Do people think you are poor by your frugal ways??

[matthwwblog]

Constantly coming up with new ways to save money makes me feel poor, though now it would seem frugality is suddenly 'in'

[whitestripe]

i think a friend of mine thinks i am 'cheap' rather than poor. only because whenever we are out together, she drags me into stores to look at things (dinky and useless things that people don't use but that look 'nice' or 'cute') and she goes 'i think i might buy it' and i will ask her how much it is. it is just a reflex action, to ask how much something is, but i think she gets sick of me sometimes. because then she tells me, eg, $25 for a photo frame, or something like that, and i have this incredulous look on my face.

[Pitman]

I think people think we make more than we do.

- We own a business. We liquidated IRAs and savings to buy it in 2001, and it's become a major source of our income and assets.

- We bought a house in 1992. Modest, but we've spent a LOT of time and effort into fixing it up. Even with depressed values, it's worth 3x what we paid for it.

- We take nice vacations most years. When my DH blew out his back and had surgery in 2005, it really brought home to us that we might not be able to travel when we're older. So now we have fantastic vacations, and spend our money on travel. However, I book things 6+ months in advance, and typically get 40% discounts on the resort and airfare.

- We both drive pretty new cars (2006 and 2007). However, one is paid off, and the other has ~ $5K left on the books. We always pay a substantial downpayment, and are never upside down or have crazy payment levels.

- DH has his private pilot's license, and flies for fun with a club-owned and rented plane.

All of this is possible because of what we DON'T do.

- We don't shop recreationally. When we go to the mall, it's for a specific purchase, or for a gift. None of this "wander through the mall on Sunday for something to do."

- We don't charge things and carry a balance. We pay off the card, if we use it, from cash already in savings. If we don't have the cash in savings, we delay buying things (except cars, with which we've done small loans).

- We don't hire others to work on our house, unless it's something of a specialty (replacing a furnace, stucco repair). We've renovated a bathroom, a kitchen, and the entire upstairs of our house with very little professional assistance. We've saved TENS of thousands of dollars as a result.

- We don't treat our house equity like an ATM, unlike one of our friends (re-fi'd and cashed out 3x in the past 5 years. He's now under water).

- We don't buy low-quality. We buy quality, and then take care of it.

- We don't think that we need to have everything NOW. We've worked on furnishing one room of the house at a time, and as a result, we've been able to buy NICE furnishings, art and lighting when the time to focus on that room has come. We've been in the house 16 years, and only now does it look really nice. Other friends went out to Pottery Barn or some such store, and charged an entire house worth's of furniture on credit.

People forget all of these things when they see what we have now. But 10 years ago, they made fun of us for sleeping on a plywood bed frame, or using hand-me-down furniture.

Sandi

Thanks for posting Sandi, very inspiring.

[Goldy1]

I tend to think people "have money" if the ring on a woman's finger is large, but then my ring is not huge by all means, but modeate and almost perfect quality so size isn't everything. I tend to think people have money based on thier carreer. I met a woman who is married to a pharmacist so I assume they have no money woes, but I can't say that for sure. Besides, status can change quickly also.
WE all know up to having so much money, happiness does not increase.

[hawkster]

I beleive my neighbors do, or at the very least we have a struggle going on. I live in a pretty nice part of town and I'm driving a 10 year old car that has seen better days. Note the 10 year old car is paid for, gets 33 miles to the gallon, and gets me to and from work. Enough said.

[Justice44]

RE:Eating OUt

People think we make a lot more than we do because I have money for a laptop, we don't worry about paying our bills, we can go on the occasional weekend vacation, etc.

What they don't see is the two-room apartment that is almost unfurnished, the lack of a TV or cable, the afternoons teaching myself to cook so that we can go 30+ days at a time without eating out, one phone shared between two adults, etc.

I hate NOT eating out. However, you are doing the right thing? It could be worse, we could be starving in Africa.

[eileen1]

[QUOTE=ceejay74;223445]My view has definitely changed. Before, when I would kind of splash money (well, credit) around, I KNEW I was poor, so I should have guessed that many of the other people that spend conspicuously probably were too. And I should have realized the opposite about conspicuously frugal people, since the multimillionaire founder of my company was a notorious cheapskate in his personal life. But no, I assumed the people that cared about the details were poor, and that the people who didn't think twice about a check were well-off.

Now I know it's the exact opposite. Our most conspicuously consuming friends, who admittedly do have pretty high income, are drowning in debt and undersaving like crazy (especially considering the lifestyle they'll want to support when they retire).

I've learned this too! Ever since I read the Millionaire Next Door, I'm apt to think the BMW driver probably has a low net worth and that Toyota sitting next to me at the stoplight may well be rich

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Depends. I haven't told anyone yet but I want to stay at home with our upcoming baby. Most people cannnot financially wrap their heads around people doing this or affording this.

So even my family whose asked I am evasive saying we'll see what happens. We've run the numbers and we can afford it.

So why bother hiding? Because it seems like the only people who can afford it are people who make a ton or people who live very leanly. There isn't an in between. I think we're in the in between.

[kenyantykoon]

people think that frugal people are cheapskates and thus walk a lonely road. we will see who laughs last

[Radiance]

People just assume I have financial problems, money issues.
If I insinuate I do this things by choice they wink and assume it is an excuse because I am possibly embarrased. oh well.

LivingAlmostLarge, congratulations on your baby and on your decision to stay at home.

To me it has a lot to do with being able to afford it. I can not do it yet, but my target date is Feb 2011 when he turns 3 or sooner.
Most people think it is not financially possible, or they don't want to do it even if they could. Sadly kids are a weight for some of the members of my circle. To me, he is the light of my life!

It is doable, even for me who have no family around and I am separated.
It is just taking me more time.

Many friends just say "If it was so easy, everybody will do it" Well, I never said it would be easy, I am saying I am doing it, however difficult it is.
Some other more compationate applaude me and encourage me.
They will not do it and are not trying but know me enough to understand my unconventional priorities.

Similarly I need to prepare for when he is an adult, what will I do with myself?


To me, frugality is a path towards freedom.

[elessar78]

Ugh, yes. Especiallly my New York City friends (and my in-laws to a much lesser degree). We made a conscious choice to move to the country, to get away from the grind of being in a major east coast city and to be closer to family. And we choose to live simply, instead of pimping designer outfits and gas guzzling SUVS and premium zip codes.

The joke is on them really because we still make the same amount we did in the city but with much lower overhead.

We owe my in-laws money (via my wife before we were married) and so every expenditure over $50 comes with some commentary. It's def a lesson learned the hard way, not to borrow money from relatives.

[whitestripe]

Depends. I haven't told anyone yet but I want to stay at home with our upcoming baby. Most people cannnot financially wrap their heads around people doing this or affording this.

So even my family whose asked I am evasive saying we'll see what happens. We've run the numbers and we can afford it.

So why bother hiding? Because it seems like the only people who can afford it are people who make a ton or people who live very leanly. There isn't an in between. I think we're in the in between.

i would love to do that, and probably would not consider any other way. I do not consider day care as a way to raise (my own) child. it is fine for others if they want to and/or have to, but personally i would not do it.
if i were to fall pregnant now, we could do it, but it would be very tight. i would like to be prepared, and that means saving a fair bit in advance. we would still be insanely frugal, but luckily have friends that understand if we don't go out to movies/dinners etc.