I'm Not as Frugal As I Used to Be.

[cschin4]

When I was first getting control of my finances I was very careful, would give alot of thought to every purchase etc. At times, I am sure I bordered on stingy. And, I think it is necessary to go through a time of "money awareness" to get your finances under your control and maximize your use of your money.
But, lately, I realize that spending money now is important as well. We recently took our sons to an NBA game. Pricey but great memories. And, I purchased my kids some musical instruments - piano for my daughter, drumset for my middle son and am awaiting a bass guitar for my oldest son. Some people would think that is a frivolous expense. And, it would be if I had to go into debt to pay for it. But, last weekend I had a medical emergeny, lost consciousness and wound up in the hospital. So, I can say I don't regret spending money on the things I did. Of course, I also have Life Insurance and savings in place for the future as well. I guess my point is not to go too far one way or the other. That there are valid reasons for spending money and that it is a tool to enhance your life.

[disneysteve]

We are definitely not as frugal as we once were. This is in part due to our income rising over the years, which is only natural. When we earned 55K, for example, we needed to spend differently than when we earned over 100K. Even when you look at it in percentages it is different. At 55K, if 10% went to savings, that left us $49,500 to live on (before taxes). At 100K, we could put 20% to savings and still be left with $80,000 to live on.

As far as I'm concerned, as long as all of our savings needs and goals are being met, how we spend what is left isn't all that important.

Of course, we could really rack up the savings if we kept living the same way we lived before, but we wouldn't be happy doing that. You still need to enjoy the fruits of your labor or else it isn't worth it.

[tinapbeana]

FWIW, i don't see buying your children musical instruments at all frivolous. there are studies that show kids involved in music do better in school, so getting them into music is really just another means of helping them with their education. plus, musical involvement is a great stress relief and an interesting venue to flesh out a peer group. oh, and it looks great on a college application too

from a former orchestra geek...

[Ima saver]

I think buying musical instruments is great!! My husband loves cars and I know when he semi retires, he is going to build himself a car. It might seem like a waste of money to some, but it will bring him so much enjoyment!! That is what he is working so hard for.

[kealina]

FWIW, i don't see buying your children musical instruments at all frivolous. there are studies that show kids involved in music do better in school, so getting them into music is really just another means of helping them with their education. plus, musical involvement is a great stress relief and an interesting venue to flesh out a peer group. oh, and it looks great on a college application too

from a former orchestra geek...

i agree with tina...

from a former Sociology major and band geek...

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I've decided you can't take your money with you. In-laws are millionaire who still don't like to spend money at all. Make DH feel guilty all the time, part of our arguments stem from his lack of wanting to spend money.

So I'd rather die broke (or as close to it as possible), and happy then miserable and a millionaire. Although if I were to have millions upon millions it's a different story.

[Ima saver]

I would rather die happy and RICH!! I don't want to eat cat food in my old age and that is what many have to resort to.

[disneysteve]

So I'd rather die broke (or as close to it as possible)

And that could work just fine if you happened to know in advance when you would be dying so you could plan to not outlive your money. Since my crystal ball is a little foggy, I'll keep on saving because I have no idea how much money I will need or how long it will have to last. Plus, if I do die prematurely, I want to leave plenty behind for my wife and daughter to live comfortably. So I'm with Ima. I want to die happy and rich.

[scfr]

I also have loved ones I want to make sure are well taken care of after I'm gone (most especially my DD brother) so I will take a plot in the "happy & rich" cemetary next to Ima & Steve!

[disneysteve]

I also have loved ones I want to make sure are well taken care of after I'm gone

And don't forget charitable causes. I plan to bequeath money to my synagogue, my college and maybe a couple of other places.

LivingAlmostLarge - I do get your point and agree that there needs to be a happy medium. You can't save and save and never spend because you'll be miserable. Trust me. We enjoy our money.

[Aleta]

I saw my step-father work every holiday and saved every penny he could to the degree that they rarely went on vacation. He died at 66 and was never able to enjoy it. My mother never learned about finances so she went through her money pretty quickly. She is a good person but she just became too generous with too many people.
My father-in-law saved very little and is still alive today at 87 in June. He rarely saved money and never denied himself anything and has many money problems today because of his expectations.

As Steve has so wisely said, there has to be a balance. Which is why I liked All Your Worth by Elizabeth Warren. She set priorities and after you had met your priorities, then you could spend your wants any way you want. You do have to have some fun in life, but by the same token - you have to be wise and be like an ant and work hard and store up some stuff for the future.

[JoyJoy]

I have never seen a Brink's truck following a hearst to the cemetery. Save and enjoy some of your money. Leave an inheritance for those you love; if you can't leave money...leave a wonderful memory.

[MonkeyMama]

Agreed. We used to pinch pennies because we had no choice, but now we can save a significant portion of our income and have plenty of left to enjoy. We live totally differently now - many more luxuries. But gosh even in tighter times we always allowed some enjoyment in some form, of our money.

Interestingly, my parents were probably stingy to a fault, and then a young relative died very suddenly when I was still quite young and they did a total 180. After that point I was raised with much more balance as my parents decided to enjoy life a little more (and the fact they made way more money at that point than they had in their younger years - but they would have scrimped every penny, maybe for a long time, if not for such unfortunate circumstances).

But I totally agree, if you are doing well, goals made, money to burn, who cares what you do with it?

Moderation is definitely good in everything.

[JoyJoy]

My aunt, age 91, is in stage 4 of Alzheimers. She retired 30 years ago and took only one trip and that was to visit my mom in 1988 in Michigan. My aunt has amassed a fortune, but nursing home care will eat all of that up. She never wanted to travel or spend money period after she retired and her husband passed. One has to respect her wishes. I do. I respect her wishes enough to know that I don't want to follow her same path.

I'm going to check out that book by Elizabeth Warren; thanks Aleta!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Steve and Ima, everyday now I tell my mom spend it like your going to die. Because I don't want their money it would be tainted almost to be honest. I hope they enjoy it and don't feel obligated ot leave it to us.

I also do not want to be held under a guilt trip forever like my in-laws try to do to us. We never took a penny or asked but they try and use their money as a trump card. Not appreciated.

Also because my in-laws are so cheap, I've come to realization that my husband has major issues with spending money. He makes comments about himself like "I don't deserve this," "we can't buy this because it costs xxx," "we're not millionaires,". This attitude and behavior is slowly changing, but it takes a lot of work.

Being taught that you are unworthy of money, that it is selfish, greedy, spendthrift can cause major harm. My in-laws meant well, and have saved a fortune, they are millionaires, but they have also warped their children in some ways. DH grew up with one of everything, nothing wasted, and nothing allowed. Not even food, there was a set meal and that was it. Then if they were hungry, they were allowed to go eat soup from the kitchen. My in-laws enforced minimalism to a point, where my BIL came to our house and went to town eating when I said "pour yourself juice/soda/whatever and eat whatever you want..." They were not allowed this freedom at home.

And it's because my in-laws were overly concerned all the time about MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY. The bottom line was always a dollar not spent was key.

I hate that attitude. And I plan on not outliving my money, just close to broke and I plan on havin $100k when I die. And I'm planning on living to 105. So I am thinking I won't die as broke but close to it.