Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

[Marcymox]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

I think it's interesting that alot of people who have small children plan to go back to work full time after the child reaches elementary school age. It seems many plan to return to full time careers.- which, is an admirable goal, but for some reason, it often seems HARDER to maintain a career with older kids. These are some questions I asked myself before deciding if I was going to go back to work after the kids started going to school all day.

what do you do with them after school and before school? do you pay before and after school care?? ours runs about 180.00 a month per child to watch them before school starting at 6 and after until 6- this is at the school in the cafeteria.
or, you may have to pay a daycare center to use thier vans, and you take your child there before school, they take the kid to school in thier van, pick them up from school, and you pick them up form the daycare center. cost- about 250.00 a month.

who will watch your child on school holidays?? my kids get Columbus day off, but most places of business don't observe the holiday, except banks. who will watch your kids on teacher inservice days? early release days( these occur monthly here) snow days, or sick days?? who will watch your kids for fall break, christmas break, spring break or testing break? what about summer break?? What if they miss the school bus? who will help them get home? what if they want to do after school sports or girl scouts? how will they get there, where will they go afterwards?

I calculated in any given month my kids could be off of school, or released early an average early 4 days minimum. would I be able to take that much vacation time from my job?? what if they got sick and I had to take several days off. This of course does not account for the other things I would be missing like the talent show, student of the month assemblies, mother daughter tea, field trips, and every other thing parents are invited to in the middle of the day at the schools.

I realized a huge portion of my check would STILL be going to daycare, even when the kids are in school all day, because , unless you actually work at the school your schedule isn't going to match up perfectly to the kids bell schedule.

Only recently can I yet again consider working. The kids are in middle school and are old enough to come home from school, let themselves in, and stay home alone for a few hours. so unless you are making a large amount of money, even going back to work with elelmentary age kids can be a pain.

[JanH]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

Maybe people could work things out with their jobs. My mom worked it out with her bosses and only worked the hours between 9 and 3. She is such a hard worker, she probably did as much in that time period than if she had worked 8-5. She was an office manager/bookkeeper for a small town tire dealership. I am not for sure what she did the summers before I started working for her. But I took her place in the summer for two years and did basic stuff while she stayed home with my little brother. She would come up for a few hours when she needed to, to do the bigger stuff and catch up. But then I would be home. After I left home, she hired others, some working on accounting degrees in college to work summers until my brother could drive. She was always on call and always came to oversee everything. I learned a lot from her those years. wish I had applied them to my personal finances!

[Gruntina]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

I am in the process of checking out jobs in a location that is closure to my future home in hope to find something that is easier on the commute. Kind of tough since I like the job I have now. Upon reading Craig list for jobs, I could not believe how many parents are looking for an off-site nanny to work between 3pm to 6:30pm weekdays. Since they don’t get home from work until 6:30 sometimes 7pm, they wanted someone to pick up the children from school and ensure that they do their homework, maintain clean backpacks and that their room is clean and also if they have a sport practice or something after school, that they get a ride there too. I was shock a family was willing to pay 16 to 18 dollars an hour but most of them range in the $10 per hour.

Well it is a good job offer for someone looking to make extra cash.

[asmom]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

When my children were born, I took the first 6 months off because I wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. However, after that first 6 months I was more than ready to go back to work . At that point, I opted to work part-time or PRN as we call it in the nursing biz, and put the kids in daycare a couple of days a week. At least one of those days that they were in daycare was one of the days I did not go to work. After the first year, they went full-time. My kids were never sick, in fact they never had a single ear infection or serious illness. I found being a SAHM was very hard work as well as being somewhat lonely. I always needed at least one day a week of peace at home when I wasn't doing housework or fixing bottles or changing diapers. That might seem selfish but it's only being realistic. I felt better for having a day to myself.

Now that my kids are older(14 and 7) I find myself in the position of needing to be around almost as much as when they were babies. No they do not need the same hands-on care but they need a different type of supervision and care and if you are not careful, this is the age when they can get away from you. So although I currently work full-time, I have opted to work at a job with a less rigid work culture; in other words I can come in late if needed or leave early as needed or even take the day off for family obligations without flack from management. I make a little less money but it's better for all of us.

Bottom line: every family has to do what works for them. I only have 3 lives that I am responsible for.

[tabbycat31]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

I used to provide afterschool care for kids. I did it for 3 days a week and made $100 a week

[Snoopy2645]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

Well I worked for years before I quit to be a sahm so I still have some working skills left, unlike my mom & grandma did &they would admit to it my grandma said I was lucky in that aspect because she never had a career before her family..

And although demos arent the greatest at least I am out in the public & doing something with adults. I could also do these almost ft if my dh died so I do have some kind of backup in place. And I have been on both sides of the fence & both have ups & downs for you & your kids

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

I would like to re-phrase 'side' to 'chioice' --- "While reading the various responses I am sometimes suprised at who chose (would chose) to use daycare and who chose (would chose) not to."

course I spelled choice wrong...but hey I spell most things wrong!

As to what I plan to do when my kid is 5..he is 4.5 and already can read..loves to learn, Knows more on palenentology than I ever want to know. ect ect ect, I see no reason to send him away for 6 hours a day next fall just because he is of the state official age...on the other hand if I wasn't teaching him I think a mass setting may be more useful..may. depends on the mass setting, some are more detrimental than others.

As to when he can go..when he wants to go and can behave for 6 hours without me around, and if I can find a school that can teach him something (or if he knows all I feel a kid needs..then I don't mind any old safe school) I do not feel a 5 year old can go to the park alone, much less 6 hours away from mom and dad, and no I don't feel the average teacher is a good enough sub for mom, not when she/he has 29 other kids to watch..nope sorry. This is not a comment on any teaher, the best teacher in the world has better things to do than control a class of 30..like teach. I on the other hand, have notihing more important on my day than keeping my three safe, behaved, and learning......

As to socialization..my kids play with others, sometimes they play more than other kids, sometimes they play less, depends on what they think of the situation - they are more open in sunday school and my house, than in a public library, or science center..though that is changing as we go to the library more often. Also more likely to sit and stare if the others are breaking rules..throwing and hitting, screaming and such, they do not feel comfortable when other kids break rules. And they still have a 'warm up phase' But they talk more than I do even though they have two 'shy' 'loner' parents to get genetics from.

I watched my oldest when he was 2 at a park, he walked to the edge and stared, part of me railed at his shyness, hadn't I spent years facing down my shy demon, and now I passed it on to him! terrible, but I to let him be, he warmed up, and now that he has his sister with him he warms up faster...

I know many loners from public school backgrounds, many from daycare, many from homeschooling, many from home and then school, it is ok, we are people too ....IMO Let your kid be themselves,wherever they spend their day, but teach them the minimums of politness (you should say hi, even if you don't want to be there, ect).

Course as to what I will do when my three are all to old for me...err I have no idea! but I hope that I will still be teaching..and I hope it will not be a mass setting, but instead tutoring, or teaching other adults how to share the world with their kids, Or have another kid , and eventually be able to help my grand kids...help their parents have a break, and help the grandkids learn something their mom or dad may not have a huge interest in. I would much prefer someone else was around for the palentology myself!

[mccartygirl]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

Marcy - I work for a big company that has on average 5 weeks off a year for holidays and such. Thankfully, my company is very easy going when we, the working moms, need to take days off for Columbus day, sick kids, etc.

When our child starts school, someone will be home when she gets home. Dh and I are lucky that our jobs are flexible, we won't have to pay for the after school programs. I know a couple of people at work who pay for it and I can't remember how much it is. It's nice that they have that set up for parents who have to work.

[cashqueen]

Re: Anyone else Anti- Day Care? Due to costs

For working moms with kids in day care:
Would you rather stay at home? Do you think it's healthier for your kids to be in day care or at home? Do you think your kids learn different skills by going to day care? Would you prefer a day care center like the Godard School or a in-house provider or nursery? What is the average cost in your area? What are you paying?

Yes, I would rather be at home. But (unfortunately) I am the breadwinner and have all the medical benefits. DH has medical benefits but they would cost over $500/month for us and is crappy coverage. That would be over 25% of his take home pay. He has no desire to stay home all day and I wouldn't try to force him into it. I don't know about healthy/healthier but my son goes to daycare and is very healthy. I have friends who stay home with their children and they get little colds just as often as my son.

My son THRIVES at daycare and we have chosen an excellent school. He is a smart, social little being and loves playing with his friends all day. Yes, sometimes I still feel guilty that I send him there but he LOVES it and would probably miss it if I took him out. No, I don't feel the teachers are raising my child. They consult with me often about how I want them to deal with different situations and I am very involved in his care. I pay $140/week which is about 10% of my take home pay. So yes, it does pay for me to go to work and get a paycheck and good benefits. I have a very close friend that has her daughter in an in-home place that she likes a lot. I didn't feel it was the right choice for me for a variety of reasons but am not opposed to in-home care. This particular situation was not right for me.

If at some time in the future I have the ability to stay home then I will. But for right now I just do the best I can.