Renting out a room?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Okay, I've let DH's best friend move in with us a month now. He has chipped in for food (buying his own and for us), paid sublet rent, and been very clean and helpful around the house. He was supposed to move out 8/31, but the girl he was moving in with threw him over and isntead decided to buy a 1 bd condo. So his search for a 2 bd apartment is now futile. He was making a lot of compromises by renting between where they worked, etc, so it's back to the drawing board.

One of his considerations is buying a condo. He qualifies for low-income housing as a post-doc, and thus with this affordable housing, he'd be able to buy something. He is very interested in the units. They are very nice, great location, and currently being built. Sometime next year is the expected move-in date. He will have help buying from his parents loaning him the DP.

Now because of this situation, I feel that perhaps it is okay to let him live with us month to month until he finds something or buys a condo. Do you think this is a bad idea? Financially we might break even, I'm not sure. He is a very nice guy and DH refuses to kick him out period, and we haven't pushed him hard to move out. This is not a fairweather friend, he was the best man at our wedding and DH's known him for 20+ years. This guy when we bought our first condo things went haywire and he loaned us money to close the sale smoothly (we paid him back less than 24 hours later). He knows the main issue is privacy not finances.

Do you think this is a mistake? Should we push him out or let him stay? I do think he's a nice person and I do not want him just living anywhere. He does the dishes, vaccums, cleans his bathroom, and overall tries to help out. So he's not a bad person. I just wonder if we should do this longer term?

We'd probably be renting to him below market value, but he would pay 1/3 of the utilities. Plus he does help DH work on the house/yard (he has). And he helps us out with the dogs as well.

[Gruntina]

This is something you and your husband should discuss and agree on first and furthermost.

It seems this temp roommate has done his fair share (actually more competed with others) with paying and being clean. That is far more than what most roommates do so thank your lucky stars.

However... it seems you want to view this as a business type of thing?!?! I understand you do need to protect yourself and so on... but do you want to see him as a really good friend who has helped you in the past and your returning the favor since he is handling things responsibly or do you want to see him just as a roommate candidate in a business way putting friendship aside from the situation.

I guess it depends on what perspective you’re looking at. I am not sure what you mean by "breaking even"? Is this regarding finances? It seems he his paying part of a rent, paying 1/3 utilities and some food and some housework. Do you factor minimum wage for the hours that he contributes to the housework? Are you losing income or paying more than you usually do out of your pocket since he moved in?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Uh more out of pocket on food and stuff. But lack of privacy. We can't just kick him out, but this yes and no thing is bothering me. I think we should just either tell him to go or tell him to stay until he finds something suitable.

[InDebtInDC]

To give you an alternative perspective, I was the best man at my friend's wedding, and I would not think about trying to crash at his house for more than a day at most.

[LuckyRobin]

Well, if its a privacy thing and you really want to help him out, maybe you could have one night a week or one weekend day where he had an elsewhere to be. Where you and your DH could just have the house to yourselves. I think that might be a good compromise since he is behaving himself so respectfully and putting money into the household. Does he have family he could crash with one day a week? It could make a huge difference in how you feel about things.

[Fern]

I'm not sure why you're asking us, cus you keep saying what a nice guy he is and how helpful he's been so far, he was the best man, etc., so why WOULDN'Tt you let him stay? Sounds like there's nothing wrong on his end.

If he's paying something in rent and helping out and you are willing to compromise on your privacy for a time, then let him stay. Sometimes, friendship is more important than money, if that's what is gnawing at you.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Letting him stay! No privacy. Well the thing is he's gone easily every Friday night/Wednesday night and Ramadan starts he'll be gone a lot.

[Plassky]

it kinda reminds me of the movie "you me and dupree"

[mom-from-missouri]

I had a roommate before and it worked well. It was after my 1st husband left us. I liked the security of having another adult in the house. The first 2 months she paid nothing (was flat broke), but she had dinner ready for me when I got home, and was there if a kid got sick at school. If I left her money, she did the shopping and all the cleaning and laundry. I figured she more than worked it off (she even mowed). But month 3, she got her first paycheck (from the job she started in month 2). After that, she paid her share and cleaned up her own messes, but laid back on doing my cleaning and laundry.
Prior to her moving in, I had to turn down a lot of during the night overtime (I worked for a utility company). After that, I could go out if called during the night, knowing she was there with the kids.
For us--it worked out well. She was there 8 months, till she was back on her feet and bought a small house. I really missed her when she moved out.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I thought of you, me, and dupree. But he's a very nice person.