade]

You won't enjoy the process of getting into your non-joint accounts if something happens to either or both of you.

Thats actually a really good point and I never considered it. Especially if one of us would die...emotions running high and trying to deal with banks or lawyers...whoever you need to contact to get into others account...not good.

[GoodSteward]

Different strokes for different folks. And yes...we abide by the "our" money...not "my" money. We understand and accept that its all ours combined.

I am in no way saying you are wrong for the way you do it. It sounds like it works and that's great for you guys. I do want to call to attention, however, that the whole point of separate accounts (each person has their own account that their check goes into, and they control the ledger to it) is keeping it "my" money. Otherwise you would just do a joint account. You can feel it is joint because you are both aware of what is going on for the most part, however, I would imagine you would not be ok with your spouse spending out of your account without you knowing it was done. If you feel that is overstepping or invading your space then that indicates, no matter how much you try to feel it is "our" money, that it is in fact "my" money. It's the characteristics of separate money. You always maintain the understanding of MY account, and therefore ultimately, my money. You can discuss and agree how each of you contribute to savings, bills, etc, but you don't have to answer for what you do outside of that. In a joint account, everything is transparent and you have to answer for your choices more. You can't have separate accounts and maintain a joint account mentality as long as you each control one account.

I am not saying you are doing anything wrong, but I don't agree you can have separate accounts and honestly feel it is our money entirely.

[disneysteve]

I am not saying you are doing anything wrong, but I don't agree you can have separate accounts and honestly feel it is our money entirely.

Even though I'm a big joint account proponent, I'd have to disagree with you on this.

Whose name is on the account isn't what matters. How that money gets used is what matters. Retirement accounts are the best example of this. Yes, my wife's Roth is in her name only but that doesn't make it "her" money. In fact, every penny of that money came from me funding that account as a spousal IRA. Although she could theoretically withdraw all of the contributions and go on a spending spree, she could just as easily do the same thing from our joint accounts. The name on the account isn't what determines that.

I think it's all about mindset and communication and shared governance. When we look at our asset allocation, we do it on a global basis including all of our accounts whether they are joint or individual in my name or her name. We don't count each one separately. That would be a mess.

I don't spend money without her knowing. She doesn't spend money without me knowing. We make decisions together no matter where the money is coming from or where it's going.

[Nutria]

Even though I'm a big joint account proponent, I'd have to disagree with you on this.

Whose name is on the account isn't what matters. How that money gets used is what matters. Retirement accounts are the best example of this. Yes, my wife's Roth is in her name only but that doesn't make it "her" money. In fact, every penny of that money came from me funding that account as a spousal IRA. Although she could theoretically withdraw all of the contributions and go on a spending spree, she could just as easily do the same thing from our joint accounts. The name on the account isn't what determines that.

...

I don't spend money without her knowing. She doesn't spend money without me knowing. We make decisions together no matter where the money is coming from or where it's going.

It just makes it easier to retain the subconscious "this is my money" mindset.

[QuarterMillionMan]

Sorry but anyone with a pulse can open up a checking acct (yawn). But someone who has a high net worth or a significant amount of assets would be wise to open up a trust account with a designated trustee and successor trustees.

[Nutria]

Sorry but anyone with a pulse can open up a checking acct (yawn). But someone who has a high net worth or a significant amount of assets would be wise to open up a trust account with a designated trustee and successor trustees.

How's that different from a joint account? My wife is joint account holder on these accounts; when I die, she still has access to them.

[QuarterMillionMan]

Good point. I don't have a spouse so I designated a successor trustee should I become incapacitated.

[corn18]

Good point. I don't have a spouse so I designated a successor trustee should I become incapacitated.

That is a great approach. A trust is merely a document that means little until you put assets INTO the trust. The fact that you have your checking account inside the trust is very meaningful in many ways. Not the least of which is avoiding probate. Designating a trust as a beneficiary is also very meaningful.

I haven't put anything into my trust yet. It merely acts as a beneficiary for all of my and my wife's assets in the case of our death. Now that my NW is approaching $1M, I may start putting some assets in the trust. Although that can create a much more complex tax situation because now I have to file a tax return for the trust.

Tom

[QuarterMillionMan]

Good points Tom. I found that creating & developing the trust was the easy part (although it seemed hard and stressful developing it at the time). Moving all of my assets into the trust is actually the hardest part. Transferring a checking account into a trust account is fairly easy. Transferring a title of a house, not so easy. Sorry I don't want to derail this thread so I'll leave it at that.

[greenskeeper]

one account

[disneysteve]

It just makes it easier to retain the subconscious "this is my money" mindset.

I suppose that's true if that mindset exists. In our case, it just doesn't. From the day we got engaged in 1989, we started counting everything as joint. We opened our first joint account before we were married to handle joint expenses related to the wedding and honeymoon and to have a joint place to deposit gifts. We've never looked back from that point. Neither of us can "retain" the mindset you mention because neither of us ever had it to begin with.

[MooseBucks]

5 between my wife and I.

I have an individual and business, my wife has an individual, and we have 2 joint checking accounts (Cap360 and then a Brick and Mortar Bank). We almost gave up her individual one at the local credit union when it just got taken over, then we saw her parents opened her savings account there when she was 6 months old so we ended up leaving it open.

[GoodSteward]

Even though I'm a big joint account proponent, I'd have to disagree with you on this.

Whose name is on the account isn't what matters. How that money gets used is what matters. Retirement accounts are the best example of this. Yes, my wife's Roth is in her name only but that doesn't make it "her" money. In fact, every penny of that money came from me funding that account as a spousal IRA. Although she could theoretically withdraw all of the contributions and go on a spending spree, she could just as easily do the same thing from our joint accounts. The name on the account isn't what determines that.

I think it's all about mindset and communication and shared governance. When we look at our asset allocation, we do it on a global basis including all of our accounts whether they are joint or individual in my name or her name. We don't count each one separately. That would be a mess.

I don't spend money without her knowing. She doesn't spend money without me knowing. We make decisions together no matter where the money is coming from or where it's going.

There is a fundamental reason people keep separate accounts, and it isn't to act like a joint account.

Typically, a joint account has a primary caregiver for that account. You can't run two ledgers. This means one spouse is usually much more involved in the finances than the other. It is rare for both to be highly involved in finances, and have a joint account, but even so one is usually given charge of the ledger and bills. So, the one that takes the brunt of the work for the account(pay bills, keep up with budget, etc) typically is seen as the one in charge of it, while the other has to relinquish their own funds to this person. In a joint account, it is "our" money, but that's easy to be said for the one who is in charge. It isn't so easy to feel that is true if you are the one giving up the check to the main account. In a joint account, it's like someone saying you are no longer able to drive on your own, you have to have someone with you. It strips your independence. I'm not against joint, and in fact, I recommend it; however, these are the characteristics of one. I've had both separate accounts and joint accounts, so I remember the conversations and feelings, as well as discussing with family who also do separate accounts. There are different characteristics between a single, joint account and separate accounts, and there is absolutely a reason why some insist on not doing a joint account. Control.

If you are not like the above, please explain in some detail how you manage the joint account differently than above? I'm curious to hear from someone that isn't the same as everything else I've seen to this point.

[disneysteve]

Typically, a joint account has a primary caregiver for that account. You can't run two ledgers. This means one spouse is usually much more involved in the finances than the other.

This is true. In our case, I'm the one who handles the banking and investments. It isn't because my wife isn't capable. It's because it's something that I happen to enjoy and am good at doing.

If my wife were to open a separate bank account for some reason, I would still be the one managing it. Not because I want to control her but because that account would still be part of our joint finances and, as you point out, you really need one person running the show.

She doesn't handle her retirement accounts on her own even though they are solely in her name. Another bank account wouldn't be any different. We just don't see any need or reason to further complicate our finances with yet another bank account.

[Nutria]

If my wife were to open a separate bank account for some reason, I would still be the one managing it. Not because I want to control her but because that account would still be part of our joint finances and, as you point out, you really need one person running the show.

But don't you all already run separate checking accounts?