help with neighbors

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I live in a townhouse and I'm damn tired of it. I am tired of dealing with S&*($& neighbors but it's the price I pay to live close to work. Right now we are working really hard to get out of our townhouse and move.

First issue, my husband and I are getting into an argument with our neighbors about their dog. She barks ALL DAY! And on the weekends if they go out she barks because she has separation anxiety. We've mentioned this since June. And they said they've been working on it. It's better because they lock her in a room so the noise is less, but it's still there. Last week I mentioned they said they would get a dog trainer in and it hasn't happened. I am getting sick and tired of this stuff. My DH wants to keep on good terms for two reasons, one we want to sell next year and don't want to mess up our sale. And two we have a dog. AND yes I know our dog does not bark when we're not home. I've had neighbors mention the dog barking and yes they also know it's the Beagle next door and not our dog. The dogs have VERY distinctive barks, their beagle bays.

So should I push the issue again and give them an ultimatum? A neighbor suggested the cops but I don't want to go there. I want them to hire a dog trainer for starters. I think they ARE completely HORRIBLE TERRIBLE dog owners because when it became an issue they should have immediately put the effort to rectify it. But they are LAZY, SELFISH people who don't do anything.

By the way their dog is still barking this morning, after starting at 9:10 am. I am now writing notes as to the hours she barks. I am at home with the baby and it pisses me off to no end.

Second issue with them, we have a shared backyard. Last year my DH and I leveled, rototilled, covered, and weeded our section. This year we are ready to put down sod. We also cleaned our front area and made it presentable.

They and the 2nd owners (the men) are envious so they paid a landscaper to come out and weed their backyards. They WANTED us to chip in! FORGET IT! We refused and said did you see our area?

Now we are having sod and loom put in and levelled, and they want to split it 40-40-20 which is the share of our ownership. BUT the kicker is that their area has a terrible grade and needs A LOT more work and labor than our area. We are refusing to do this because we can roll our own sod out this weekend in 4 hours and be done. We told them they have until tomorrow to decide.

They are COMPLAINING that we don't want to chip in on the costs. The 2nd Male Neighbors said they can do it themselves or pay for it. BUT they want to see to how much it costs. And would love to only pay 20% to their portion, but they know that if they do we'll just refuse and they can pay the landscaper themselves.

Help me think up rational and nice arguments so I don't end up offending our neighbors. My DH and I are on the same side. We're sick and tired of these jerks, but hey we have to deal.

By the way, would it be rude to email them again and tell them their dog is still barking? Their last response was pretty nasty when I brought it up again. Granted it was 3 days after we mentioned it again. But now it's been a week, so maybe I should?

[disneysteve]

I don't know what to suggest about the dog except to call the police.

I'm confused about the lawn stuff, though. Why would you be responsible for any costs involved in work they do to their lawn? In fact, why are you even having to do work on your own lawn? In townhouses, doesn't the HOA generally take care of exterior maintenance like lawn care?

[GREENBACK]

They make special collars that give a mild stimulation to the dog when they try to bark. I've never used one but have heard they work. You might suggest this.

[disneysteve]

Is there an HOA with which you could file a complaint?

[jIM_Ohio]

I have not heard of a condo or townhouse where you need to maintain the outside... more info please

[terces]

As far as getting the cops involved its going to be based on what the noise ordinances is for your area. Plus being the dog is locked up in the person's home, there probably isn't much they can do. Maybe try the HOA on that one. Otherwise I would put up some soundproofing material. Best thing to do when you are sharing walls with another house.

Yes the dog needs training but if the people are unwilling there is not much you can do to force them. I tried those electronic collars and not only are they expensive but they aren't a fixall. They didn't work for us.

[Cassius King]

Stop Dog Barking with the Dog Silencer Pro - Safe, Humane Anti Bark Control Product

[mdcrim]

We also have a beagle in the neighborhood. Nothing against beagles but their bark is like a child being tortured. Several neighbors have called the police on them after numerous attempted interventions have failed. The result has been than now the beagle has what looks like a muzzle on when he's outside but it prevents his bark from being audible. I don't think they could humanely keep this on all day, though, so I don't think it would help in your situation too much. Don't know about the landscaping issues, though. Sounds like each person should just individually take responsibility for their own property...

[snafu]

I live in a townhouse complex, have a dog as do many of our near-by neighbors. There is nothing to be gained by complaining to a neighbor, there is too much potential to promote bad feelings and negative results. You need to know the bylaws that govern your complex and follow procedure. I suspect HOA requires the complaint in writing/e-mail with details like the monitoring you are doing [dog barked _ AM - _AM & _ PM - _PM.

In our district there are several doggy day care centers where they walk dogs, play, socialize and train dogs for a modest daily fee.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

There is 3 people in our HOA. It's an old single family home converted into 3 condos. And the yard is a shared backyard that is subdivided.

Basically a big yard with each of us having our own space. We worked on our area and those lazy bums did not and now want us to pay. We are refusing and it's upsetting them. It's not the cost, but we are not in favor of paying for other people's lazy asses.

The dog already wears a citronella and ultrasonic collar and she barks right through them 8 hours straight. She also barks at night if they go out the entire time so it's not just during the day and doggie daycare will only mask the problem NOT solve it.

The area they want divided like our home 40-40-20%, however they own the largest share of the yard so it wouldn't be fair to be 40-40-20. However, they refuse to acknowledge it because they are petty and cheap.

We have mentioned it and I've called the city today. I am going to give them one more chance and then call the cops on them. I live in a pretty affluent area and it will be embarrassing and the cops do come for such small things. My DH is horrified but wants me to be the bad guy.

And Snafu I have documented for the past month her hours of barking. I have it on email. I also have mentioned this since June and they have asked for patience since they are "working" on her behavior.

I would like them to hire a dog trainer asap (by the end of the week) and start hard core working on their dog's behavior. I am willing to be understanding and patient, but I want to see progress towards a resolution.

[Seeker]

Help me think up rational and nice arguments so I don't end up offending our neighbors. My DH and I are on the same side. We're sick and tired of these jerks, but hey we have to deal.

All I would say to anyone trying to get you to chip in your dollars for the other owners' parts of the shared yard is:

"We are trying to save money; we did the work ourselves on our portion. There's no reason for us to spend our money on your portion of the yard; just like there'd be no reason for us to ask you to spend your money on our time and materials we used to remedy our portion of the yard. Sorry but we're done with the yard."

[Seeker]

I have not heard of a condo or townhouse where you need to maintain the outside... more info please

There's many variables in how it's done around here at the various places I'm familiar with.

Generally "common grounds" are defined as where ALL of the community has access; and generally HOAs have control/maintenance over those areas. "Common grounds" do not consist of all areas just because they happen to be outdoors. Usually there are physical factors involved.

Fenced in areas are usually owners responsibility (either individual or shared) depending entirely on which of them have access to that space (patio, balcony, entryway if behind a gate that only some have a key to, etc). If there's an entry way behind a gate that leads to some units but not all, then people with access to that entryway have equal share in that space; and share in the cost of replacing that gate if a tree happens to fall down upon it and damage it.

I've seen townhouses along a public street where the front is HOA landscape maintained, but the back yards are fenced in and each owner has complete control over the the path leading to the garage and the yards enclosed by their back gates.

I've also seen other townhouse owners agree to maintain both front and back yards in order to reduce costs. Generally these are very small HOAs (two townhouses back-to-back, or side-to-side and landscape all around the building). I've also seens townhouses where there's no landscape to maintain and it's just plain cement and homes.

So the general rule is read and know the Rules and Regulations of anyplace you are indending to move into. The owners/BOD and ultimately the management company that outsources tasks as the BOD directs make up the rules. They can be changed, by petition, and ultimately a majority vote... but change takes time. Understand your rights.

[frugalgirl]

I don't see how calling the police will do anything but cause more bad blood with your neighbors. Could you get your other neighbor who has heard the barking dog to complain to them? Maybe if they get more complaints, they will be more inclined to do something about it.

As far as the yard goes, it is in your best interest for the yard to look its best. You may have to consider a compromise position like offer to help them for a few hours to do it themselves. That way, you have offered to help but not financially. If they do nothing, then it will be more difficult for you to sell with a weirdly half landscaped lot.

I'd just be calm and honest about both issues. Let them know that you don't want to drive them crazy by going on-and-on about their dog but that the dog is driving you crazy and it is affecting your baby. Tell them that you appreciate their efforts to reduce the noise by putting the dog in a locked room but that the noise, though less, is still ongoing and disturbing. Offer to let the dog out while you are at home if a) you would be willing to do so, and b) you think it would help your position with them. As far as the yard goes, did you discuss the yard plan back before you started to do the work? Did you all agree to some plan? If not, then you may need to work something out now. Put a price tag on what you have done. The price tag should include labor costs equivalent to hired help. You can then include your area in the overall estimate with material costs and see where you stand. Would you be willing to throw in some time or a little money to get the whole project done? You could alternatively just exclude the labor costs from the whole project and include only the material costs. Have you already paid a fair portion? A little analysis may show them that you have already done your share as far as material costs go. This combined with an offer of an afternoon of your labor may be the way to go for both fairness and neighborliness.

Good luck! I found myself in a similar position several years ago over a fence. I drummed up support for a much cheaper option and got enough volunteers to get the work done. Those opposed were angry and did not help. Now, after the work is done, they are thankful that the HOA didn't waste money on their option and also grateful for all the work that we did ourselves.

[EEinNJ]

If you have a dog, too, you know this dog is lonely and needs attention. If you are home during the day, and it sounds like you are, why don't you offer to walk their dog along with your dog? You do walk your dog, don't you?

This is a positive solution, rather than calling the cops, and you may find it makes them much easier to deal with on your other problems. If they decline, and are jerks about it, then call animal control.

[dmontngrey]

I HAVE a beagle and I live in a townhouse condo too. They can be really difficult dogs and suffer from horrible separation anxiety! We got our beagle at 9 months and we were told she was crate trained. The first we knew of a problem was when the condo association sent us a letter telling us we had to get rid of her!! Apparently she was rooing all day and slamming her crate against the wall. So you've done the first thing right - TALK to your neighbors. (Ugh, I'm still mad about that one - thank goodness they moved.)

Sorry to anyone who might disagree, but we went out and got a shocking bark collar. The problem cleared up almost immediately. They are being irresponsible owners by not addressing this and you really can't force them to do so. My only suggestion is to check into any noise ordinances they might be breaking. I wish I had more to offer on this subject since I've been on the other side of this argument.

We have since gotten a 2nd dog to deal with the separation anxiety. What a difference that made!