Who's in charge of this in your house?

[herm4]

Who is in charge of the finances in your house? I am in mine. My husband doesn't care to have anything to do with it. He doesn't even know how much his paycheck is every month because it is direct deposited and I'm the only one that checks the bank statements.

[Aleta]

I would think that the ones on this forum are the ones responsible for the finances on a day to day basis. The one who is the best at it should be the ones in charge, but always trying to keep the other person aware of what is going on.

[herm4]

I would think that the ones on this forum are the ones responsible for the finances on a day to day basis. The one who is the best at it should be the ones in charge, but always trying to keep the other person aware of what is going on.

My father in law reads this forum all the time. He likes to advise his wife, but doesn't really do anything. i.e. pay the bills, invest, put money into savings, do the shopping, etc....

[Aleta]

The great thing is that your FIL is involved in learning. At least he is trying to keep up. Some people like to just keep their part of interest in even if it's just on the advising side.

[Broken Arrow]

Once upon a time, I didn't mind handing all the financial matters over to my now ex-wife. However, as time steadily went by, I got more and more scared with how she was managing it. Er, but long story short, I am most definitely in charge of my money now, and I don't think I'll ever let go of control again, no matter how good someone else is.

Oops! Just realized that Aleta (below) is referencing to this post, but I've deleted much of the relevant details. I did that because I felt like I was bad-mouthing my ex and I didn't want to do that. Suffice to say, my ex is very good at managing money, but they're all what I call "debt management" skills, not "wealth management" skills. I think it's important not to confuse the two but to also learn both.

[Aleta]

Also another thought is that it is good that another person has some kind of involvement. You never know when someone's health issues causes them to mismanage money. There have been alot of stories about a family member being surprised by a person they thought was doing everything right and BROKEN ARROW talked about. People should have little meetings discussing what is happening and any new changes or challenges that they are facing.

[herm4]

Aleta, that is exactly my concern! My husband would be so lost if anything happened to me. I think I need to get him more involved.

[Aleta]

That is why it is important to have something in place and up to date explaining what bank accounts you have, their acoount numbers, balances, and even passwords if you use the internet. You can even list insurance policies, property deeds, ira's and other financial information in a form that can be stored where someone else knows where it is. Maybe you could show your hubby this information and how you did it.

Another important list is when bills are due. If someone had to takeover, they would have no clue when homeowner's insurance is due or even what account you keep it in.

[FrugalFish]

Herm, I am in the same boat as you. My DH glazes over when it comes to finances. The only time he brings up finances is to ask if we have enough for "XYZ."

It scares the heck out of me that he is perfectly happy to not have any part of that. What if something happened to me? He wouldn't know where to start despite the fact that all our financial stuff is diligently organized and easy to understand. You can lead a horse to water... and all that good stuff.

The real issue for my DH if something were to happen to me, is that he is very short sighted and would not plan well for expenses later in the month. He's the kind of guy who sees he has the money now and spends it, rather than realizing he needs it for the electric bill or whatever. This is just another reason why paying off the mortgage is a priority in our house- maybe I figure if the mortgage is paid off and retirement savings is done automatically, he won't get into much trouble if something happens to me? Wishful thinking on my part?

Maybe I should have bought a larger life insurance policy than I did- then he'd have lots of wiggle room...

[herm4]

Frugalfish, OMG, that is exactly like my husband.

[Fern]

i'm single, so that would be me.
If i ever married, i'd prefer to be in charge, or at least jointly in charge. i've been doing it for so long i don't think i could just let go of it, even with plenty of money.

[disneysteve]

Aleta, that is exactly my concern! My husband would be so lost if anything happened to me. I think I need to get him more involved.

This is a great point. I handle all the finances in our house, but a few times each year, my wife and I have a "financial date" where we sit down at the table and I go over our financial situation, assets, liabilities, investments, goals, etc. I also make sure she knows where all of the paperwork is for all of our accounts. I also maintain one 2 page master list of all account numbers with contact info, including financial assets, debts and insurance policies.

She is happy to let me handle everything as I enjoy it and do it well, but I want to make sure she's prepared in case anything ever happens to me.

[Aleta]

Jonathan Pond has a great download called LETTER OF INSTRUCTIONS. It's a good place to start at least in listing your records.

[DebbieL]

My dh and I both keep our finances separate (mostly) and both handle our own finances. We are both independent people, and both enjoy working with numbers, budgets, etc. I don't think either one of us would ever give financial control over to anyone else in our lives. We both enjoy handling our own finances (and our thinking is alike so we have common goals, just do them separately if that makes sense).

[herm4]

Disneysteve, I like the idea of a master list that you mentioned. I think that's really the most realistic way to go for us.