The things you want, the things you save up for

[sv2007]

One thing I noticed routinely here is that some people place a high value on actual, physical things that folks buy. I don't care to decide whether, in the grand scheme of things, that's the right attitude for life, but I'd like to point out a few things that has worked out well for me (and took some years for me to figure out).

I post this because on the piano boards, there's a lot of new posters asking for advice on pianos/lessons. Then they'd complain that the lessons cost more than their digital piano after only a few months : ) This is where I mention that would you rather have a beautiful piano that you can't play or a beautiful piano that you can play?

I used to value the things I own more than how well I can use or utilize them. So I'd always have things that I wanted to buy.

Now, for the past many years, I just don't have any desires to buy anything constrained by finances (I am constrained by other reasons, but not because of a lack of money). I think I have realized that there is just not a whole lot of things to buy but an infinitely numerous ways to learn how to use the things you have. Plus, it is a whole lot more rewarding and satisfying too.

It seems relevant for gift-giving season. So, instead of buying physical things, try giving an experience, it might even save you $ -- because lots of experiences are free.

[kork13]

Experiences are my favorite gifts, both to give & receive. Often I give people tickets to theater productions or just simple movie tickets. I've given memberships to dance lessons, climbing gyms, and the NYT crossword, and season tickets to baseball teams. By far preferable to more clutter.

[StormRichards]

One thing I noticed routinely here is that some people place a high value on actual, physical things that folks buy.

This shouldn't come to a big surprise, but I honestly don't think the things you notice here exist in reality.

[disneysteve]

One thing I noticed routinely here is that some people place a high value on actual, physical things that folks buy.

This shouldn't come to a big surprise, but I honestly don't think the things you notice here exist in reality.

sv2007, I think you are 100% right. Most people value things over experiences. As we've gotten older, we've definitely shifted in that regard. We now very much value experiences over things. I'd much rather travel, see a show, go out to a nice dinner, or attend some special event instead of buying some new item to stick on a shelf or end up buried in a closet.

[disneysteve]

Experiences are my favorite gifts, both to give & receive.

We often give gift cards but for either consumables (restaurants) or experiences (movie tickets). That way people aren't stuck buying stuff they don't really want or need just to use the card.

[disneysteve]

This shouldn't come to a big surprise, but I honestly don't think the things you notice here exist in reality.

You don't think the average American values things? Have you stepped into a mall lately? Or looked around people's homes? They are overflowing with things.

We just got back from a cruise (an experience). On the cruise every day, the shops had big sales on tables set up on the Promenade. The tables were swarmed with people anxious to buy watches, necklaces, scarves, handbags, rings, and whatever other junk they were selling. You would think these people had never been to a store before based on the way they went nuts for this stuff. Meanwhile, my wife and I were relaxing at the bar hanging out with friends, enjoying good meals, and taking in the shows and other experiences the ship had to offer.

In port, the same thing happened. People were rushing to the jewelry shops and souvenir stands. We were taking scenic walks, riding the dragon coaster in Haiti, lying in the shade with a couple of tropical drinks, touring a chocolate factory in Mexico, going to high tea in Jamaica, etc. Not to say we didn't buy anything on the trip because we did, but it wasn't the focus of our activities.

[rennigade]

So, instead of buying physical things, try giving an experience, it might even save you $ -- because lots of experiences are free.

Ok...please give us some examples of experiences that are free and that would be good to provide as a gift?

Sure...if you're an electrician you could offer to fix something thats broken in a relatives house for free...if you have computer skills you could write down on a card that you will fix their machine for free. Those arent "gifts" any normal person would give to a friend or family member...thats just something you should do to help your family out. Should we offer to take someone for a hike in the woods?

What experiences are you going to offer to people that is free and wont make you look like an uber cheap skate on the holidays?

[StormRichards]

You don't think the average American values things?

I absolutely think the average American values things. I just don't think the typical SA member does. And when he mentioned "here" in the OP, I took it as he was referring to SA.

Many of his threads have referenced observations about SA members, so that is what I based my assumption on. If he is referring to the United States as "here," then I completely agree with that assessment. I just don't think that is what he meant.

[StormRichards]

Ok...please give us some examples of experiences that are free and that would be good to provide as a gift?

Sure...if you're an electrician you could offer to fix something thats broken in a relatives house for free...if you have computer skills you could write down on a card that you will fix their machine for free. Those arent "gifts" any normal person would give to a friend or family member...thats just something you should do to help your family out. Should we offer to take someone for a hike in the woods?

What experiences are you going to offer to people that is free and wont make you look like an uber cheap skate on the holidays?

His insight on life is a free experience he is sharing with you.

[scfr]

And when he mentioned "here" in the OP, I took it as he was referring to SA.

Which would make sense when people are making comments about needing to buy a bunch of toys (aka physical things) at the holidays, wouldn't it??? It's certainly based on the reality of at least one other thread here on the forums.

[StormRichards]

Which would make sense when people are making comments about needing to buy a bunch of toys (aka physical things) at the holidays, wouldn't it??? It's certainly based on the reality of at least one other thread here on the forums.

I really don't see a lot of talk about spending here. The majority of the posts I see are about saving or making money.

And I certainly don't think buying some toys for a child at Christmas means people don't value experiences. Watching a child open a present is an experience in itself. And when the child is at a young enough age, the cost of the present really isn't a big deal. Could be a dollar store toy and the child is going to be thrilled opening the present.

[corn18]

I have gone through many hobbies and when I get into them, I go all in.

R/C Airplanes
Astronomy
Photography
Computers
R/C Helicopters
Garden tractors
Cars
Now: wrist watches

In each case, I started small and kept expanding my collection of stuff until I grew bored and then sold it all. In the early hobbies, I would lose a lot of money playing with new things. Now I am much more careful and play with used things and have managed to mitigate the downside financial risk.

In each case, I enjoyed doing the hobby but not necessarily the stuff that went with it. I did appreciate the technology of it. Astronomy was amazing. Cars were boring. Garden tractors were fun (I bought used ones, fixed them up and sold them). Watches are interesting, but I am learning they bring very little enjoyment to me.

I asked my kids something the other day: What gifts do you remember that we have given you for Xmas? None of the answers were the expensive stuff. Some were sentimental gifts that cost nearly nothing. Most were just memories of where we were and who we were with. That's what I remember from my childhood.

Will I continue to buy things? Sure. But only insofar as the hobby interests me and mostly used. The joy comes from sitting here on the sofa, typing a post on SA and looking over at my 18 yo daughter home from college sleeping with my schnauzer. Life is very good.

Tom

[disneysteve]

I have noticed more and more recently that I no longer enjoy activities that I used to love doing: yard sales, flea markets, antique stores, etc. We used to plan whole trips around those things. Now, I've really lost interest because I don't want to buy more things.

Even though I have a very extensive collection, I no longer feel an urge to constantly add to it. In fact, I'm slowly starting to thin it out and get rid of items that aren't really meaningful to me. That's a huge change for me and it's still hard to adjust to that change of mindset after being a collector my entire life.

[Singuy]

I have gone through many hobbies and when I get into them, I go all in.

R/C Airplanes
Astronomy
Photography
Computers
R/C Helicopters
Garden tractors
Cars
Now: wrist watches

In each case, I started small and kept expanding my collection of stuff until I grew bored and then sold it all. In the early hobbies, I would lose a lot of money playing with new things. Now I am much more careful and play with used things and have managed to mitigate the downside financial risk.

In each case, I enjoyed doing the hobby but not necessarily the stuff that went with it. I did appreciate the technology of it. Astronomy was amazing. Cars were boring. Garden tractors were fun (I bought used ones, fixed them up and sold them). Watches are interesting, but I am learning they bring very little enjoyment to me.

I asked my kids something the other day: What gifts do you remember that we have given you for Xmas? None of the answers were the expensive stuff. Some were sentimental gifts that cost nearly nothing. Most were just memories of where we were and who we were with. That's what I remember from my childhood.

Will I continue to buy things? Sure. But only insofar as the hobby interests me and mostly used. The joy comes from sitting here on the sofa, typing a post on SA and looking over at my 18 yo daughter home from college sleeping with my schnauzer. Life is very good.

Tom

I got into watches for a few months. I was not willing to spend 5-10k on anything that gets banged around so I was really engaged in the replica watch scene on RWI. At the end, having a nice looking watch does nothing for me so back to movies memorabilia collecting.

[Singuy]

I really don't see a lot of talk about spending here. The majority of the posts I see are about saving or making money.

And I certainly don't think buying some toys for a child at Christmas means people don't value experiences. Watching a child open a present is an experience in itself. And when the child is at a young enough age, the cost of the present really isn't a big deal. Could be a dollar store toy and the child is going to be thrilled opening the present.

I don't think there are a lot of major spenders on the forum except those who are making good money. Texashusker and Tomhole have or had some interesting expenses. Most people on the forum make under 150k/year and are more focused on reaching FI asap.