Personal Responsibility or Financial Literacy?

[Gailete]

I was a former nurse until my disability. Nursing is a well paid job and generally with many good benefits thrown in. I was certainly able to support myself on my salary and if an exhusband hadn't sucked up all my savings, I would be in a lot better shape financially. At one point I was living on half my salary, after taxes and living expenses all the rest was going into investments. One thing you might want to warn your daughter about is be careful of her back, she only has one. erhaps though I looked at my nursing pay as a GOOD income because I had grown up so poor.

I think personal responsiblity for anything is going by the wayside. So few want to take responsiblity for anything. A frequent problem those of us that sell on line run into is a person buying something, they don't bother to confirm that their address is correct at Paypal and so the package goes to somewhere they haven't lived for 3-5 years. Then they blame US for sending it to the wrong place (like how would we know where they live now much less 3 years ago), refuse to pay another shipping charge to resend the package since "it certainly isn't my fault". I almost fell off my chair one day when a customer said yes I made a mistake and here is the extra shipping! that doesn't happen often. And that is just one little example.

I started college at 17 which also coincided with my needing to take care of myself financially. I can't imagine a girl within 2 years from possibly being in collage not yet taking responisiblity for her own schedule. Is mom going to go along with her or remind her over the phone daily that she has a test or paper due? Let your kids grow up!!!!!!!!

[asmom]

My daughter wants to be a nurse. I sigh at the very idea. I know nursing is an admirable career but you will never be wealthy. She will have to marry someone who has a decent career. Now, we are talking about pushing what's important to me onto her. I want to tell her that struggling financially is NOT fun and it's NOT a good life.

I've been a nurse for over 20 years and while I've made some questionable financial decisions, I've never struggled financially. In fact, most nurses make quite a decent salary certainly the average RN salary is higher than the average household wage. To add, I know quite a few nurses who make six figures and while admittedly that usually requires an advanced degree or a management position, it is absolutely possible. And most important of all, I have never been involuntarily unemployed in over 21 years.

[asmom]

I don't think that financial literacy necessarily flows from personal responsibility. There are a lot of well-meaning people who simply do not understand personal finance. Purchasing a home is an overwhelming process and many people rely on the people who have the "expertise"( ie mortgage professionals and real estate professionals) to guide them without reasoning that those folks do not necessarily have their best interests at heart. Interest rates can be confusing especially as borrowers can make the terms and conditions convoluted. Personal responsibility is important but it is not all that is needed by a long shot.

[Barclay]

My apologies to the nursing profession. Most nurses around here only make around 50-60k a year. I didnt mean to be offensive.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Only $50-60K? But Barclay, isn't average US _household_ income $52K? I understand you want your daughter to be wealthy, but I do not see how you could consider $50-$60 anything but decent. You said that if your daughter were to become a nurse she would have to marry someone with a decent career. $50-$60K earned by one person is not low pay, even if it is not wealthy. If your daughter were to marry another nurse, it sounds like they would have twice the national average income. No problem there. For my understanding, "decent" is not equivalent to "wealthy." If you truly were dirt poor at one time, you understand how to live happily on the average US household income, right?

Even a kid coming from an average $52k household will need to understand how to live within her very scant means at the beginning of her student & working life. So the adjustments your daughter may have to make, the learning she may have to do will be similar to what most kids will have to do. It may be more difficult for her if she has not had much practice in making do, creating alternatives, and delaying gratification. But she can probably rise to the occasion, especially if you give her a head start at realistic personal finance starting right away.--Yeah, both the personal responsibility side and the knowledge side.

[josetann]

Only $50-60K? But Barclay, isn't average US _household_ income $52K? I understand you want your daughter to be wealthy, but I do not see how you could consider $50-$60 anything but decent. You said that if your daughter were to become a nurse she would have to marry someone with a decent career. $50-$60K earned by one person is not low pay, even if it is not wealthy. If your daughter were to marry another nurse, it sounds like they would have twice the national average income. No problem there. For my understanding, "decent" is not equivalent to "wealthy." If you truly were dirt poor at one time, you understand how to live happily on the average US household income, right?

Thank you, that's pretty much exactly what I was thinking. And if you combine frugality in there, you can live a VERY decent (in my opinion) life.

[Barclay]

Ive been very poor as a child. It was not a happy time for me. Again, Im not trying to be offensive, its a personal opinion.

[maat55]

I do not see the two subjects as comparable. Alot of people are responsible, yet lack knowledge and skills to prosper financially.

The question is: which is more important in life. IMO, personal responsibility is far more important.

I have a brother that is responsible( pays his bills, honors his commitments), yet he does not prosper financially. I was much the same way when I was younger. I consider financial education to be one of the most important aspects in life and is severely under educated in the home and schools.

It is the teaching of structure and principles(proper fundamentals of life) that promotes personal responsibility. Good personal finance skills would be a major part of this structure.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Can you have personal finance skills without personal responsibility?

[josetann]

Can you have personal finance skills without personal responsibility?

Yes. Just as you can be knowledgeable about the laws against breaking and entering, but choose to do so anyways. One can easily know the proper way to handle their finances, but just not give a darn.

[disneysteve]

Can you have personal finance skills without personal responsibility?

Sure. Knowing what to do and doing it are two different things. We often relate personal finance to dieting. Most people know that a Big Mac, fries and a Coke is not a healthy meal, but they eat it anyway. In the same manner, most people know that charging things they can't afford, borrowing money at 29.99% interest and spending every penny of their paycheck each week isn't a great idea, but they do it anyway.

[UnknownXV]

As a parent, I find a lot of gray areas in "teaching moments". We want our children to be independent and hard working. BUT, we also want to protect them from mistakes that they will pay very dearly for. I don't want my daughter to charge up thousands of dollars on credit cards. I don't want her to fail out of college. I grew up pretty dirt poor so finance was easy for me. I knew that I never wanted to be like my parents. SO, I researched careers that paid a lot of money and had high employment rates. I knew I wasnt going to get any money for college from my family, so I got scholarships. It's different for my children. They've never gone hungry. They've never blocked off the rest of the house and huddled around a heater in one room so stay warm in the winter. They've always had everything. And they can't get financial aid because I work too hard.

My daughter wants to be a nurse. I sigh at the very idea. I know nursing is an admirable career but you will never be wealthy. She will have to marry someone who has a decent career. Now, we are talking about pushing what's important to me onto her. I want to tell her that struggling financially is NOT fun and it's NOT a good life.

Parenting is HARD. We want our children to be successful and HAPPY. But, you can't live their life for them.

Nurses make $40k and above.

That's not a low or modest income. If you're smart and have a few grains of discipline you can tuck away over 10k a year on that while still living comfortably. Maybe not as comfortably as the life you've been able to provide for her (I don't know your situation) but it's definitely not living in the slums.

Ive been very poor as a child. It was not a happy time for me. Again, Im not trying to be offensive, its a personal opinion.

There is a vast difference between poor and making 50k or more a year. I'm not sure exactly what it is you expect your daughter to spend that kind of money a year on but, well... if she'd have to sacrifice much to live well on that salary, I'm sorry to say you might have spoiled her a bit.

Pay above the average for the country is certainly decent.

If you think 50k a year is low, how do you even quantify those making $15k a year?

[Gailete]

I was an RN before becoming disabled and I agree with the above sentiments. Nursing pays well above the average pay and especially if the nurse works for a hospital, they also get great benefits compared to many other workers. I had a very easy time supporting myself on nurse wages and was able to save a lot. I guess it is what you are used to (I grew up poor as well), as it was the most money that I had made in my life. Especially if your daughter remains single for awhile, she can get her savings going and have all she needs and plenty of her wants as well. The biggest thing for her to worry about is taking care of her back and knees so that they don't give out on her.

I have found it interesting lately at the posts here of people that find $40-60+K a year to be insufficient pay. So many American households live on far less than that. When I got disabled, my then pay went from $35K/year to less than $11K/ year on Social Security--now that is hard to live on! At least most nurses get opportunities for tons of overtime and if they need extra, they can earn it with no trouble. I think one of the things we need to look at is what does it really cost to handle out needs and what is going out to handle our wants. A simple modest house or place to live is a need, but a mini-McMansion is not a need by any stretch of the imagination although that seems to be what lots are striving for. I'm not suggesting that people 'settle', but looking back on your life will all those wants that you worked so hard for be as important as your family, good health, and what you did for others.

[Gailete]

This should generally be taken to mean that, to be accountable for oneself, one would admit to one's mistakes, make an attempt to make those mistakes right, and live in a way that does not harm others whenever possible.

Accountability is missing from so many people these days. A situation came up on another site that I frequent where a poster had been 'disciplined' by the site owner. Their defense? Others were doing it, why can't I? This was in regards to running a store of their own. Why would other's actions be more important than having something you are proud of, not just a clone of what others had done in a 'wrong' manner? But as the years speed by for me, I have seen this as a defense for actions over and over and over again. What is that telling our kids? As long as you can find someone else in the wrong it makes your actions right and correct?

Teaching our kids that how big their paycheck is is more important than personal happiness and satisfaction is so wrong. When all you are doing is chasing the almighty dollar, pound, yen, then your values can get sort of warped. I'm not saying that planning and lookng at the wages of a career you are interested in is wrong, it is just equally important that what career you get into should be something that makes you happy and able to bounce out of bed in the morning!