All I can do is shake my head at this.

[cypher1]

This time around I just told him that money was tight right now and that I didn't have anything extra to lend him. He was cool with that answer, so that was the end of it.

Perfect response. You really can't argue with an answer like that. I'd love for someone to try and question my finances if I told them it's a bad time.

[disneysteve]

This time around I just told him that money was tight right now and that I didn't have anything extra to lend him.

I think that is a perfectly reasonable answer if it is true, but you may not always get away with that. That answer implies that if money weren't so tight, you would have lent it to him, which I suspect isn't true and you should let that be known to avoid future requests. I would be much more likely to say, "Sorry but I don't believe in lending money to anybody." Tell him that you value the friendship too much to risk destroying it over money, because that's exactly what would happen if you lent it and he wasn't able to repay it. Even if he does repay it, if you lend it to him and he blows it on cigarettes and beer, you are going to harbor bad feelings about that.

[bjl584]

I think that is a perfectly reasonable answer if it is true, but you may not always get away with that. That answer implies that if money weren't so tight, you would have lent it to him, which I suspect isn't true and you should let that be known to avoid future requests. I would be much more likely to say, "Sorry but I don't believe in lending money to anybody." Tell him that you value the friendship too much to risk destroying it over money, because that's exactly what would happen if you lent it and he wasn't able to repay it. Even if he does repay it, if you lend it to him and he blows it on cigarettes and beer, you are going to harbor bad feelings about that.

You are correct. It wasn't true at all. It was just my quick fix to getting out of the situation. I'm taking your advice if this issue comes up again. Overall, he's a good guy and a good friend. Money is just a severe weakness for him. I've given up on trying to talk to him about finances, so I just avoid the subject entirely when I'm around him.

[preciouslove]

I've been in your position before too...but my friend wasn't earning as much money as yours but I understand your frustration! I don't lend out to anybody ever because I'm afraid I wont get my money back and it could really ruin your relationships with people! Hope you steer clear of his 'people to lend me money' list next time around...

[DebbieL]

You just converted a friend to an enemy. This is why I don't text and ignore text message when I received them. First off, it cost me money to receive text so people are on my bad side when they text me. Second, texting has made it impersonal to do personal things like borrowing money. You should delete the text and said nothing.

That's a pretty huge assumption don't you think? Why would this person suddenly think of bjl584 as an enemy? I've turned down friends for loans - and they are still friends.