debt lurking in the shadows

[jared521]

hello, So ive been lurking around for a while. And finally joined the site. me and my wife have been struggling for about 5 years with debt, well that was when we got honest with each other about it. and it was to the tune of 40k, but we were completely maxed out just making the minimum payments. and just getting by. with no money left over. and paying like 600.00 in interest every month. we wanted to be sick. fyi, some time has passed and are doing much better. we now have about 1600.00 left over every month and continue to pay off everything. but about 2 years ago i got to the point of not caring what my friends thought about my status financially. ive found theres more shame in having a problem and not doing somthing about it. than someone knowing about your problem. so i talk openly about it.
so recently two of my wifes friends have confided to her. and it seems were not alone. 1st friend just retired and need auto repairs/new car. but cant afford to do either. and has approached her son about an auto loan co-sign or to pay for the repairs. the other couple said they did a debt consolidation. a few years ago. but he drives a bmw with 22" rims. and his wife has a brand new altima. and are going to look into another consolidation. thank god we made some changes. still a lot of work left to do...

[Attitudeofawinner]

This is a common trend. It's nearly impossible to gauge someones financial position based on the car they drive or the size of the house they live in. Some live their entire life with people around them fooled they are very successful when they not financially responsible at all. My sister is like this. She rented a home on a lake that she could barely afford and posted pictures on social media with her feet up and a sunset telling the world shes "got it made". Reality is she's filed a bk, she's completely flat broke, has mountains of debt, and has been on goverment programs. However she has convinced her social circle she is successful and if you talk to her about it she has actually convinced herself that she is successful! I personally think she needs mental help but theirs millions of people just like her in the world.

[97guns]

we live in a credit based economy and going deeper into debt is the only way to not only live but to merely sustain life. 8 out of 10 americans are in debt and owners of 1 out of 6 cars at the shopping mall are taking some kind of government hand out

[greenskeeper]

we live in a credit based economy and going deeper into debt is the only way to not only live but to merely sustain life. 8 out of 10 americans are in debt and owners of 1 out of 6 cars at the shopping mall are taking some kind of government hand out

it's a choice just like everything else in life. I've never made "good" money yet my only debt at age 36 is my house which will be paid off by the time I hit 40. Everything else I have always purchased outright and "owned" from day one.

cry me a river for the dopes that can't manage money and fall into the cycle of debt.

[frugalNH]

It's quite freeing, realizing you truly think the Jones and all of their trappings can take a flying leap for all you care. Once you learn to let go of competing in such areas, you're free to truly move forward, financially speaking. Congrats on your turnaround!

[DaveInPgh]

jared, congrats on turning things around. Keep up the good work.

[Fishindude77]

Good job getting things turned around !

I think you would be shocked if you knew the true financial picture of many of your friends, family and associates. Many look good from the outside with nice homes, nice automobiles, taking vacations, etc. but it is all borrowed. They are slammed with debt and nearly all of their income is going hefty payments every month. When an emergency like a furnace break down hits, it goes on the credit card burying them further.

Many have very little retirement savings, very little cash available and are in negative net worth situations. When their working years are over and the income ceases, they are going to get slapped hard by reality.

[jared521]

thanks everyone for your input. it stinks having to learn my lesson the hard way. but i never got any lessons or imput on money management. in fact my parents bought a house 1975 for 17000.00 and in 2010 still owed 160000.after many years of cadillacs and hugh parties in the summer. and lavish holidays. and always owning a boat. thats when i started to look at my finances. because i dont want to end up like that. we bought a house in 2009 for 140000.00. although we were approved for much more. its just what we needed. hopefully we will continue to pay everything off. and be debt free in 5-10 years. well 5 years for consumer debt. and another 5 for the house. at that point i will be 54y/o. luckly i have a great pension at work. to the tune of 8200.00 a month. if i work till im 64. my wife has just over a 100 k in her 401k. but no pension. so i feel i can recover from this and still be ok. i also have 10k in my own 401k. but like i said before. still some work to do

[Carol Brown]

7 Simple Ways to Save your Money

Great work

[Jennsnoopy]

Jared I think my hubs and I are similar to you. We got into a lot of debt for various reasons and finally started to make some tough decisions for the betterment of our family. I've posted about this and the keeping up with the jones thing. In reality, I think there are many more people living in a financially difficult place then it seems on the surface. Good luck to you guys.