The Saving Advice Forums - A classic personal finance community.

This is ridiculous

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • This is ridiculous

    My daughter is 14. She has been going to school in her dad's state for the last 7 years (long story, but I got really sick for about a year and a half when she was little and had to give her up because I wasn't able to care for her, let alone myself). For the majority of that time she has been spending summers and school breaks with me. I have been, of course, paying child support as well as the majority of the travel expenses, which are about 2500 a year.

    Next year she starts high school and has decided she wants to go to school in my state. Initially her dad did not want her to, but he finally agreed. We have been going back and forth on various line items in the modification for months now, and finally agree on everything, and I have all the paperwork I need from him to complete the modification. I need him to be on the same page because we really can't afford a lawyer to handle this, and if he's not happy with the terms he WILL fight it.

    Well, tonight I start doing the child support calculations, and much to my surprise, even though she will be spending 70% of the year with me I will STILL have to pay him child support. Why? Because last year his income was less than 10% of mine, and we have to use the shared custody support calculation. I am by no means well off. I made just barely over 40K last year, but we live in a pretty high cost of living area in a major city. And as you may or may not remember about me from previous threads, my husband is not well, and our medical expenses are through the roof. I have been working 6 to 7 days a week to make that 40K so we can pay our medical expenses, and still have a roof over our heads and food on the table. We live in a one bedroom apartment. My daughter's "room" is the walk in closet.

    Meanwhile my ex husband goes to school full time majoring in film (good luck finding a job, dude), still has two years left, and works very minimally. He has not worked at all this summer, despite being out of school. His wife is not working at all either. They are on welfare, which I know because I get calls from his caseworker occasionally to verify child support amounts. My daughter told me they also get food from the food bank. And to top it off, his wife is pregnant.

    I have been over and over the calculations and looked at the laws, and there is no way out of me having to pay unless I reduce the amount of time he gets, or try to have a full time income imputed to him (which they probably wouldn't even do in all likelihood). Either of these options will end in a custody battle, which I have neither the time, money, or sanity for. So instead I have to pay him over 1000$ a year while my daughter mostly lives with me, and he sits on his ass not working and popping out more kids he can't afford. There is no. Freaking. Justice.

  • #2
    I'm sorry to hear that hamchan. It does suck.

    Consolation is that you'll have your daughter with you!

    Comment


    • #3
      Is your daughter old enough legally to decide where she wants to live? If, in theory, she made a decision to live with you full time and only visit her father on occasion, then that might be enough to void any legal obligation you have to pay child support. Of course, she would have to want that, you would have to want that, and a lawyer would need to verify that.
      Brian

      Comment


      • #4
        They do take the child's wishes into account, but right now she wants to spend that time with her dad.

        Comment


        • #5
          Well, to update this, when I told him that the calculations were going to still have me paying support he said he didn't think that was fair and asked if there were some way to fix it. Since it's kind of too late for him to just get a job, I was able to fiddle with the visitation dates a little to give me primary custody without taking away any more of his time than was necessary. I scanned and emailed the agreement to him to look over last night, and we'll see what he says. So far the agreement has him paying $108 a month. I can't really get it any lower than that. I give him props for being fair about this.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by hamchan View Post
            Well, to update this, when I told him that the calculations were going to still have me paying support he said he didn't think that was fair and asked if there were some way to fix it. Since it's kind of too late for him to just get a job, I was able to fiddle with the visitation dates a little to give me primary custody without taking away any more of his time than was necessary. I scanned and emailed the agreement to him to look over last night, and we'll see what he says. So far the agreement has him paying $108 a month. I can't really get it any lower than that. I give him props for being fair about this.
            Why don't you adjust the dates so that neither of you are paying cs? That might be more palatable to you both.

            Comment


            • #7
              Thers is no way to do that. Once one parent has less than 30% physical custody you can't use the shared custody support calculations.

              Comment

              Working...
              X