Is this in poor taste??

[PatientSaver]

Sorry to disagree with most here, but i do think it's in poor taste. It makes it appear as though you're using the funeral as an excuse to get some money. If people pay for flowers, it's because they want to express their sympathy, and that's what I think any expenditures should be limited to.

[mom-from-missouri]

Outcome--life insurance was $30.000. Basically enough to support mom and kids for about 1 year. Dad only made 30K a year, and the insurance was 1 years salary. His retirement only had about 5K in it.

Funeral was paid for by husbands co-workers-they passed the hat and had a couple fundraisers. It was a cremation, so around $2K, church didn't charge for the service as they were active members.

$3288 was given to the moms education. That is enough for her to take an EMT class, and then start working as an EMT in 5 months (taking the class at a tech school, her tution is $1200). She is already enrolled and starts in August. The leftover money she is saving so that after having her EMT for a year, she can go back and get her paramedic. It will pay for that as well, as she will go to the same tech school and get a 25% discount for being a return student.

Mom will be working as EMT before life insurance money runs out. And, she and the kids can get a major medical insurance policy thru the tech school--they offer them at a special package for non-traditional students and their families, as a large amount of their students are adults.

She won't be making as much as the husband did, but its a start and a quick way to get into the workforce with training.

There was more life insurance, but it was already cashed in for some of his medical bills-he died of cancer.

[kv968]

Sorry to disagree with most here, but i do think it's in poor taste. It makes it appear as though you're using the funeral as an excuse to get some money. If people pay for flowers, it's because they want to express their sympathy, and that's what I think any expenditures should be limited to.

I have to kind of agree with Patient, it may come off as in poor taste.

Knowing the story "behind the scenes" (i.e. kids have money, their education taken care of, etc...) it sounds reasonable. However, if you didn't know what was going on and wanted to give it could come off badly. Maybe if they worded it as a "family fund" instead of specifically as "mom's education fund" it wouldn't be.

Usually when something like this happens, the money is guided towards the children and their future but going towards an adult's education (although definitely benefitting the children's future) may not seem as such at first glance.

I'm glad it worked out for her though.

[Gailete]

Sounds so sad, but glad that her friends, etc. understood and helped out. The woman has gone through enough already. Hopefully she hasn't forgotten to apply for Social Security for herself and the children! Many people tend to forget that this is available to widows with young children at home so probably that $30K should stretch even further as long as she doesn't have to fork over for daycare for them.

It is easy to blow something off as in poor taste when you don't know the whole story. If she had been my friend I would have much rather given to helping her achieve financial independence than for flowers that would fade and die in a few days or a dish garden that would require her attention.

There are so many ways to support someone after they lose a spouse or parent, and you need to do what you can to help if you are a friend. If you aren't a friend, you won't be sending flowers anyhow.

[shengmei]

That is funny. I always thought flowers are in bad taste. The corporations rip off small farmers from South America, make they sign contracts that they cannot grow food for their family, and pollute their water supply......

[Bluezy]

What a sad situation. The death of someone that a family depends on is rough enough, much less those left behind going through the grieving process. My prayers go out to this woman and her children.

Sounds like the decedent took care of his family by providing for the family during the first year of grieving. It also sounds like friends and co-workers jumped to the plate. This speaks highly of the friends and co-workers. The surviving spouse will move forward when ready to decide if she wants to go to school, etc. She may decide to leave the area if that is right for her family in order to move on. I would simply be there for the family and, perhaps, introduce ideas that include going back to school, etc, later down the road.