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    "Life" keeps happening

    I don't want to sound like a whiner, but "life" keeps happening to us. All relatively minor things and some positive things but it's just made it hard to keep moving in the positive direction financially. I'd like to think that these things happen to everyone, but sometimes I wonder why we can't catch a break.

    2008: bought a used car about two weeks before we got married, because wife's beater final stopped working
    2009: Major car repair about $3,000
    2010: baby #1 arrived about $6,000 between doctor bills and 8 weeks of unpaid leave for my wife
    2011: wife has to get surgery, someone does a hit and run on our paid-for car that got the $3,000 worth of work done on it (repair estimate $2,200 for a car valued between $7-5K)
    2012: planning on baby #2 arriving

    It's all been stuff we can weather, but our cash savings have definitely taken a hit. We have low overhead and that helps us absorb the hits.

    Looking back, the one of the best pieces of advice that I got was from a jeweler when I was buying my wife's engagement ring. He said not to spend too much on it because it was the first big expense in a long line of big expenses. Yes, the jeweler told me this.

    #2
    Originally posted by elessar78 View Post
    Looking back, the one of the best pieces of advice that I got was from a jeweler when I was buying my wife's engagement ring. He said not to spend too much on it because it was the first big expense in a long line of big expenses. Yes, the jeweler told me this.
    You must live in Mayberry
    "Those who can't remember the past are condemmed to repeat it".- George Santayana.

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      #3
      At least you were financially prepared for "life." The average joe would have been buried by the list of expenses that you just laid out.
      Brian

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        #4
        Originally posted by GREENBACK View Post
        You must live in Mayberry
        Well being the way I am, when I was ring shopping I tried to look 'em up and saw that they had no website. A business without a website in 2007?? I just saw business opportunity and proposed to the owner that we do a barter. So I built 'em a website in exchange for an engagement ring.

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          #5
          Originally posted by bjl584 View Post
          At least you were financially prepared for "life." The average joe would have been buried by the list of expenses that you just laid out.
          I sm glad about that, but I think that we're all in this to build wealth and it's proven really hard to do that when we're just treading water these days. Yeah, just gotta remind myself that this is a long-term process.

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            #6
            Originally posted by elessar78 View Post
            I don't want to sound like a whiner, but "life" keeps happening to us. All relatively minor things and some positive things but it's just made it hard to keep moving in the positive direction financially. I'd like to think that these things happen to everyone, but sometimes I wonder why we can't catch a break.

            2008: bought a used car about two weeks before we got married, because wife's beater final stopped working
            2009: Major car repair about $3,000
            2010: baby #1 arrived about $6,000 between doctor bills and 8 weeks of unpaid leave for my wife
            2011: wife has to get surgery, someone does a hit and run on our paid-for car that got the $3,000 worth of work done on it (repair estimate $2,200 for a car valued between $7-5K)
            2012: planning on baby #2 arriving

            It's all been stuff we can weather, but our cash savings have definitely taken a hit. We have low overhead and that helps us absorb the hits.

            Looking back, the one of the best pieces of advice that I got was from a jeweler when I was buying my wife's engagement ring. He said not to spend too much on it because it was the first big expense in a long line of big expenses. Yes, the jeweler told me this.
            That sounds more unlucky if anything. I've never ever in my 15 years of car ownership have to pay more than $1000 a year for repairs.

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              #7
              Originally posted by jadet View Post
              That sounds more unlucky if anything. I've never ever in my 15 years of car ownership have to pay more than $1000 a year for repairs.
              You are an exception, not the rule with this statement.

              To the OP, children are blessings and are lifelong commitments obviously, but LOL they shouldn't be surprises for you guys. I wouldn't call that "life" happening. You have unprotected sex with your wife, yes, you should expect kids.

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                #8
                Originally posted by Shewillbemine View Post
                You are an exception, not the rule with this statement.

                To the OP, children are blessings and are lifelong commitments obviously, but LOL they shouldn't be surprises for you guys. I wouldn't call that "life" happening. You have unprotected sex with your wife, yes, you should expect kids.
                Fair enough. Although I didn't mean to say that the kid was an accident and she IS a blessing that I would pay infinite multiples for, we had planned on it so we had funds save up for time off and the pregnancy wasn't entirely smooth, nothing major but lots of tests needed to monitor the situation.

                I meant it as another event in life that cost more than a few hundred bucks.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by Shewillbemine View Post
                  You are an exception, not the rule with this statement.

                  To the OP, children are blessings and are lifelong commitments obviously, but LOL they shouldn't be surprises for you guys. I wouldn't call that "life" happening. You have unprotected sex with your wife, yes, you should expect kids.
                  This was my thought as well The car thing I get... but kids as an example of life happening and causing expenses? Those are preventable expenses, not something that just happened to you.

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                    #10
                    Originally posted by jadet View Post
                    That sounds more unlucky if anything. I've never ever in my 15 years of car ownership have to pay more than $1000 a year for repairs.
                    You've been lucky. I expect to spend a couple thousand per car per year routinely. I figure that is still cheaper than buying new ones. Our cars are 11 and 13 years old at this point.
                    Steve

                    * Despite the high cost of living, it remains very popular.
                    * Why should I pay for my daughter's education when she already knows everything?
                    * There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      This is why I believe in having a trusted mechanic. I've had a car for 20 years - some of them were REALLY old - and knock on wood, no major car repairs to speak of. Nothing over $1000 comes to mind, even the car I Retired at 20 years old. Since owning newer cars, we spend about $500/year (if that) to maintan them. OF course, besides having an awesome mechanic, we also think it is important to stay on top of maintenance. (Older cars maybe averaged $1000/year? & by old I mean OLD - we have an 11-year-old car at current that is extremely low maintenance). I do admit I am lucky that I have never had a large repair. I am sure I am VERY due some transmission problems or something along those lines. Don't get me wrong - I just don't think it is all luck to keep car maintenance expenses on the low side.

                      Anyway, there is nothing about the experience of OP that strikes me as terribly unlucky. Like he says, That is LIFE! The better you prepare financially for this kind of stuff, the easier life is. Isn't that the primary motivation for striving for some measure of financial security? I think the sooner one accepts this is all part of life, the easier it is to deal with it all.

                      & yes, the jeweler was wise!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by MonkeyMama View Post
                        Anyway, there is nothing about the experience of OP that strikes me as terribly unlucky. Like he says, That is LIFE! The better you prepare financially for this kind of stuff, the easier life is. Isn't that the primary motivation for striving for some measure of financial security? I think the sooner one accepts this is all part of life, the easier it is to deal with it all.

                        & yes, the jeweler was wise!
                        Well the first car issue, I had a lapse of judgment. We had just gotten married and moved to a new area, so I no longer had a trusted mechanic. Long story short, my car wouldn't start one day and my wife convinced me to let her mechanically inclined brother to have a go at it. He admitted down the road to my wife, that he thinks he may have exacerbated the problem when he couldn't fix it. Not an all out admission of guilt but at that point everything had been paid and done, lesson learned. And the second, someone hit my car.

                        I guess my point is that if this is "life" and if these are the events that are "out of budget" then I better start working more/smarter/harder to generate more income to get ahead. We live below our means considerably so we just have a (baby) pool of cash for the unexpected, as in nothing is earmarked specifically for car repairs, etc.

                        When I was single I certainly didn't have these many "events."

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by elessar78 View Post
                          2012: planning on baby #2 arriving
                          That's great news. Additional good news is that fact that 2nd babies almost always cost less than the first. You already have clothes, diapers, blankets, etc. Sure, the new baby will perhaps need a few items, but I found each successive child cost much less than the previous one.

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                            #14
                            My father-in-law always says "Call me when life stops being crazy". I really believe that for most people who get married in their early to mid 20's, they really don't have a "life" before marriage. Usually you are still living like a college students and potentially with roommates. Your expectations are lower so you don't repair things like minor car problems. Plus you kind of except to be broke so you don't really track your money except when you have to live off ramen at the end of the month. Now this isn't necessarily a good thing and is often a reason young people get into debt, but before marriage, there is little incentive to actually get your financial life on track.

                            And then once your married (or once life starts to get serious) things like babies start to happen. But that's usually the wake up call to get your financial life in order.

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                              #15
                              this thread is gold. I completely understand how LIFE always hits when you least expect it!

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