What is it about money that makes it so emotional?

[GoodSteward]

Money is such an emotional thing to us. And I don't mean emotional spending, but rather emotional when we are questioned about it or discuss it and find differences.

In the case of talking with other people, they get offended if you even imply they should change something. My mother needs to budget bad, and if I ever bring up budgeting when she talks about having it so hard she immediately goes on the defensive. Everything is taken so personal. It seems most of the time people can't simply share without others taking it personal, like an attack.

On this site, people get stirred up so often, and I don't even know why. It's just opinions floating around with people we have never met, and probably never will.

IMO, a lot of the time we are not looking for advice as much as we are looking for people to agree with us. When they don't, we get heated. lol

Why is that?

[phantom]

I see money as a placeholder. I spend it on what's important to me now, and I save it for things that will be important to me in the future. What I do with my money is an expression of my values. If you attack the way I handle my money, you're attacking my values.

I doubt your mother sees it exactly like that. But, starting a budget can be a big lifestyle shift, so suggesting someone start a budget is suggesting someone make a pretty big lifestyle shift.

I think there's also some negative stigma around budgets. Telling someone they should start a budget is like telling a person they're poor or lack self control and sound judgement, just like telling someone they should start a diet is like telling them they're fat or lack self control and good judgement. When people stop to think about it, they may realize that athletes and people who care a great deal about their health also budget and that rich people can also budget. But, it's definitely the sort of thing that can sound like an insult and put a person on the defensive.

[pflyers85]

[QUOTE=GoodSteward;435102] My mother needs to budget bad, and if I ever bring up budgeting when she talks about having it so hard she immediately goes on the defensive. Everything is taken so personal. QUOTE]

Depending how you broach the subject can influence how defensive or receptive someone can be to constructive criticism. Some people regardless of how delicate you approach them will naturally get defensive or blame others for their problems. This is generally why I don't offer unsolicited advice regarding money or finances to anyone including family/friends.

[greenskeeper]

Most people exchange their time and labor for money, so to them money is that time and labor they will never get back.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

People are VULTURES. After DH's uncle died everyone swarmed like vultures to see what they got. People are assholes about money. My in-laws are the worse about it. I am getting more and more cynical. And people are out to take advantage of people for money (in-laws again).

I wish money didn't ruin people.