Back to school blues

**photo** · 08-13-2011, 05:46 PM

Originally posted by SarahJ View Post

I have 4 kids going to school this year and they all want new wardrobes, shoes,

I'll argue for the shoes if their feet have grown. However, for a new wardrobe, why are you allowing them to hold you hostage? Kids wants all kinds of things, and if we give them everything, they'll only want more and more.

Your local Wal-mart should have basic school supplies for fairly cheap.

If you spend a small fortune on your children for school, it's only because you want to do it, not because you have to. Every parent who caves in to getting his kids the latest fashions only makes it harder for other parents. It's a self-perpetuating cycle.

**moneybags** · 08-14-2011, 08:48 AM

Originally posted by photo View Post

If you spend a small fortune on your children for school, it's only because you want to do it, not because you have to.

I just spent $1000 in registrations fees for 2 kids to attend public high school. Still to come: $350 to participate in sports, $30 for uniform for sports. The $1000 is not because I want to. I could eliminate the sports, but I feel the value far outweighs the cost. I'm down $1400 before I even think about shoes, clothes, or supplies.

**photo** · 08-14-2011, 09:39 AM

Originally posted by moneybags View Post

I just spent $1000 in registrations fees for 2 kids to attend public high school.

That is about 9 times expensive as our school. However, why do you buy all new clothes and shoes for school? We only bought them when the children needed them, not automatically at the beginning of the school year.

There's nothing saying that clothes for kids can't be hand-me-downs or have to be purchased brand-new.

**krantcents** · 08-14-2011, 11:49 AM

I can not add anything about clothes because my kids wore uniforms. As a teacher, you should check with the school or teachers to find out what is needed versus wanted by the kids.

**snafu** · 08-14-2011, 02:24 PM

The problem is the kids judge each other based on what they're wearing; it's vicious. Parents please listen to what your kids are saying about shoe 'wars.' this affects boys as much as girls

**photo** · 08-14-2011, 02:41 PM

Originally posted by snafu View Post

The problem is the kids judge each other based on what they're wearing; it's vicious. Parents please listen to what your kids are saying about shoe 'wars.' this affects boys as much as girls

This all can become a self-perpetuating destructive cycle, much like debt. We give into our children's want of certain clothing, and then all parents despise each other for contributing to the problem -- yet those parents are doing the same thing. When does it end?

Decisions we make as parents are frequently unpopular. However, if you stick to your guns and get kids interested in less superficial matters, they will find friends who like them for who they are, not what they wear.

I know it sounds like I've tried to oversimplify it, but I firmly believe that buying expensive clothing for children just sets them up for expectations that are bound to disappoint. Oddly enough, the kids who I've seen dressed the best, are often from a lower socio-economic group.

**Frugal** · 08-14-2011, 03:50 PM

Walgreen's has had some really good deals on school supplies over the past two-three weeks. I would look there!

**bjl584** · 08-15-2011, 08:48 AM

Originally posted by SarahJ View Post

Back to school already and time to spend a small fortune. I have 4 kids going to school this year and they all want new wardrobes, shoes, and of course the long list of school supplies. It seems every year they need more and more. I remember how excited I use to be as a child going back to school, it was like a new beginning. My mom was a single parent of 4 and she always did the best she could for us. I sure do appreciate her more and more every year that I see the total at the check out register.

Yep, I sure do have those back to school blues

What do you mean by a small fortune?

I don't have kids, but when I was in school I don't remember my parents spending all that much for me to go back to school. The clothes from the year before worked just fine unless they were completely worn out or if I had outgrown them. Kmart or Walmart had plenty of jeans and tshirts that were inexpensive. And, the supplies that I needed weren't many. I had the same backpack the entire time I was in highschool (and actually I used it all through college and grad school as well.) I still have it today and use it when I travel for work. Other than that, all that I had to get was a box of mechanical pencils and some paper. I made book covers out of brown paper bags.

What sort of things do your kids actaully need? Not want, but need?

**riverwed070707** · 08-15-2011, 09:36 AM

OP-While I agree that school supply lists have gotten ridiculously long, I also agree with the others that your problem seems partially self inflicted. New year does not have to mean all new wardrobe/supplies/backpacks/ect. If your kids have outgrown their clotes, buy new to you at a kids consignment shop, backpacks can be recycled year to year and buy practical shoes rather than what's trendy. School supplies are cheap, but only buy what you need. There is no reason for a new pencil box every year. Is there glue left over from the year before? Consolidate loose leaf paper that went unused and make sure notebooks got used up. Buy the $.20 notebooks instead of the $3 Hannah Montana ones. If it helps, go school shopping without your kids so there is no pressure to buy what you don't need.

Moneybags - Now registration fees, sports, etc is a different story but if it costs that much, I assume you are in a good school district. Higher fees allow your kids to have opportunities other schools don't have. Public school may be "free" but funding still has to come from somewhere and I don't think it's unreasonable that part of that funding come from the people who are using the service. $500/kid/year is a small investment in the overall picture, IMO

**SarahJ** · 08-16-2011, 02:26 PM

I didn't say that I buy them all new clothes, I just said they want all new. Every year we go through the closets and keep everything they still can use, then we add to it a little. Small fortune means to me more than I want to spend because I am a penny pincher. School fees, and school lunches are all part of this expense. My kids are in no way spoiled and get everything they want. They just like to complain that they don't..

**davidfreedavidfree** · 08-16-2011, 06:44 PM

Your local Wal-mart should have basic school supplies for fairly cheap.

**davidfreedavidfree** · 08-16-2011, 06:45 PM

Try to look for second hand items..

**bjl584** · 08-17-2011, 06:06 AM

Originally posted by SarahJ View Post

I didn't say that I buy them all new clothes, I just said they want all new. Every year we go through the closets and keep everything they still can use, then we add to it a little. Small fortune means to me more than I want to spend because I am a penny pincher. School fees, and school lunches are all part of this expense. My kids are in no way spoiled and get everything they want. They just like to complain that they don't..

So you were venting more than you were asking for advice? Fair enough.

Going forward, you should budget for back to school expenses if you don't already. Set aside X amount per month, and when back to school shopping time rolls around, it will make the experience that less painful for you.

**SarahJ** · 08-17-2011, 10:37 AM

Thank you Brian.. You are so right.. We save for Christmas but not back to school. That really doesn't make sense. That's definitely gonna change. Love this forum.

Back to school blues