Private and Public School

[disneysteve]

As parents ourselves, we'd had countless conversation with our daughter (10 years old) about college.

We did the same. One thing we were very clear about is that she would live away. No living at home and commuting. That was a definite requirement for us. So that alone committed her to a certain cost and ruled out community college.

[tripods68]

As parents ourselves, we'd had countless conversation with our daughter (10 years old) about college. Mainly, we expressed our feelings and the desired goal for what we like her to inspire to be (preferably in medicine). She knows what we want. She obliges with skepticism at first but now are more open since we are paying for her entire college cost, we have the greater chance to influence the outcome completely in our favor. Our last conversation she wants to study human 'brain' what causes 'autism'. That's was music in our ears with huge SMILE from us.

At minimum she will go to college, obtain a marketable degree that can yield greater success in life.

[dawnwes]

I think this horse has been beaten far beyond death at this point.

[disneysteve]

So I don't know why you think there's a difference between 150k worth of student loan debt vs 100k paid for because you saved your asses off plus 50k worth of student loan debt.

And how many people can afford to bank roll their kids to go to these expensive universities?

Fair question.

I think money we chose to save to pay for her education is a lot different than her coming out with a ton of debt that she'll be responsible for repaying. If it helps her start her adult life without being buried in debt, then we will have done our job. At that point, whether she gets a job making 30K, 50K, or 100K won't make a huge difference in her ability to handle the debt. As I said earlier, she has an annuity from a legal settlement that will cover her loan payments for the amounts we're talking about. That wouldn't be true if she came out owing 100K or 150K.

How many people can afford to pay for expensive schools? I have no idea and honestly don't really care as it doesn't affect us. We went with a good school that was within the bounds of what we felt was affordable. Other people make different decisions and have to deal with the consequences.

[Singuy]

My daughter should graduate with under 50K in debt, not 150K. That's a big difference. And no, I would never tell her what to major in. We discuss it and look at pros and cons and future prospects but ultimately it is her decision to make.

That's because you bank roll her. That's money coming out of your pockets and then goes into the school's pocket. So I don't know why you think there's a difference between 150k worth of student loan debt vs 100k paid for because you saved your asses off plus 50k worth of student loan debt.

Would you look at this differently if your daughter had 150k of debt coming out and you gift her 100k on graduation day? Lets say she decided on a state college that cost 50k..and you gift her 100k on graduation..would you consider that "oh my daughter got paid 50k to go to school"? If this was the case, then what's the difference between being 50k in the hole vs positive 50k in the bank? That's still a 100k swing in my book!
And how many people can afford to bank roll their kids to go to these expensive universities?

[disneysteve]

Steve agrees that it doesn't make sense to accumulated 150k worth of student loan to get a job that only yields you 50k/year...except that he also doesn't want to limit his child when it comes to picking majors and cost...so I'm just like ???????

My daughter should graduate with under 50K in debt, not 150K. That's a big difference. And no, I would never tell her what to major in. We discuss it and look at pros and cons and future prospects but ultimately it is her decision to make.

[Singuy]

No but what they want to be a museum curator? Graphic designer? Librarian? Things that don't pay well? Or they want to do something like teach preschool? I would guess many teachers don't have to move or think outside the box. Or social workers or occupational therapists or speech therapist. They can all easily find jobs but it doesn't pay great. But where would we be without them?

I can say that since I've talked and known so many. Most went into college interested and tried to be pretty frugal going. But the pay isn't the greatest. All the ones I meet through early intervention (helping children before age 3) love it and are passionate (speech, social, occupational, developmental specialist). But they all said it paid crap. And they didn't have to move to find jobs.

But I guess your answer would be they shouldn't be working for EI. They need to find higher paying jobs in their field. But the truth is if everyone thought that way then some of these really important jobs who would do them?

No where did I say "its stupid to get a low paying job period". I am saying that a student needs to treat college as an investment. If it cost you nothing or 30k total to become a librarian.. Go for it. It just doesn't make sense to go to Brown university to become a librarian. Remember this thread was about public vs private? Also my other argument is, absolutely be cautious if you go to brown for music theory because there is also a difference between a low paying job and an non existence job.

What I am advocating is for your kid to be successful financially..a big part of this is NOT the pay, but the DEBT.

I feel like you guys understand the concept but doesn't have the heart to act on it. Steve agrees that it doesn't make sense to accumulated 150k worth of student loan to get a job that only yields you 50k/year...except that he also doesn't want to limit his child when it comes to picking majors and cost...so I'm just like ???????

The only way I see that can prevent someone from accumulating 150k worth of student loan debt and can actually get a job that pays similarly is to control the input or output. Either you go to a cheap cheap school or you pick an amazing major (or even better to do BOTH!)....or you guys can just depend on blind luck...such as "well I know John Williams who studied music theory and look at him..he's a millionaire composer......so 150k will DEFINITELY pay itself back!'"

Here is a better idea from an investment standpoint.

How about you put what you would of spent on private school from pre-k till post college into a mutual fund account...have your child go to public school all the way to public university. Have the child study whatever he/she wants..and if there are no jobs out there then who cares...at least this child has a net egg of 1.5 million-2 million...they can live off interest and enjoy life, start their own business, turn any hobby of theirs into a job, or be a professional student! You can't get anymore freedom than this!

[disneysteve]

Marry a doctor!!!

Good luck with that.

[Nutria]

No but what they want to be a museum curator? Graphic designer? Librarian? Things that don't pay well?

Marry a doctor!!!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

No but what they want to be a museum curator? Graphic designer? Librarian? Things that don't pay well? Or they want to do something like teach preschool? I would guess many teachers don't have to move or think outside the box. Or social workers or occupational therapists or speech therapist. They can all easily find jobs but it doesn't pay great. But where would we be without them?

I can say that since I've talked and known so many. Most went into college interested and tried to be pretty frugal going. But the pay isn't the greatest. All the ones I meet through early intervention (helping children before age 3) love it and are passionate (speech, social, occupational, developmental specialist). But they all said it paid crap. And they didn't have to move to find jobs.

But I guess your answer would be they shouldn't be working for EI. They need to find higher paying jobs in their field. But the truth is if everyone thought that way then some of these really important jobs who would do them?

[Singuy]

No Singuy it's saying that failing at guiding if your daughter has psychology degee. You can't get around it. You basically are arguing over and over that as successful parents who are financially minded we're losers if we allow our kids to go to school and not do a STEM degree. Bigger losers if we pay for private school.

I'm not sure where I stand on private versus public, I think it depends on the child still. Depends on scholarships and major and school.

But I still completely disagree that I'm a failure for encouraging my kids to pick what they want to do and to do it in a fiscally responsible way.

If I had to guess most people on here will have kids who finish in 4 years. I am not sure everyone will have a stem degree.

Would you support your DK if she picked communications degree and wanted to be a newscaster? Would you support her if she wanted to go into journalism? I have lots of friends who did.

And you said minor in history and major in education. Would you be very supportive still of your kid being a teacher? And pay for the masters?

I clearly said that I support those actions IF the child has an action plan and decides to follow it. STEM is just easier on the child when it comes to job prospective. The child doesn't have to jump through a lot of hoops, think outside the box, and relocate for the job because most of the time the job just comes to you.

I am not saying you are a loser for raising a child who didn't pick STEM. As long as you did your duty, then it's up to the child. If you provide the child with plenty of reasons why music theory is a bad idea..and if the child picks it anyways WITH an action plan..then yeah there's no reason not to support that.

I just need to make sure I am supporting and paying for my child's future and not for my child's hobby.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

No Singuy it's saying that failing at guiding if your daughter has psychology degee. You can't get around it. You basically are arguing over and over that as successful parents who are financially minded we're losers if we allow our kids to go to school and not do a STEM degree. Bigger losers if we pay for private school.

I'm not sure where I stand on private versus public, I think it depends on the child still. Depends on scholarships and major and school.

But I still completely disagree that I'm a failure for encouraging my kids to pick what they want to do and to do it in a fiscally responsible way.

If I had to guess most people on here will have kids who finish in 4 years. I am not sure everyone will have a stem degree.

Would you support your DK if she picked communications degree and wanted to be a newscaster? Would you support her if she wanted to go into journalism? I have lots of friends who did.

And you said minor in history and major in education. Would you be very supportive still of your kid being a teacher? And pay for the masters?

[disneysteve]

Hardly. I acknowledged that people with Asperger's make lousy managers.

Okay folks. Moderator Steve here. Let's stop generalizing and stereotyping about entire groups of people. It's inappropriate and, most likely, offensive to those who deal with those issues personally or through friends and family.

Stay on topic, whatever that is at this point.

[Nutria]

You made Asperger's into something negative and it is rude.

Hardly. I acknowledged that people with Asperger's make lousy managers. Nothing else.

We will never agree because you can't have a decent conversation without bringing insults into it.

That's a pretty absolutist statement. Care to rethink it?

[moneybags]

You know what's hilarious? Go ask students on campus about their degree. A lot will even tell you what they are studying is useless. Honestly, a lot of them are just there for the college experience and to get hit hitched

What schools are you hanging out at? Neither of my college-age kids would say that what they are studying is useless, nor would their friends. And as far as being there to get hitched, that idea is a bit antiquated. The average age of marriage continues to rise.