Her Money Not Ours

[tbone]

Thanks for all the great advice. here is more info

I just finished our family budget and taking care of The grand parents has us spending an average of $1500.00 a month more than I make. The wife refuses to discuss the issue so today I have taken over all bank accounts and I have told the wife to cut up the Credit Cards or she will have to find a way to pay them off herself. Was this the right way to handle the problem? only time will tell.

[gamecock43]

$1500? Thats a huge discrepancy! You need to stop the bleeding now! Was cutting up credit cards the right thing to do? yes. But demanding it from her was a "quick fix" but not really fixing the problem. If she is not on board with this then she will start spending in secret and resent you.
You need to change her mindset, look at the long term consequences. Tough tough road to travel. Keep us updated!

[maat55]

I just finished our family budget and taking care of The grand parents has us spending an average of $1500.00 a month more than I make. The wife refuses to discuss the issue so today I have taken over all bank accounts and I have told the wife to cut up the Credit Cards or she will have to find a way to pay them off herself. Was this the right way to handle the problem? only time will tell.

Your first responsibility is to your family and future needs. When grand parents do not have the funds to provide for themselves, it is the families(Not just you) responsibility to take care of them(Where the nanny state is not).

If your wife has controll of funds that are for the provision of the grand parents and these funds are sufficient to provide their needs, then you make sure that all your funds provide for your families needs.

I would take full control of the funds in my family if my wife was not willing to discuss this. I would also want to see the CC's and cut them up myself.

I don't know that she is not protecting the money from you. I can only give advice in general.

[SacredFaerie]

I just finished our family budget and taking care of The grand parents has us spending an average of $1500.00 a month more than I make. The wife refuses to discuss the issue so today I have taken over all bank accounts and I have told the wife to cut up the Credit Cards or she will have to find a way to pay them off herself. Was this the right way to handle the problem? only time will tell.

I have to say I'm totally on board with what you did. That's HUGE. Honestly if taken care of HER grandparents was costing yall that much money I'd sit her down and discuss either a different caretaking option or her getting some kind of part-time or work at home job.

I'd take the cards and cut them up myself.

[maat55]

Also in extreme situations, closing the card accounts may be necessary. I've known wives and ex-wives or husbands alike to use cards from the numbers. Closing an account is the only sure protection.