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My husband and I recently converted to the envelope system and I couldnt be happier!!! I wanted to share my story for those of you who have considered it or wondered what a conversion would be like.
Ok...our background..
I came from the "my generation" school of thought where I never carry cash (I've had debit & CC's since i was 18). Im now 24 and just recently held a 100$ bill for the first time in 8-10 years i think. I've been working on on building my credit since 18 (never been late, current fico is 740..etc). I loved shopping and loved to spend so until 2 years ago (when i first found this forum) I had no savings and no financial plan. Now - I love the financial world. I read 2-3 books a week on investing, have a nice chunk of 403b & Roth started, we own our own home, and we buy individual stocks. I have banked online since 18 and feel more at home with a card than with cash (I lose cash wayyy too quickly!). I am more comfortable working with numbers as opposed to paper (greenbacks..).
Hubby (24 yrs also), however, has always dealt in cash. His first exposure to a credit card was through my putting him as an authorized user. He had never even had a checking account.
We've been together almost 2 years now and married for the past 9 months. I've learned the HARD way that you can't "force" someone over to another way of dealing with money. Since we were married (and even before, when we purchased our home) I have always dealt with the financial aspects of our relationship - and that caused a huge burden on me. Hubby just didnt seem to care! Nothing I did could get him interested in our finances - and consequently we got ourself into 10,000 credit card debt in less than 6 months.
I did all of our banking, all of our bill paying, all of our budgeting and it was taking a toll on me - very stressful!!! - and hubby never ever understood "the money game". And he never understood why I would freak out when he would spend 20$ (unplanned) a few days before our car payment was due. "Its just 20$"! to him. But to me, that 20$ was budgeted for our car payment. I tried to show him, but he just never cared to pay attention.
Finally I had had enough of the struggles.
My friend at work suggested Dave Ramsey's envelope system after I told him about my hubby having always used cash. Of course i had heard of it (having been on these boards for so long!) but I couldn't fathom trying it (hello, I don't deal with cash! i think it scared me too much). But my friend was like, "Lisa, i think you have a bigger problem here - what is worth more, your temporary and overcomeable fear of cash, or your marriage?". Of course my marriage is worth it.
I went home that night (about a month ago) and started making 8 envelopes we would need. After I told my hubby of the plan, he got EXCITED and started helping me color "bill" pictures on the envelopes (haha). I closed down all of our bank accounts except for one savings (hsbc) and one checking. The next time we got paid, I withdrew all of the money and went home to wait. When he came home he said "I want to do the money divvying" (I fell on the floor in shock). He sat there divvying up the money. When he noticed the due date on one envelope he saw it was a week past due. When he realized there wasn't enough money to go around the envelopes he sat there quietly then started tearing up. It was so heartfelt and I felt such a huge weight lift off of me - because I saw he finally "got it". NOW, it's been a month and he's all but taken over the cash handling and budgeting. I still crunch the numbers but he offers so much input now and makes decisions!
The cash envelope system worked wonders for us, our marrige, my stress level, hubby's financial knowledge, and his desire to participate in our financial well-being.
I dont think the drastic measures we took is viable for everyone - We quit plastic cold turkey! we cut up all of our cards, and closed all the bank accounts - we dont even have checks. Our one checking account is only there for fast direct deposit and bill payment (neither of us would do well if we had to mail stuff in snailmail). But if anyone has been thinking about it, I wanted to share a VERY positive story and say "yes" it can be done.
Ok...our background..
I came from the "my generation" school of thought where I never carry cash (I've had debit & CC's since i was 18). Im now 24 and just recently held a 100$ bill for the first time in 8-10 years i think. I've been working on on building my credit since 18 (never been late, current fico is 740..etc). I loved shopping and loved to spend so until 2 years ago (when i first found this forum) I had no savings and no financial plan. Now - I love the financial world. I read 2-3 books a week on investing, have a nice chunk of 403b & Roth started, we own our own home, and we buy individual stocks. I have banked online since 18 and feel more at home with a card than with cash (I lose cash wayyy too quickly!). I am more comfortable working with numbers as opposed to paper (greenbacks..).
Hubby (24 yrs also), however, has always dealt in cash. His first exposure to a credit card was through my putting him as an authorized user. He had never even had a checking account.
We've been together almost 2 years now and married for the past 9 months. I've learned the HARD way that you can't "force" someone over to another way of dealing with money. Since we were married (and even before, when we purchased our home) I have always dealt with the financial aspects of our relationship - and that caused a huge burden on me. Hubby just didnt seem to care! Nothing I did could get him interested in our finances - and consequently we got ourself into 10,000 credit card debt in less than 6 months.
I did all of our banking, all of our bill paying, all of our budgeting and it was taking a toll on me - very stressful!!! - and hubby never ever understood "the money game". And he never understood why I would freak out when he would spend 20$ (unplanned) a few days before our car payment was due. "Its just 20$"! to him. But to me, that 20$ was budgeted for our car payment. I tried to show him, but he just never cared to pay attention.
Finally I had had enough of the struggles.
My friend at work suggested Dave Ramsey's envelope system after I told him about my hubby having always used cash. Of course i had heard of it (having been on these boards for so long!) but I couldn't fathom trying it (hello, I don't deal with cash! i think it scared me too much). But my friend was like, "Lisa, i think you have a bigger problem here - what is worth more, your temporary and overcomeable fear of cash, or your marriage?". Of course my marriage is worth it.
I went home that night (about a month ago) and started making 8 envelopes we would need. After I told my hubby of the plan, he got EXCITED and started helping me color "bill" pictures on the envelopes (haha). I closed down all of our bank accounts except for one savings (hsbc) and one checking. The next time we got paid, I withdrew all of the money and went home to wait. When he came home he said "I want to do the money divvying" (I fell on the floor in shock). He sat there divvying up the money. When he noticed the due date on one envelope he saw it was a week past due. When he realized there wasn't enough money to go around the envelopes he sat there quietly then started tearing up. It was so heartfelt and I felt such a huge weight lift off of me - because I saw he finally "got it". NOW, it's been a month and he's all but taken over the cash handling and budgeting. I still crunch the numbers but he offers so much input now and makes decisions!
The cash envelope system worked wonders for us, our marrige, my stress level, hubby's financial knowledge, and his desire to participate in our financial well-being.
I dont think the drastic measures we took is viable for everyone - We quit plastic cold turkey! we cut up all of our cards, and closed all the bank accounts - we dont even have checks. Our one checking account is only there for fast direct deposit and bill payment (neither of us would do well if we had to mail stuff in snailmail). But if anyone has been thinking about it, I wanted to share a VERY positive story and say "yes" it can be done.
silly me.
We'd never get anything in on time we had to remember to do that...haha. We pay everything electronically still - we just make the deposit in the bank the day before the withdrawal is coming out. We have very specific dates 6-7 times a month when everything is paid. The only thing we pay cash for is utilities and my husband does that in person. That way my hubby gets the benefit of "seeing" the cold hard cash accumulate in the envelopes (which he loves) and I still get to do somethings electronically (bill payment!) which i love. So it works for us!
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