Is there an optimal time to get married?

[FrugalFish]

Have to agree with the thought process that there is no ideal time. It's a little like planetary alignment, with many moving parts, but perhaps less predictable. When everything lines up, you know it and you go for it. Individuals have different priorities, comfort zones, and standards-- then make that two people and see how things align

I got married at 19 to a 21 y.o. Yes, that is young for many people. We didn't have a wedding, or family support. We had a crummy apartment with shag carpeting and two low-wage, full-time jobs. Now, more than 2 decades later, we have the bond we do because we've weathered some pretty tough storms together. I can't imagine not having had the life that I've had with DH- the shared experiences. For more than half my life, I've gotten to spend time each day with my best friend-- first person I see in the morning, last person I see at night.

When you find the person that will be there through the bad, and you want to do the same for, that's a good start. Then hopefully you get to enjoy a lot more good than bad together.

Maybe this isn't the kind of decision that you should put too much intellectual debate to? The heart wants what the heart wants, and the heart will know it when it's ready

[MonkeyMama]

When you meet the right person and are emotionally mature enough, which is really at any age. I met my spouse at 18. My parents and grandparents met at 18 and married very young, since it was less appropriate in their time to take things slow. We had the luxury to take things slow and finished college before we married. (We've been together 20 years; our kids are tweens).

OF course, the cruel irony of it all is I had absolutely no desire to marry and have a family when I met my husband. Maybe that's an attitude that helps when getting married or engaged so young. It wasn't for the wrong reasons. I just happened to meet "the one" at a very young age. & I was wise enough to recognize it.

Money was never an issue for us - we were both frugal savers who worked from a young age. (I honestly don't know that it would have mattered if we married at 18. Hindsight 20/20, I don't think much would be different).

[disneysteve]

24 is too young

When you meet the right person and are emotionally mature enough

I was going to say that. Maturity is far, far more important than age. Some people are "wise beyond their years". You know the type. The person who you speak to and are shocked to find out they are 10 years younger than you would have thought. Some people really have it all together when they're 18 or 20 while others are still immature and irresponsible at 35.

Marriage is a big deal. It requires a certain skill set. It doesn't matter how old you are as long as you possess that skill set.

[FLA]

Maybe this isn't the kind of decision that you should put too much intellectual debate to? The heart wants what the heart wants, and the heart will know it when it's ready

agreed, but the heart sometimes overrules the brain, double check it is indeed a person you cannot live without

[dawnwes]

Ideally I think it is best to get married after you have finished your training for your career and have worked a year or two. Or, at least one of you has.

I got married at age 29. My husband was 28. We both had finished college and I had one MA by that time.

He did go back to school after we were married. I worked full time to support us (no kids) for him to get an MA. Once he started working full time we had our first child.

However, I don't know how things would have played out if we had met at 18 and fallen in love then. Although I really wasn't looking for a serious relationship at 18.

[FLA]

I also think it's good to not go from college, back home then get married or live together right away. Take a year or two to have your own place, practice your financial skills, know yourself before trying to know all of someone else.

[97guns]

Ideally I think it is best to get married after you have finished your training for your career and have worked a year or two. Or, at least one of you has.

I also think it's good to not go from college, back home then get married or live together right away. Take a year or two to have your own place, practice your financial skills, know yourself before trying to know all of someone else.

are you both saying financial security is an important factor

[FLA]

are you both saying financial security is an important factor

sort of, I'm saying take the time to learn how to manage your finances, figure out if you are a saver or spender before living with/marrying someone who may turn out to be your opposite. I think it's a lot harder to figure this stuff out once you've made the leap. I am not saying you have to have xyz amount in the bank, just know your money "values"

and I just think it is a good experience to have your own place after parents and college, you find out a lot about yourself, especially if you have "quirky" roommates

[dawnwes]

are you both saying financial security is an important factor

I am saying the ability to be financially secure is an important factor. We both had the ability to make money before marriage. I admit I wasn't great at saving when I was in my 20s. I was far too busy spending and partying (not in the alcoholic/reckless way, just in the live it up, travel, go out to eat, spend it having fun way.)