Children and Finances

[guppy]

I don't think there is a wrong or right answer to this. Personally, for my family, I had a mother who offered to help us watch the baby when I return to work. For my family, I would not consider using daycare. I do not have any interest in strangers help raise my child. But I know others who went the daycare route who were perfectly happy with their decision. And then there are the people who take issue with me having my mother help out with my child. So to each their own!

[Bob B.]

IMO a grandparent is a good 2nd best choice to parent for child care while mom and dad work. Most other choices, again IMO, are a distant 3rd.

[elessar78]

Finances are an integral part of life so, ergo, child rearing as well. We're not rich, nor out of debt, but we were pretty comfortable with our cash flow. So we felt it was okay.

Not that everyone doesn't know this, but the window in which it's easy to conceive is finite. Yes, it's possible to conceive later in life thanks to modern medicine, but it's not as easy as the media portrays it. We have known several people who waited too long and struggled in this dept.

I'll probably be flamed for this, but if you want kids go for it while you're still in the "good window". You can always improve your financial situation. Barring medical complications or special needs, babies are relatively inexpensive.

[hassell]

It does matter sometimes that you want to have a baby but without any financial issues arising after that. Its better to plan it and with consultation you can decide the right time to have a baby.I also did that and was easy in my life after the first child was born.

[MonkeyMama]

Yes, but you are a physician, so a bit easier to live below your means when your means are a 6 figure income When you are married to a cook (for example), it's a little harder to do. I agree that having one parent stay home is great, but I don't think it is feasible for a lot of couples. My thinking is also a bit influenced by the fact that I live in an extremely high COL area, that also has low paying jobs (on average).

It just depends on your priorities. We grew up in the most expensive city in the nation, and moved because we wanted a parent home with the kids. (& didn't want to take 50 years to pay off a mortgage on a condo).

[MonkeyMama]

IMO a grandparent is a good 2nd best choice to parent for child care while mom and dad work. Most other choices, again IMO, are a distant 3rd.

I don't agree with that statement at all.

Unfortunately, most the people I know have relatives/grandparents caring for their kids while they work. Drama Drama Drama. Some of these grandparents are also VILE. Control and boundary issues for the rest of them. Honestly, I am sick of hearing about it!

Meanwhile, an unhappy parent at home is not preferable to a good daycare situation.

We initially preferred to raise our own kids, but am glad we saw what daycare could add to our family. My kids only went part-time, but are better for it. I think it is sad how demonized daycare is. The "stranger" who helped raise my kids for a couple of years is the most awesome person I have ever met in my life. Since we have no family here, she was our second family for a time. (She moved; we miss her terribly).

[MonkeyMama]

For us, we wanted a home, a nest egg and a solid income. We achieved all that by 25 and immediately had kids. I wouldn't change a thing.

Beyond being lower middle class or impoverished, I think creativity is more important than income. When it comes to the middle class. We live in California and made that decision on a $50k income. Hardly a large income for the area - most my friends would say you can't survive without six figures, here. That said, we put 20% down on our home, saved my dh's entire income when he worked, etc., etc. We have a smaller mortgage (paid more down - lower interest rate) than most our friends, for one. Also, I now make closer to $75k, and my take-home pay is bigger than when we made $100k combined. I am a tax professional and understood clearly how little we would pay in taxes when we had kids - was like a 25% raise (bugger take-home pay) right off the bat. Honestly, most my husband's $50k income would go to taxes and daycare? We decided it wasn't worth him working full-time to net $10k per year. Kind of ridiculous, actually. (May be different if he actually liked his job?)

I think middle ground is important. We had talked of working 5 more years and paying off the house, but I am glad we didn't. Having kids means more to us than money and wealth. BUT, it is very important for us that we have both means and time for them. I think we found the perfect middle ground for ourselves.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We waited until 30 and 32 for non-monetary reasons. Financially we could have afforded kids easily I'd say 5-6 years ago. But we waited because we were having fun. We traveled, ate out, did hobbies, stuff we don't do now. We used to snowboard every weekend two days! Now my DH went for the first time since 2009.

Financially waiting also allows us to do what we want pretty much. We still eat out, not as often, we save, we budget, etc. Last year our net worth went up $170k and we had a baby in January 2010. So I'd have saved another $30k if we had watched our money better and not splurged on the baby so much. We spent an awful lot in 2010 on traveling to show her off to family, bought safer car, I'd gone back to work. VERY important she meet her great grannies before they pass on.

So money wasn't our issue. We made sure we were done with our major schooling, I may go back and get a certificate to change fields though. We had a lot of couple time together (our 20s), we had fun and did a lot of things we wanted to do. We really matured as a couple and individuals first and foremost.

I can honestly say that I have no regrets about working, education, or traveling. I have done a lot and I'm okay being at home with my baby. I an reveling in it.

I hear it ALL the time from people "You need $X to stay at home." Sorry but no ways. I know for a fact another mom whose husband makes a lot and she can't AFFORD to stay at home BECAUSE they LIFESTYLE they desire is unreachable. I did point out if you can't make it work on $130k/year then something is wrong with your lifestyle.

Choices. It's all about choices.