How do you resist keeping up with the Jones's?

[Ima saver]

I agree with Disney steve! Just be happy the way you are. I am going to a party tonight. I will be the only female there that does not have on designer clothes, with their hair and nails done. I like me just the way I am!

[Ima saver]

BTW, my biggest TV is about 21 inches. Do they still make the old fashioned kind?

[myrdale]

I'll salivate over my friends houses and TOTALLY wish I had something more...

Chances are your friends are in debt up to their eye balls. Figure out a good balance between what you need, what you want, and what you can afford then go for it.

Over extending yourself just to out do someone else not a very wise thing too do. Additonally anything you have can be lost. So devote too much security of your happyness in stuff.

[skydivingchic]

I guess I'm kind of lucky this way, as I have no drive to compete with others. I constantly challenge myself to improve, but I could give a hoot where others are at. That has a happy side consequence of being able to be happy for family and friends when they accomplish stuff in their lives yet not feeling the need to keep up with anyone else. So my advice is to challenge yourself to constantly improve your situation and your life. Set goals for yourself and strive to reach them. Keep the focus on where you want to end up and forget about what others have.

[Ima saver]

I honestly don't care what anyone else has, but if they have some chocolate fudge, I hope they will share.

[rob62521]

Chances are your friends are in debt up to their eye balls. Figure out a good balance between what you need, what you want, and what you can afford then go for it.

Over extending yourself just to out do someone else not a very wise thing too do. Additonally anything you have can be lost. So devote too much security of your happyness in stuff.

Amen to this! We have a friend who is constantly talking about either what he's going to buy or what he has bought. Something doesn't really bring him any type of satisfaction unless he can brag about it and think someone else is jealous of it. A few years ago my husband traded in his car and bought a new one. A month later this friend did the same thing and bragged about the great deal he got. When I traded in my van, it only took him a month to trade in his other car and again brag about what a deal he got. I don't know if I got a great deal, but I'm thrilled with my van -- it's the nicest vehicle I've ever owned and I feel fortunate to have it. Four months ago he traded cars because he wanted a convertible and when we didn't go gaga over it, he was greatly disappointed. We were never in competition -- we buy things as we can afford them and our goal to not owe much if anything on stuff ever again. He on the other hand just keeps accumulating stuff and then complaining how he doesn't have the money -- he and his wife are 61 -- they cashed in her annuity because they needed to pay bills. If this is what one has to do to keep up with them, I think I'll be a lone wolf.

[rob62521]

I agree with Disney steve! Just be happy the way you are. I am going to a party tonight. I will be the only female there that does not have on designer clothes, with their hair and nails done. I like me just the way I am!

And I'll bet these chicks will be comparing their nails and hair and clothes to everyone else in the room instead of concentrating on what people are discussing. How incredibly shallow if they do.

[maat55]

After reading The Millionaire Next Door, I'm not sure who the Joneses are. Becoming financially independent is more important to me than what the Joneses are up to.

[Snave]

To be fair, there are Joneses who have nice things because they worked hard and saved for it. (I.e. Ima Saver with her nice house and corvettes. She does not earn big money but is very smart and worked hard with her savings while her husband works 7 days a year building houses). Not everyone is willing to work as hard as them. But instead of feeling envy, I try to look up to her example and see her as a role model.

I believe by just assuming that Joneses are broke can feed the bitterness and give out bitterness aurora.

It is better to look within inside and find what makes you happy. Also keep in mind that finances have cycles where at one time you have less money while other time you have more money. Just make the best of what you have and count your blessing.

I also truly believe if you really want something bad enough, you will find a way to get there but be patience on the timing and not give up.

I agree completely. My wife and I would probably be considered the Joneses by some. But, we have saved and saved and have the good fortune of decent income on top of it. I am more proud of what we have saved in our retirement , college funds, and other investments than anything we have bought. However, knowing that ScrimpandSave is fairly young and just starting out, I would guess her peers that are living like the Joneses are probably not saving the way they should.

[cschin4]

I have found that watching too much HGTV inflicted the KUWJ Syndrome on me! It made me constantly aware of how out of date, how much work was always needed and so forth on my home. I found that I needed to step back because I dont' and never will live in "House Beautiful". I have learned to accept my house as my home and not worry about all the decorating fads, etc.

[zetta]

One thing you can do is to consciously decide to gravitate toward people who are living a more modest lifestyle -- by comparison you will feel rich. There is a natural tendency to mentally compare yourself to the people you interact with the most, it's built into human nature. Someone who lives on $50k and hangs out with folks who live on $30k will tend to be more satisfied with their material possessions than someone who lives on $80k and hangs out with folks who live on $100k.

The other key is attitude. Early on, I saw a newspaper article where people from various income levels were asked how much they would have to earn to be very comfortable financially. Each person tended to say about twice what they currently earned -- the one earning $30k thought $60k would be set, while the one earning $5M thought $10M was the ticket. I made up my mind then and there to always be satisfied with whatever level I currently had.

[cschin4]

I hear people talk about how they will be satisfied if they just made a little more. When I tell them, no you won't they look at me in shock. I know that as my income rose, then I tended to spend a little more for a car, to buy a little better line of clothing, to eat at a little better quality restaurants, to travel and stay at a little bit nicer hotels, to buy a little bit nicer home and on and on. As your income rises, you then begin to upscale your expectations accordingly. When I first got out of college, I was quite happy living in an apt with a couple of roomies, having lawn chairs as furniture and driving some bucket of bolts. Over time, I ditched the roomies, bought a nicer car and so forth.
So, the key is really learning to enjoy what you do have.

[Like2Plan]

You have to set your own goals and milestones. You can not use someone else's as your gauge of success.

[zakity]

Well... I don't need a new vehicle, my old ones run just fine. I don't need a new tv, my old one still works. Our "stereo" is a $30 cd/radio because we just needed something to play the cd's and listen to the radio. We don't have cable because we don't need it (even when we only got four channels, those digital boxes are GREAT! There are four PBS channels!).

I don't need the latest and greatest because what I have still works. It is illogical to go out and purchase something if you have something at home that still works.

We do spend money on things though. We have four computers and we need another (five people in the household). We have highspeed internet. We go out to eat occasionally. We enjoy our computers. We enjoy going out to eat. We also enjoy not having any debt besides the house.

Just out of curiousity, I asked the guys if we had an extra thousand dollars, would they rather buy a new tv or a new computer. They all chose the computer. One even said with a look on his face like I was crazy for even asking, "the computer, all our tv's work fine".

We have an extremely simple lifestyle. It fits our family great.

[cschin4]

It is illogical to go out and purchase something if you have something at home that still works.

That would seem to be the case but it isn't! In fact, I can say I have yet to use anything until the end of its lifespan. I find that I buy things and change things out of boredom rather than because something is worn out. And, I would say that is true for the vast majority of people. In fact, it has taken me years to learn NOT to do this.