Is this in poor taste??

[mom-from-missouri]

We have all seen funerals where the family asks for no flowers, but instead memorial donations made to the children's education fund.

Considering that......

Husband dies, children already have good education funds from donations given at the grandparents death and scholarship earned from cattle sales in 4H--kids don't need it-they each have over $40,000 in their funds even though they are 10 and 14.

But mom, has always been a stay at home mom with only 80 hours of college. Would it be poor taste to request memorial donations to moms education fund?? Mom now has to be the income earner for the family and has only homemaking skills. Retirement from the husband isn't much, as they are a fairly young couple and he had only been with his company about 6 years.

Opinions please???

Personally I would give to mom if that is what the family request.

[irmanator]

I don't think so.

[breathemusic]

I certainly don't think it's in poor taste. Especially for anyone who knows the family and would understand the situation.

[disneysteve]

I don't think it is in poor taste. I do kind of wonder how beneficial it would be. Does she want to go to college? Is she able to go to college and still work and care for 2 kids? What if donations don't come anywhere close to being enough for her education? Now that money is tied up in a dedicated fund that she might not be able to use. That would be a waste.

Just another example of the importance of term life insurance. It is sad to think that a few dollars per month could have saved this family.

[chrisburke21]

I don't think it is poor taste. I think it is empowering that she wants to better herself and get back into the workforce

[JoeP]

This is why life insurance is so important. You didn't say anything about it, and I hope he had some, because now he may be leaving his family in a prickly situation.

I'd probably give some to the cause.

[MonkeyMama]

When it comes to young families and death and disability, where I live the norm is to ask for a handout. So I don't think it is in poor taste at all. Sure kids' college is often easier to raise money for. But I think college for the mom would be a good cause. More along the lines of "teaching one to fish."

Of course, the norm is to ask for a handout because the norm is not to be insured or prepare at all for these kind of things.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

It doesn't sound like poor taste to me, either.

Don't forget that the children may be eligible for survivor's social security, so that could take some strain off of her.

[rob62521]

I don't think it is in poor taste either. I think it is good that she wants to help herself and in today's economy, one has to think of those things.

[Gailete]

In our area sometimes they ask for donations to kids education funds and when the kids are only 2 or 3 at that point you wonder what happens if they don't go to college or turn out to be a straight D student. I prefer seeing donations to the family in general. The last time I saw that, the donations helped pay for the funeral. Many families, when a death occurs are slammed with expenses that no one thinks about. Like when an 18 year old girl is killed in a car accident--in the family car. Even if it will be replaced undoubtedly they will have to rent a car until they can spare time and energy to shop for one. Etc. Most families are one paycheck away from financial ruin and the best thing you can do is donate to them in a way the surviving spouse or parent can use the money as they see fit during those first couple of awful weeks.

[Mori]

We have all seen funerals where the family asks for no flowers, but instead memorial donations made to the children's education fund.

Considering that......

Husband dies, children already have good education funds from donations given at the grandparents death and scholarship earned from cattle sales in 4H--kids don't need it-they each have over $40,000 in their funds even though they are 10 and 14.

But mom, has always been a stay at home mom with only 80 hours of college. Would it be poor taste to request memorial donations to moms education fund?? Mom now has to be the income earner for the family and has only homemaking skills. Retirement from the husband isn't much, as they are a fairly young couple and he had only been with his company about 6 years.

Opinions please???

Personally I would give to mom if that is what the family request.

Honestly, $40,000 is not going to cover the kids education cost by the time they get to college. And like a mother she is thinking of her children. Though some of this doesn't make sense,why would she be getting retirement money if he die. Do you mean life insurance?

[disneysteve]

why would she be getting retirement money if he die. Do you mean life insurance?

If the husband had an IRA or 401k account, it would pass to her upon his death.

[Mori]

If the husband had an IRA or 401k account, it would pass to her upon his death.

Okay, that makes more sense.

[maat55]

IMO, you should just tell the mother she is welcome to use it for her children or herself. It is a good idea no matter who uses it, flowers are a waste of good resources.

[djanira]

Well it isn’t bad anyway, if it was the one needed the most. If I were to choose I personally share the fund to my mom if this will help a lot for all of us.