Choosing Children

[TBH]

Our son was a surprise. I always wanted 1 kid. My partner was still making up his mind when we got pregnant. I would have liked to have bought a house and built up more of a cash cushion before having a child. I was very anxious about money when I was pregnant, and the first year was hard (we bought and renovated an old house, I changed jobs, etc). But now our son is 3 and we're in pretty good financial shape.

I'm still on the fence about whether I want another one. Money is certainly a factor (I'd want to wait til the first one was in kindergarten because daycare X2 makes me hyperventilate). But like another person said, if we both wanted a second child for sure, we'd find a way to make it work. As it is, my partner is happy with one, and I'm happy with one most of the time.

I was almost 27 when my son was born, and his dad was 40.

[fairy74]

Baby fund? I'm not sure what you mean.

DH and I are saving up in a special fund for baby expenses (my copay for delivery, first year expenses, etc...) we set our fund at $8,500.

[zetta]

Did you plan for your child(ren) or did it just happen? How did you handle the financial aspect of having kids? Was it hard to plan for, or was there no planning involved?

Ours are planned. We met at age 28, got married almost exactly 2 years later at age 30, waited a year, then bought a house and threw away the birth control pills the day we moved in. What was not planned was the difficulty we had in getting pregnant, so it was a 3 year wait until DS finally arrived just before I turned 35. The only major financial planning was to take a 10-year fixed ARM instead of a 30-year fixed mortgage to lower our house payment so that I could stay home. And to buy 2 new cars while we were still on 2 incomes, with the intention of driving them for many years.

How many children do you have? Did finances play a role in the number of children you've chosen to have? Or is it playing a role in delaying or postpoing kids? Or delaying the time before kids?

We're hoping for a second one. In theory the earlier problems are now fixed so we hopefully won't need to pay for infertility treatments. At one time we thought we might like to have 3, but I want to eventually resume my career and right now that just seems like too long of a stretch at home. Plus we'd want a bigger house with 3.

Were there financial goals that you wanted to meet before you had kids?

The goals were to be happily married and financially sound. Not sure what I'd do if I had a ticking clock and hadn't met those two goals -- many people seem to manage despite not having the ideal situation.

[disneysteve]

We've got one daughter. She was planned. In fact, we needed a little medical assistance to create her.

Preplanning? We waited until:

1. We were married.
2. We owned a home.
3. I was finished school and in a stable job that allowed my wife to quit working. We agreed early on that she would be a SAHM.

Beyond that, I don't recall there being a great deal of financial thought or planning but it was over 12 years ago when she got pregnant so I could be forgetting something.

[simpleyme]

am i the only one with an unplanned child? LOL well not truly unplanned as we were well aware it could happen and were not unhappy that it did ;-)

we had our first child when we were young and poor but we always supported him ourselves and got by just fine,he does not even remember the poor years and it probably saved us a ton of money

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Cool, seems a wide spectrum and everyone who says it's "unplanned" says not really. I have one friend who says blatantly hers was "unplanned and untimed."

I wonder if i'm thinking too much.

[boefixepa]

This has been a most iteresting thread. As I don't yet have children I can't contribute much, but thanks to those that did. I know we are planning on children, but how it will all turn out we will see......

As for that 'baby fund' the envelope is already created and hopefully it will full enough to cover all the delivery charges and initally baby purchases......becuase we've already decided I will be a SAHM once the baby is born....so better rat hole that money now.

We will see....you know what they about the best laid plans.....

[MoneyTard]

If I had planned my entire adult life, I would have had my kids at 25. not 30 and 34. It would have gotten me thinking about money sooner and I'ld have had waaay more saved than I do.

[zakity]

None of mine were planned. We only wanted one child. We got pregnant a year before we were "planning" and had one boy. Then, we oopsed and had fraternal twin boys.

[Diolla]

Planned? Wanted yes but planned I would have to say no. It took almost 10 years and 2 miscarriages for us to have my DS. The year we had him was probably the most financially difficult one of our lives. Never occurred to me then to plan any financial stuff, we just lived off what we made (and sometimes a little more) and made do.

I only had the one not because I didn't want more but because I never got pregnant again after he was born. It was a hard (on me) delivery and I am not sure I would have survived a second so perhaps it was for the best.

I just recently, since my divorce, started planning things like savings and retirement before I just let things happen as they happened. When I had money I spent it and when I didn't I didn't.

I am curious how old you all were when you had yours. I was 28 and turned 29 two weeks after he was born and I am easily the oldest mother in his peer group. It actually embarrasses him sometimes, although he says I don't act older than his friends moms.

[fairy74]

I will be 32.5 when the baby is born in July

[boefixepa]

I am just getting married and we are going to try and plan our first baby to be born about a year after we are married about May 2008...at that time I will be 32, and we want to have 3-4 kids, (but we are taking it one by one.) So if we do that I figure I will be close to 40 when having the last one. I'm going to be an old mom!! My mom had 5 kids by the time she was 28! My sister was with her 3 by 25 and my brother is done with his 5 at 29! But I don't regreat waiting for the right guy at all!!!!!!

[LivingAlmostLarge]

27 and no kids, but maybe by 30 and 33.

[tinapbeana]

29, no kids, currently not hoping to have any...

my mom had both of hers by the time she was 21. since my sister and i both went to a residential magnet school at age 16, my parents were 37 and 38 and there kids were grown and out of the house... hard in the beginning but has it's perks in the long run!

[PrincessPerky]

I was 23 when my first was born. I seem to be younger than his peers parents -though I never asked their age. But then iagain n many ways I am still just a tall kid