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Can your husband really work in the condition he's in? Perhaps if he's not going to work you can move.
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Yes, he can still work. He has a desk job answering phone calls. I imagine he will not need to quit for quite some time. Now that the infection in his foot is under control he has quite a lot more energy as well.Comment
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so sorry to read this and the troubles you are going through. that's one heck of an increase, wow. i did actually have a 200$ increase once and i was okay with it for a minute, but i knew i wouldn't be able to swing it so i got out before the stuff hit the fan.Comment
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Well, DH is going to be getting a promotion before the end of October. He has already met all the criteria except for completing a certain number of calls, and his managers told him that once those are completed his promotion will be going through. Not sure how much the pay increase is, I just know that there is one. So that should help.
I am thinking about quitting my second job at the nail salon and picking up a part time job doing massage at a spa. I'd be making about $500 more a month without any increase in hours. I don't love doing table massage, but it's fairly easy on my body compared to nails and chair massage and the money is a lot better. I've grown more and more unhappy with my work environment at the nail salon anyway. Two of my regular clients, an elderly married couple, have been coming there to see me every two weeks since the salon opened, and I have hesitated to leave because they are dear to me, bug they are moving to Tucson some time late in the fall, so that might be a good time to officially end my employment there. I love my clients and my coworkers there, but the business is not being run well, and it's a constant source of frustration while I am there. I don't like feeling so negative when I am there, but having to pretend everything is great and that I love my job. That stuff takes a toll.Comment
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I'm so mad right now. I got home and there was an apartment for rent flyer on the door. Almost the same sq footage as ours, and newly remodeled, for $15 less than what we are currently paying, never mind the increase. Our apartment has not been so much as painted since DH moved in 13 years ago. The remodeled ones have new appliances and a dishwasher. This is complete BS. Of course when DH asked about moving into a remodeled unit a few years ago and he was told no, because of the cats.Comment
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Does your signed lease spell out what extra charges you will have to pay due to the cats? This doesn't sound like the kind of place that doesn't have leases. If you have a lease that says there will be an extra charge for the cats, then you don't really have a right to be upset about it. I know it is upsetting, but easily taken care of by getting rid of the cats but this is something that you two don't choose to do. So you are saying that the cats are more important than money and you either need to try and stop stressing about the extra cost or deal with it.
I realize that I don't sound unsympathetic, but having animals in your life is a choice. They aren't like a child that you have to raise. If you choose to have pets, you either provide for them, including paying over $3000 extra a year in rent, or you get rid of them. I know personally I wouldn't have pets that cost me so much extra, but like I said it is a choice and something you have chosen to do and so you have to decide internally to get on with life and the extra costs of them.
As a landlord ourselves, we also do not allow tenants with pets either nor do we allow smokers. As the landlord of the house we own, it is our responsibility to take good stewardship of the building so that our tenants will continue to want to live there, or it will be nice for the next tenants. Pets can destroy a place and cigarette smoke can cover everything in nicotine stains that all have to be cleaned up. Everyone says that their pet is the best behaved critter on the face of this earth even in light of the critter yapping at my ankles while the owner stands by and doesn't do a thing other than say he won't bite you. My problem is I walk with a cane and the animals see that as an aggressive act towards them. So it comes down to you can tell your landlord till you are blue in the face that your cats are well behaved and don't do any damage, but they aren't going to believe you or make an exception for you as they have been stung too many times to count.
I am truly sorry that you are going through all this as you have many things to cope with, but your rent is in your hands to change if you both wanted to.Comment
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We had a lease (that did not include any extra charges for pets, he paid his pet deposits back when he moved in) but it recently expired and we are now month to month. When they raised the rent they cited that our rent was not at market standard as being the reason. What complete and utter bull crap. He could at least be decent enough to be honest with us.
As I said, they are DH's cats and it is not up to me. I think it would be unconscionable to ask a terminally ill man to give up his pets anyway. He doesn't have kids. He doesn't have any family anymore. If I were to tell him it's me or the animals, I would be looking for a new place to live.Comment
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I'm sorry but that is a sad commentary on your marriage.He doesn't have any family anymore. If I were to tell him it's me or the animals, I would be looking for a new place to live.
It seems that you are dealing with much more than shaky finances. I'm truly sorry for you as I have been in a situation where my husband wouldn't have care if I had been hit by a car and killed but would have agonized if his mom stubbed her toe. That is why he is not my husband any more. Marriage is a joining of two people who are looking out for the best for each other in all circumstances and if cats come before you, he needs to really needs to rethink his priorities but you can't make him do that. Just because he is ill is no excuse.
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I don't think you have any right to judge unless you have been in our shoes. Finding out he is terminal has shaken both of us to our core. It has strained us in ways that neither of us could have anticipated. We cannot handle any more heartbreak right now. We just cannot.Comment
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i dont get how people can say get rid of pets.
have you guys had pets before? they can be part of the family.Comment
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I don't understand either. They are not inanimate objects. They would be totally traumatized if he gave them away. Even for the few days he was in the hospital they were biting me and acting out. I mean, I could save money by not flying my kid here for visitation as well, but no one is suggesting I do that. The landlord doesn't like kids either, and she's the only one who lives in the building. So for all I know she has as much to do with the rent increase as the cats do.Comment
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Yes I have had pets and I know how heartbreaking it can be when you have to get rid of them. My husband and I both have chronic health problems, mine has me on disability, our income is barely $30K (for tax purposes literally zero), so when I hear that someone is willing to pay 10% of that to keep cats I can't even comprehend that. For us to do that would mean we wouldn't heat our house for the winter, or eat or have a car to get us to where we need to go, or buy my non-insured husband his medications or pay for my insurance. Something essential would have to be given up It would be a HUGE financial problem for us.i dont get how people can say get rid of pets.
have you guys had pets before? they can be part of the family.
I am not heartless or cruel. I am however logical when it comes to money and what we can or can't afford. I make my choices and apparently the OP has made hers. She had asked for help and suggestions, at least to my understanding of what she has posted. I tried to help but apparently not what she wanted. I will bow out of this conversation now.Comment
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I am not asking for help, since as I said earlier in the thread DH's promotion will more than cover the increase in rent, and we are capable of absorbing the difference in the first place.
I am angry at my landlord's blatant lies about the reason for the increase, which is completely unwarranted in the first place. The cats are not causing $250 a month worth of damage, and even if they were, the entire apartment will be gutted and remodeled after we leave anyway.Comment
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Maybe you should ask the landlord point-blank: "If we get rid of the cats, how much will you reduce our rent?" Not that you ever would, but if he gives you a figure greater than $0, then you know the root cause; it is up to you and your DH to decide if you are ok with that.Originally posted by hamchan View PostComment
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Maybe but the premium is always put on pet owners. You have a choice you can move or not. But having two cats makes it difficult period to find a place to live. So you have to realize that of course you can charge more to people who rent. It doesn't matter that you think your cats don't cause $250 in damages a month. Probably not.
What matters is supply and demand. Supply says few landlords want to rent to people with pets. So demand is high and rents are higher.
In case you wondered I have two dogs so I get it. Dogs are way harder than cats to rent for, even small ones. I'm just pointing out that he's not lying he's renting based on supply and demand. And supply says pet owners need to pay more. Can't say I blame him. I wouldn't rent to people with pets personally if I were a landlord and I love my dog.Comment
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