Seriously tough decision...

[Vpxggmr17]

Some of you may have seen my background info on other posts of this page, but I am now present with a concept with which I am torn. Those of you with greater life experience and outside perspective may be able to offer up some advice.

My current situation is I'm 24 years old, working two jobs as a defense contractor and a server in a restaurant. I'm in a almost 2 year relationship and have after a 2012 of hard work, made huge strides on my budgeting/finances.

I currently owe $30,000 on my car and $11,000 on student loans. I have no credit card debt or other debt.

I keep my budget (excluding student loan payments) at or below $2200 a month and I bring in $5000 a month.

Here is the set up of my dilemma. I currently earn $46,000 at my day job and roughly $30,000 from the restaurant. Those are pre-tax numbers obviously.

I have learned that there are internal positions with my company to deploy for 10 months overseas for an income of roughly $120,000 tax free! By the time I'm assuming this deployment would start, I can and will have my student loans paid off.

I'm torn on the ability to go overseas for 10-11 months, gain immense experience for my age that could greatly propel my career forward and also bring in enough money to pay my bills and put away almost $100,000 by the time I got back. What I'm struggling with is my relationship. There is no doubt in my mind that it would survive the time and distance, but it is the fact of it existing at all.

So my question to you all is what makes the most sense? The simple answer says apply for the job and utilize the connection I have here to potentially land the job but sacrifice almost a year away from everything but at the same time get my financial picture into amazing shape and promote my long term career.

Thanks in advance!

[cypher1]

If I was in that situation, I'd say take the opportunity and gain the experience which will only further your career down the road. How many opportunities will you get with those options? Now thats just me. Ultimately only you can make that decision. Furthermore I have no idea of your relationship with significant other and how serious it is. Otherwise you're young and have plenty of time to settle down later in life. Again, thats just my 2 cents.

[MonkeyMama]

Ultimately only you can make that decision.

I personally met an extremely compatible mate when I was only 18. Many well-meaning people told us over the years how stupid we were to settle down and such. BEST decision either of us have ever made - glad we never listened to anyone else.

Just as an opposite perspective from the "you are young and relationships can come later." How valuable is this relationship to you and how does your significant other feel about all this? I don't think this is the kind of thing anyone else can decide for you.

If it were me to be presented with this opportunity, my spouse would have HATED it and I would not have gone. He is more important to me than any amount of money. If it were him I would have supported him to go, because I don't need to be with the person I love 24/7. My spouse worked in another city for a year. IT was REALLY hard on him - I didn't mind it so much. But I have certainly given up opportunities knowing it would be too hard on him. This is what I signed up for with this relationship. Absolutely no regrets. But certainly other people can manage long distance better, or can suck it up for 10 months. Being apart for 10 months for that kind of money, for such a short term situation, we might have given it a try. The worst with working in separate cities for about the same time frame was we learned we would *never* do that again. But, sometimes you don't know until you try.

[Vpxggmr17]

I do have backing, from everyone involved, including my parents. And I guess that is what Skype was invented for.

Yes money cannot replace time/relationships, but if we are both on the same page I think it makes things a little bit more manageable.

I think safety is more a concern than distance at this point. But ultimately I think that the career potential growth and income boost/savings boost would pay dividends down the road...

[cypher1]

If it were me to be presented with this opportunity, my spouse would have HATED it and I would not have gone. He is more important to me than any amount of money.

To anyone reading my responses, take anything I say with a grain of salt. While I'm still a bachelor who's always put my work/career as a higher priority than a relationship,I agree with MonkeyMama's response. If this person is the "one" than maybe this decision isn't too difficult to choose then. Keep in mind, this is opportunity is only 10 months, or just under a year. Personally I don't think it's that much time away as others may think. Also, it could serve as a test to further strengthen their relationship while being away if they are really meant for each other. Granted I'm probably the last one on this forum who should be talking about relationships or dating

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Do you have good reason to think this would be good for your career beyond just the ten months? Of the thousands and thousands who have done that before you, how many really advanced their careers? I'm sceptical.

You are doing fine as is. Keep it up.

[Like2Plan]

So my question to you all is what makes the most sense? The simple answer says apply for the job and utilize the connection I have here to potentially land the job but sacrifice almost a year away from everything but at the same time get my financial picture into amazing shape and promote my long term career.

Thanks in advance!

Well, what does your significant other want you to do? What do you want to do?

Do you see these deployments as a way of life in the future? There are folks in the military who have to look forward to deployments their whole career. It does take a special kind of spouse/family to deal with these kind of separations.

On the other side of things, I think if you are going to do this--now is a better time than in the future when you have kids. Making sacrifices now in order to assure financial security in the future makes a lot of sense--especially if this is something you want to do.

[Vpxggmr17]

Well, what does your significant other want you to do? What do you want to do?

Do you see these deployments as a way of life in the future? There are folks in the military who have to look forward to deployments their whole career. It does take a special kind of spouse/family to deal with these kind of separations.

After discussing it, I have full support. I, honestly would like to go get field experience. I am not military, nor do I plan on a life of these types of deployments, this would be a one time thing.

That said, my long term goal is to get involved with a acronym agencies or State Dept. where my experience in set position would be much more in line with bridging the gap for entry into those employment opportunities.

This is in fact the time to be able to pursue this as my commitments are at a minimum outside of my relationship. The reassurance I have is that this relationship started as a distance relationship for the first 6 months of it's existence. Obviously we are at a much different stage after two years and after living together. I'm leaning much more towards jumping at this opportunity if it arises, not only for what it would do for my own career, but what it could do for our finances moving forward. It would take me 3-4 years to save up that kind of cash working what I'm currently working (75 hours a week, 7 days a week). I can't sustain my current schedule for years on end. It just seems that an opportunity like this would help pave the way to a increased growth potential upon return and also, as one high ranking State official told me, provide street credibility within the community where as the US draws down, may not be possible.

[scfr]

The questions I'd be asking myself are: How great is the risk of death or permanent disability, and is it worth taking that risk to earn the extra money? And in the case of permanent disability, what assistance would be available to me from my employer or the government?

P.S. - Since you seem willing to accept input from "elders" like me, I have to ask ... Why does a 24-year-old need a $30K car? I'm more than twice your age and I don't own a car that expensive.

[Vpxggmr17]

P.S. - Since you seem willing to accept input from "elders" like me, I have to ask ... Why does a 24-year-old need a $30K car? I'm more than twice your age and I don't own a car that expensive.

7 years of horrible decision making. Meaning purchasing way too many vehicles and constantly trading them in. By the time I caught myself I was way too upside down. Didn't really want to have huge negative equity in a dumpy car, so I got one I was able to negotiate down the price more than my huge negative equity. Still not the best situation, but I can afford it (though I'd prefer to be putting more money away though I already do about $2500/mo).

[siggy_freud]

No opportunity to take her with you? Will you be living on a base, or in private quarters? On a base you might need to be married, but if it's private, why not make an adventure out of it? I faced this possible decision about a year ago during some state department interviews . . . but my GF was gung ho to travel/move so it wasn't a huge issue.

[JoeP]

You are at an age where choices like this do not have as much baggage. If you have the blessing of your GF, and you are ok with the inherent risk, then I'd say go for it.

You have already indicated regret over the car loans, so my unsolicited advice is this: When you return, use your salary to pay off all your debts. Also, take a moment to reflect on past decisions like this, and resolve to never let it occur again. When you resume your stateside job, you'll be making less money again, so you'll want to be in a position where you won't have to service debt.

[Vpxggmr17]

You are at an age where choices like this do not have as much baggage. If you have the blessing of your GF, and you are ok with the inherent risk, then I'd say go for it.

You have already indicated regret over the car loans, so my unsolicited advice is this: When you return, use your salary to pay off all your debts. Also, take a moment to reflect on past decisions like this, and resolve to never let it occur again. When you resume your stateside job, you'll be making less money again, so you'll want to be in a position where you won't have to service debt.

To answer the previous poster as well, this would be on base, so he wouldn't be able to come with.

In regards to the other part quoted, the goal is (and again this is all hypothetical because I've just started the process of getting my foot in the door for set overseas position) to only have my car debt when I would be leaving. Pay my normal bills while away and drop the rest into savings for the period of time. Upon return, pay off the car, seek employment stateside obviously at a reduced rate (but higher than I'm earning from my day job now) and utilize the rest as a combo emergency fund and large home down payment for when the time comes.

I think the least of my overall concern is how I would adequately allocate the income. I spent all of 2012 cutting my negative net worth by more than half and will have a net neutral net worth by September (at my current employment standards).

[JoeP]

To answer the previous poster as well, this would be on base, so he wouldn't be able to come with.

In regards to the other part quoted, the goal is (and again this is all hypothetical because I've just started the process of getting my foot in the door for set overseas position) to only have my car debt when I would be leaving. Pay my normal bills while away and drop the rest into savings for the period of time. Upon return, pay off the car, seek employment stateside obviously at a reduced rate (but higher than I'm earning from my day job now) and utilize the rest as a combo emergency fund and large home down payment for when the time comes.

I think the least of my overall concern is how I would adequately allocate the income. I spent all of 2012 cutting my negative net worth by more than half and will have a net neutral net worth by September (at my current employment standards).

My bad, I as well as someone else assumed you were male. In any case, can you set up automatic deposits to pay toward your car, or at least make manual payments online to pay it off while overseas?

[YLTL_Dan]

When I was your age, I had some opportunities to move overseas for work and was in a committed relationship. At the time, I valued the relationship more than I valued the opportunity. Luckily, it was a wise decision that I don't regret now (five years later)! Now, we've paid off our debt, saved money, and we're going to go travel the world together for nine months. I'm so happy with the decision I made.