the "tightwad" in the family

[tom edward]

I'm actually not that bad, my family is just normal and aren't used to saving money. I used to take after them and I hated it. After i asked my wife to marry me our pastor had us watch one them Dave Ramsey seminars... I knew it all before that but he sure did put it in perspective for me. We got married on June 1st 2013. I had no savings, the father in law paid for the wedding, and the wife had about 2k after we paid for our honeymoon. We saved about 10k from june 2013 to january 2013 and paid my car loan off which was 9000. From January 2013 to present we have saved another 15k and growing rapidly.
When we started i was making 10/hr now im at 16/hr, the wife has stayed at 9.45/hr salaried at 40 hours a week. Ill be at 18 by summers end and she just got a new job at 13/hr. Its a school job so she will have summers off but were starting a business for the farmers markets to to work up to our future goals. We make something in the ballpark of 45k a year and no debt, cheap living, company vehicles(virtually no gas bill) and room to improve.
My family members like my brother and his wife make twice what we do and cant even imagine having 20k saved up. They do fine but are literally slaves to debt. They have 2 new cars, a 100k morgage(which isnt to bad), used boat on loan, camper just off loan, credit card debt, and finally the school loans his wife has. It wouldnt take very much for them to save if they knew what interest really cost. Most of the other family are either drowning in student debt or dont make all that much and have really bad spending habits.
I'm not trying to gloat or anything like that I just wanted to lay the story out. I actually dont talk to them about my situation they just tell me about theirs, alot. Like money problems run their life and stress them out.
I mean what does everyone think, is it normal for people making good money to stress and basically be broke? I might be the tightwad in the family but not when it comes to others I know.

[ua_guy]

It's not uncommon for those with little income or a lot of income to spend more than they can manage to make. More rare is the person that makes a lot or makes a little, but manages to live on much less than they make, and still be happy.

It sounds like you're on a good track with your own finances. Try not to compare yourselves to the Joneses' and keep on keepin' on.

[Retired To Win]

... My family members like my brother and his wife make twice what we do and can't even imagine having 20k saved up. They do fine but are literally slaves to debt... I actually don't talk to them about my situation they just tell me about theirs, a lot. Like money problems run their life and stress them out... Is it normal for people making good money to stress and basically be broke?...

I think you have just described the typical "American middle class condition." And what you have made clear is that the consequences of "managing" money the way your relatives do are not simply financial consequences. There's a lot of mental misery involved too. Mental misery you have obviously very adeptly sidestepped.

You are doing extremely well. Keep up the good work!

[bjl584]

I mean what does everyone think, is it normal for people making good money to stress and basically be broke? I might be the tightwad in the family but not when it comes to others I know.

There are individuals that routinely come to this forum looking for advice that are making six figure incomes but somehow don't have two nickels to rub together. It's fairly common. It sounds like you are doing a good job at avoiding it too, so keep at it.

[Eagle]

I'm actually not that bad, my family is just normal and aren't used to saving money. I used to take after them and I hated it. After i asked my wife to marry me our pastor had us watch one them Dave Ramsey seminars... I knew it all before that but he sure did put it in perspective for me.

<snip>

I mean what does everyone think, is it normal for people making good money to stress and basically be broke? I might be the tightwad in the family but not when it comes to others I know.

Congrats! You're doing great! Keep up the good work.

One of the things Dave Ramsey says here is: "Normal is broke. So be weird."

I don't agree with Dave Ramsey on everything but he has helped a lot of people get out of debt. Our family included. But you are right a lot of what he says is just about discipline, common sense, and logic. A lot of people lack that these days.

What are your long-term goals? Say 5-10 years down the road where do you see yourself and your family?

[Eagle]

And to answer your question Tom Edward: "is it normal for people making good money to stress and basically be broke?" See this link and quote below. Yes, apparently it is normal according to the data below for people to spend more than they make.

The average US household credit card debt stands at $15,480, the result of a small number of deeply indebted households forcing up the numbers. Based on an analysis of Federal Reserve statistics and other government data, the average household owes $7,221 on their cards; looking only at indebted households, the average outstanding balance rises to $15,480. Here are statistics, trends, studies and methodology behind the average U.S. household debt.


Current as of August 2014

U.S. household consumer debt profile:
◾Average credit card debt: $15,480
◾Average mortgage debt: $156,474
◾Average student loan debt: $33,424

In total, American consumers owe:
◾$11.74 trillion in debt ◾An increase of 5.% from last year

◾$872.2 billion in credit card debt
◾$8.24 trillion in mortgages
◾$1,131.7 billion in student loans ◾An increase of 14.2% from last year