do you have any unmotivated family members?

[97guns]

Generation X and Millenials are being handed the bill after you partied.

that is the biggest problem with these generations, they are the entitled generation. they feel stuck with a bill, they feel they got dupped into a horrendous college bill, they feel their mortgage should be wiped clean and they feel are owed a life.

our country will be in a mess with the mentality of these generations, and god bless their children

my niece is not the only one of her generation in my family that has not done well for themselves but she is immediate family for me thats why the concern with her path. i have cousins that have more money in ink on their body than they do in the bank account.

[Bob B.]

that is the biggest problem with these generations, they are the entitled generation. they feel stuck with a bill, they feel they got dupped into a horrendous college bill, they feel their mortgage should be wiped clean and they feel are owed a life.

our country will be in a mess with the mentality of these generations, and god bless their children

my niece is not the only one of her generation in my family that has not done well for themselves but she is immediate family for me thats why the concern with her path. i have cousins that have more money in ink on their body than they do in the bank account.

Just some quick math from your sig line - you're an X-er.

[97guns]

i might be an x-er but nothing was handed to me, i worked to get to where i am, i dont take on the mentality of the generation. i like to think ive taken the mentality of my parents generation one of working hard, saving money and investing it to make a life.

i have deadbeat friends too, one guy i went to high school with has never had a job.

[Bob B.]

i might be an x-er but nothing was handed to me, i worked to get to where i am, i dont take on the mentality of the generation. i like to think ive taken the mentality of my parents generation one of working hard, saving money and investing it to make a life.

i have deadbeat friends too, one guy i went to high school with has never had a job.

People can make generalities about generations, but we're all still individuals, influenced in a large part by our parents, and the way were raised.

At the same time most of us take on characteristics specific to our generation, because we shared certain experiences in our formative years.

Boomers were young/high school aged when JFK was killed. They experienced Vietnam together.

X-ers came of age in a post Watergate era many of us view authority figures differently than other generations.

Millennial experienced Clinton/Lewinsky and 911 together during their formative years.

My point is that people of a generation shared experiences at a formative age, and many of us have similar attitudes and world views because of it. We usually don't realize it because we've become wired that way. And, we're individuals that are more like our parents (usually) than anyone else.

There are Millenials and X-ers who work really hard (probably most) just like there are Boomers and WW II folks who are lazy.

[Shewillbemine]

I think people who generalize about generations are too quick to judge. And I don't think I've ever heard any person compliment the younger generations after them.

Human nature: seniors look down on working adults who look down on college students who look down on high school students who look down on children.

I have a sister who has never held a steady job and thankfully, she is married to a man who makes enough money to support their family.

But I've also learned that while I'm happy to give solicited advice, only individuals can decide to change themselves. Hence, I have immense personal accountability but am recognized as a "tough love" relative. I won't let anyone in my family or friends drag me down.

[HappySaver]

I agree that generalizing about generations (tongue-twister?) is unproductive at best. I work with many higher ed institutions and I see extraordinarily motivated young people everywhere. I also work with age ranges across the Millenial and Gen-X generations and don't see any kind of difference. Individuals are individuals, most with a good work ethic, some great, some crappy. This is true across nationalities as well, as I also work with students from across the world.

I don't see anything to indicate that the OP's niece has any "generational" issue. She is her own person with her own issues, about which we don't really know the details.

I would also agree that "helicoptor parenting" is more prevalent than it used to be, perhaps since parents are more motivated to protect their >$200,000 investment in education. Speaks directly to the higher ed tuition bubble.

Again, though, I haven't seen anything to indicate that it has anything to do with the OP's niece. Helicopter parenting is increasingly common, but still not the norm. Most college students fend for themselves quite well.

[Snydley]

Helicopter parenting is increasingly common, but still not the norm. Most college students fend for themselves quite well.

Helicopter parenting is RAMPANT. I had a smothering, overprotective mom, and moms today make her seem lenient and mellow by comparison. DS' post summed up the problem well.

Some examples from my town: they are considering removing study halls from the high school kids' schedules because they are spending that time hanging out with their friends and using their phones. Um...doesn't this just mean they will have to do more homework at night? Shouldn't they be allowed to manage their own time? Shouldn't they learn how to do this, as college is not far off for them? Kinda boggles my mind how micromanaged kids are today.

I'm friends with two undergrad college professors, and one told me parents often contact him about their child's grades (he always tells them: your adult child is taking my class and I will only speak with him/her) and the other told me that in his six years of teaching he finds a noted difference in the ability of the students to think on their own, ask pertinent questions, etc...he says he's hearing more and more 'what's going to be on the test' with minimal effort to learn the material for the sake of actually knowing it.

Another thing I'm hearing is that high school/college kids text their parents a lot! Like multiple times a day, telling them what class their in, etc..to me this just doesn't seem healthy. Failure to launch for sure.

I'm a Gen Xer, and it was not uncommon to work menial jobs in high school, now it seems like this doesn't happen much? I worked fast food, babysitting, etc, it's how I made my spending money. It took some serious effort to find a high school babysitter for my DD...girls just not calling me back. Don't kids need money anymore?

[Ethan60]

Lack of Motivation

I have many in my family and I have tried all possible ways to just motivate them for life but all my efforts went in vain. Can anyone here help me suggest a foolproof formula to inspire them for life?

[ua_guy]

I don't think independence is as big of a motivator for Millennials as is finding meaningful work, and I don't think their definition of happiness necessarily follows having money. They value personal choice over conformity to old standards--and I don't find anything wrong with that.

Blame the parents, blame the kids, whatever. I find more value in judging them by their own standards, and as a family--pull the money if you think they're sticking around too long.

[MakeAStash]

It's good to let a child fail every so often so he/she can learn the consequences. Waiting until after the teen years is too late IMO, by then the die is cast for most.