How expensive are girlfriends?

**UnknownXV** · 03-20-2014, 07:41 PM

It's a crazy notion, I know, but ask her what she wants? Also, this is 2014, it's silly to think that the guy should pay for everything. You need to have a talk with her to know what she really wants, and if she's willing to pay sometimes too.

**breathemusic** · 03-21-2014, 06:23 AM

Agreed, different women have different expectations. If you can't afford to and don't want to pay for everything, then you need to date a woman who doesn't expect to always be paid for and is confortable taking turns. I happen to think it's crazy to expect the guy to pay for everything when both people make plans and have jobs (ideally). But to each their own.

Also, depending on where you live and what the weather is like, there are always plenty of good date ideas for things that don't cost any or much money. Go hiking, go for a picnic in a park, go to a free museum, etc. Always going out to dinner or going to a movie gets old anyway. People appreciate variety and having a little thought put into a date idea.

**feh** · 03-21-2014, 06:32 AM

Girlfriends are exactly as expensive as you want them to be. If you don't have the cash for lots of entertainment, then you won't be doing much entertaining.

Nothing wrong with that. Dates don't have to be expensive. Girlfriends that need money spent on them (I'm not suggesting yours is that type) probably are not worth your time anyway.

**Inigo_Montoya** · 03-21-2014, 11:53 AM

Word to the wise - you're 19!!! That you're on this site is a great start. Don't get so financially invested in a girl friend that you just started seeing that you can't figure out your finances later.

First dates are interviews. You need to get on the same page and make sure part of that is the finance talk.

My fiance and I had a long first date. It was a blind date, so we met at Starbucks, then had dinner, before going to mini golf and out for drinks after. Ran me a tad over $100. I didn't then, and don't now, make enough to do that every weekend.

So, when we were having drinks that night, I told her I liked her and wanted to see her again, but that I couldn't afford that kind of bill all the time. We agreed to have it that who ever planned the date paid for the date, and would alternate. The corollary was that if things got to where one of us was going really expensive and the other cheap, then we'd just go dutch.

What ended up happening was us trying to out do the other. It got interesting for a while, then I just took her sky-diving, and that ended the paying for dates and we just started going dutch.

It's very important that you and your girlfriend be on the same page about money. If she's a spender and your not, run. You're not going to change or reform her. You have to find someone you're already compatible with.

That all being said, I wouldn't spend more on dates in a month than you do for your car payment. If you can't afford it, either she's with you for you and understands, or she's not worth keeping around.

**HappySaver** · 03-21-2014, 05:07 PM

When I was 19 and dating it often made me uncomfortable if the guy went overboard spending. I was afraid they might act like I "owed" them, ahem, something. So I was usually happy to keep our outings inexpensive, since I also had very little money, and preferred split things as much as possible. There's a lot of fun you can have for cheap - parks, exercise activities, picnics, museums, movies at home, matinees, etc. Concerts can get more expensive but that depends on which ones. Meals and drinks can go either direction - they don't have to be high-end to be good, and fun.

When I was a little older (20's) I dated a guy more seriously, but we were seriously financially incompatible. As in, he was a big spender, and I was not. He loved to splurge on me, and I think it kind of backfired. As much as we had fun and liked each other, I could never seriously picture a future with him and that was a big part of the reason. We stayed friends and when I got married a few years after that he gave us an over-the-top wedding gift which we both love and still have.

**sniper260** · 03-24-2014, 06:42 AM

I agree with the above.

You, You will have to find someone that you are compatible with. A guy can make 10k a month bring home and find a girl that can blow it all in a week... you have to date around and find that girl that matches your goals in life and what you are able to do... LOVE doesnt have a price tag... dating and showing off has a price tag... There are plenty cute date kind of things to do that dont require money. You need to find someone that can live your life style and build your wealth along with you.. not cost you money..

**ua_guy** · 03-24-2014, 07:06 AM

You're 19. Dating isn't an "expense" per se. You date because you want to, because you're sexually attracted to whomever it is you're dating and you worry about the money part later. It doesn't have to be expensive, since the focus is on spending time in each other's company. You just figure it out and go with the flow. Ideas include watching movies at home, or in your dorm if you go to school, going for a drive or a walk or a hike, facebooking together or laughing at random stuff on the internet, getting coffee or ice cream, if you're into that. What do you normally do with friends? Start there. At 19, you're probably just trying on people for size to figure out the people and qualities you're really after.

Every now and then you might pick up for your date, and do things that fit within your budget. Chances are unless you date waaay up the income chain, you'll both be piss-poor broke to start. There shouldn't be any obligation to impress with money; if there is and it makes you feel uncomfortable, then you've chosen the wrong partner.

If you're 19 and you've never dated, why not? I'm not judging, just curious. Nobody here should be harsh on you; we're here to help.

How expensive are girlfriends?