How do keep focused?

[007cupcake]

Just a newbie here. I have been lurking though! How do you keep focused to saving and not get caught up with the "Jones's mentality?" We are pretty good at keeping to our goals, but I look around see how people have all the new technology, cars, clothes, vacations, and etc. How do they do it? I just got a new car for me. I am very happy with it, but it is 8 years old and the older style for the Jeep Laredo. I really like my monthly payments, but I look at the new style and do wish I could have it. Any words of wisdom to reduce my green...not literally! Envy that is.

[bjl584]

Well, some (if not a lot) of what you see with people is perception and not reality. Smoke and mirrors maybe. Just becasue someone has a big house, a luxury car, and all the latest and greatest technology, it doesn't mean that they have a lot of money. They might simply have a lot of debt. Focus on yourself and your own goals and don't worry about what others do or have. That's the best advice that I can give you.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Living in an economically mixed neighborhood takes off a lot of Jones pressure.

[Emerald]

Growing up poor will focus your priorities. Most of the people I know with a lot of "stuff" also tend to complain about their debt and money issues. I'd rather have money and security.

Also, I tend to focus my spending on things I really want, material items that have value to me. It's easier to enjoy these splurges with money in the bank.

[MonkeyMama]

3 things:

#1 - I've never struggled too hard with this because just a couple of years focused on savings has made *all* the difference for us. It's easy to stay focused when you know you can quit your job at any time or do what you *really* want to do.

#2 - Consider the true big picture of those who have what you want. This is another one that is easy for me because I am an accountant and people share with me their money secrets and "big picture" all the time. IT would astound you how much people buy what they can't afford. I think if you keep your eyes open and think about it you can see this though (even if people don't tell you specifically their salaries and debts).

#3 - Look at the company you keep. IT is MUCH easier to stay focused if your friends have similar financial goals and if they tend to be savers. NO matter how disciplined you are and how much you see/understand #2 there is going to be some temptation. Better to not see it every single day. Spend less time with people focused on material things.

[sblatner]

I think I focus on the long-term. We are hoping to retire early or at least cut back on work. I think when you look at others, you are not seeing the whole picture. They may have big houses or fancy cars or nice trips, but they are also probably in debt. We are looking forward to the day when our kids are done with college, we are debt free and can be flexible in how we live our lives.

[007cupcake]

Reply

Thanks for the reassurance. My husband always tells me that they make a lot of money and that's why they can afford all that stuff. Most of my friends and colleagues really don't discuss debt. The in-laws just keep telling us all the places they are going and what they bought. I keep hearing on TV about the 1%, and I am wondering if they all live around me. LOL!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Yes I do, I am looking at used cars and it's hard to not throw up my hands and say "i want a new car." Everyone else has a new car but I can't. Why? But it it is what it is. The truth is that people do make a lot of money and can afford it. Or perhaps the truth is that payments always are affordable as someone told me today, but you have to choose to afford it.

[phantom]

Or perhaps the truth is that payments always are affordable as someone told me today, but you have to choose to afford it.

I think this is very true. My husband has recently taken to pointing out that we could afford payments on a new BMW (his dream car) if we really wanted to. Our long term financial position would certainly take a hit, forcing us to make sacrifices down the line, but technically, we could pull it off. I think that figuring out that not having a BMW is a choice he is making makes my husband feel better about his lack of a BMW.

The tricky thing about comparing what you have to what others have is that it's really hard to tell how they pulled it off. Are they in debt up to their eyeballs now? Are they making sacrifices in areas you can't see? Did they save a ton in the past? Do they make really good money now? Is it some combination of those things? People love to show off their status symbols, but they usually don't share how they obtained them. So, all you can really do is look at your own situation, and decide what makes sense for you.