Same old story

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

Hi, good suggestions. As far as food intake is concerned I am low carb so the foods on the cheap food list would never work (they are cheap because they are not healthy) we eat meat, we are not picky the only requirement is that there is no processed foods...fresh meats and veggies are all we eat. No frozen or canned...there is no room for compromise on this we are health nuts. I am going to join the challenge, I have to take the time to look around this site to see what else is offered.

timetosave

[

Well, it’s not the best position to be the straw that broke the camel’s back. It seems that it’s not so much my post, as I did not know the number of people and as I asked questions to be able to offer specifics. I have not used a coupon in five years, so I wasn’t trying to say they were the answer, although some have done exceptionally well with them.

Timetosave, now that I know it’s 4 not 3 people, which was a question in my original post, I’d agree it does not sound excessive. And note I never said it was “too much” just that it could be cut. While you are focusing on paying down debt you may choose to reduce spending in other areas temporarily, such as your food bill. If you wanted, you could use grocery savings to accelerate debt pay off.

We need to know a little more about your food habits before I can offer any advice. Specifics are not helpful when they aren’t tailored. So: do you cook all 3 meals at home? Do you have any dietary restrictions in your house? Do you eat meat? If so, can you reduce or cut out? Do you use convenience food, such as Hamburger Helper or Noodle Roni or Banquet Crock Pot meals or the like? Do you do any couponing? Do you get chips or sweets or soda? Do you buy bulk foods? Do you have a large freezer?

The main question would be is this an area you are willing to try to cut, or do you feel that you are as low as you can go without sacrificing nutrition and satisfaction?

Here are some helpful articles/threads

Cheapest food

Boefixepa's challenge

How to shop

“I just can get our food bill down”
This thread seems to have the most extensive selection of a variety of tips.

If you like couponing or want to know more about it, check out Flash’s blog and the coupon section of the site.

We are rooting for you.

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

I just meant that a lot of things she said, did not make sense to me. She had a lot of money unaccounted for. She said the kids were adopted, then she said they were her husband's. She was wanting to borrow money. She said she bought very few clothes, but all the charge offs were clothing stores. I don't mean her any harm, I just didn't believe her. Sorry, I worked with a girl like that, always telling stories so people would give her money. I almost gave her all my tips one week to help her pay her bills. Then she showed me the $100 worth of portraits she had made that week, but her power was going to be turned off in 3 days!

I'm not going to put you down for your opinion, though I could. I'm not sure I really want your input here because it does not seem that you understand what you read. My son is adopted, he is autistic, our daughter is our biological child. I have a lot of money unaccounted for because I have no idea where it is being spent, I have NEVER written down what I've spent on a daily basis, this is a very first for me. I still think getting a loan to consolidate all of this will be easier for me....then I have clean credit and only one payment. I purchase very few clothes...my credit cards are not all clothing stores, the ones that are were for the last 6 years that I was a stay at home mom and that was the only way I could purchase clothing for myself and children. I have not come here to ask for money, I've never asked anybody for money...in my life...other than the bank. My power is not going to be turned off, my frig is filled with food, my children are healthy and happy. I am in debt. There is no sob story here I just finally have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to act like a grown up and start addressing my debt...on my own...if you don't like what I'm saying DON'T COME TO THIS VINE. We will be fine without you.

timetosave

[lillyb]

Re: Same old story

Wow, I've just spent the last 40 minutes reading through the whole thread, don't know how I missed it before.

Timetosave, I do hope you come back and don't give up!!

It is very scary having lots of people peek into your personal financial life. It was very brave to post that here, and a huge first step in seeking help.

I know some things sounded harsh, but it's just my opinion that most here won't bother reading through these many pages just to be mean. Most here are truly here to offer help, even if it didn't come through clear. Some also approach with tough love, which is still love. It goes for everyone, please read these posts knowing that a lot is lost in translation. (((((hugs)))))

Groceries aren't too bad, we spend $300 a month for 3 people (including toiletries, paper and cleaning goods, pet food, etc.). Sure, I can cut it down more, but we are at a comfortable level and it keeps us from revolting and going out to eat.

Can't wait for the rundown. Sometimes someone can give you a fresh perspective on things you can cut down. After I posted a budget I got lots of advice, some would work for us, some did not. But it was very helpful.

I second the Total Money Makeover book. For people that really need a step by step plan, it works. Some things don't fit everyone, but it's a good solid plan, and extremely motivational.

Am wishing the best for you, I know how hard it is waking up realizing the mess you sit in. Chin up.

[Jacklad]

Re: Same old story

I just meant that a lot of things she said, did not make sense to me. She had a lot of money unaccounted for. She said the kids were adopted, then she said they were her husband's. She was wanting to borrow money. She said she bought very few clothes, but all the charge offs were clothing stores. I don't mean her any harm, I just didn't believe her. Sorry, I worked with a girl like that, always telling stories so people would give her money. I almost gave her all my tips one week to help her pay her bills. Then she showed me the $100 worth of portraits she had made that week, but her power was going to be turned off in 3 days!

I think you may be misreading her. I just went over the entire thread, and here's how I read it:

She's married to a disabled man. They have one biological child, an 11 year old daughter. At some point, they adopted twins, one of whom died and the other who is currently 8 years old and autistic. The children are his - one biologically and the other through adoption - so there is no other parent or child support in the picture. They get a stipend of $500 per month towards the care of the autistic child, the husband gets some sort of disability pension, and she brings in a paycheck.

Now the husband - quite probably because of her history of chargeoffs and judgements - has separated himself from her finances. His pension pays the house, insurance, etc. and she has said "Our home is in my husbands name, he did not want to chance having it taken away because of my credit...he will not put it up to bail me out..." I can understand why he doesn't want to take that risk.

She stayed home with the kids initially but has been working for the last year. While home with the kids, she got herself into financial trouble - sounds like a "comfort" spender, using purchases to reward herself. Now she's working but feels overwhelmed by the accumulated debt and doesn't know where to start.

Assuming she gets her deferrment on her student loans, my advice would be for her to pay all her "for debt" income against the car this month, then bring it current next month. She needs to do this as the car is a necessity and is the easiest thing to repossess.

Then her plan should be to make the car payment and divide the remainder of her money between the three judgements. The chargeoffs will affect her credit, but won't get any worse at this point, so they can wait.

If her car payment is ~$400 per month, she would have $1100 to go against the debt. If she concentrates on the judgements she could have them paid off in just over a year. At that point, she will have to decide whether she wants to pay off the charged off amounts or leave them. The moral benefit of paying them off is obvious, but the practical benefit of leaving them unpaid is that they will fall off her credit report faster (if she decides to pay them, it will "start the clock" on reporting all over - she could try to negotiate payment for removal of the listing, but that's not a given by any means).

And that's my 2 cents.



Jackie

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

Hello, I just finished reading all the posts. I cried. Thank you for the tremendous support.

The past two days have been VERY busy at work (I work at a major univeristy and the students are coming back this week) so I've had NO time to do anything for me...

I will sit down this weekend and do the spread sheet and will try to post it either Sunday or Monday when I get back to work (dd is getting braces tomorrow).

I am in this for the longrun....I have no intention of backing out. This is not something that will just go away if I stop coming to this board, and coming to this board will help me understand quite a bit about finances.

Q. Do I start writing down all my expenses on Payday (I sent out a check dated the 24th to the car company yesterday for one full payment) that way it is already spent (I NEVER boucne checks) and I won't spend it on every little thing my dd wants or bb cards or whatever. Yes, I have an idea of where my money is going down the drain, I've just never thought about it until now. I have a baseball collection that I am selling off on Ebay and will stop (starting this upcoming payday) purchasing boxes of cards (very expensive).

I have also started loading my 'stuff on ebay'...just my treasures around my house. It breaks my heart to see some of the stuff going (family treasures) but I need to get this car payment up to date. I need to raise about 1200.00 ASAP and think the only way to do so right now is to start selling off my stuff...someone here suggested that, my first response when I wrote it was...yeah like that will happen, and then I found myself going through the house looking for stuff to sell

timetosave

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

Thank you for explaining that...boy I never thought about the person on the other side of the check and what they must have gone through...but that does not make the sting of it any better...this was a huge loss for our family, that was our 'income' for the summer...

G

I just read this thread and I think I can clear up the bad check questions.

There is a huge problem with this type of crime over the internet.

Let's say I am the bad guy. I have in my possession a check that Ima Saver wrote to me for $10 for something I sold to her door to door.

I have all of her banking information, including her signature...and I can now turn that check into as many new checks as I want.

So, I buy something off the internet and have it delivered to bogus address using a ficticious name...that i will close as soon as my 'purchase' arrives.

In the meantime, the person who sold me the item deposits my check, thinking I am Ima Saver. The check wont come back until Ima Saver realizes what has happened...which can take several weeks...In the meantime, the person who received the bogus check has paid bills and now has a big ol check that came back...and starts bouncing lots of checks...

Ima Saver also has some bounced checks to deal with...

or, I could have gotten Ima's # by stealing her mail....or maybe I stole her purse and her checkbook was in it...etc, etc..

Now, imagine that I didnt get that check from Ima...but rather a large, well known company...A trusted company who wont notice a much larger check..

This type of crime happens alot. And the person accepting the check is the one responsible for it....they are the one who is presumed (by law) to know the person who wrote the check and will be the one who takes the loss.

Ima would not be responsible for the check, as it is counterfeit. and the person who created the counterfeit is long gone...

[Homebody]

Re: Same old story

Q. Do I start writing down all my expenses on Payday (I sent out a check dated the 24th to the car company yesterday for one full payment) that way it is already spent (I NEVER boucne checks) and I won't spend it on every little thing my dd wants or bb cards or whatever. Yes, I have an idea of where my money is going down the drain, I've just never thought about it until now.

What I have been doing is writing down every little purchase in my daily planner that I keep on my desk. At the end of the day, DH gives me any receipts from what he spent.

I use Quicken, so I have not been listing regular monthly bills, but I do plan on doing a spreadsheet of those.

I am pretty much starting in the same place you are.... trying to get orgainized and do better. Sometimes my work or life keeps me from being here as often as I would like to visit.

[Ima saver]

Re: Same old story

On post #46, it said, in red, "no, the children are his" That had me confused.

[Jacklad]

Re: Same old story

On post #46, it said, in red, "no, the children are his" That had me confused.

Well, adopted kids are yours - no deposit, no return.

And it can get even more complex - hubby and I ended up with a fourth child when we rescued my sister's 16-year-old ward (reading between the lines of another post of yours, my sister is a lot like your daughter, so you can imagine the situation). Now, she's not "ours" by blood *or* adoption, but she's "ours" in the sense that I don't get any child support for her and we've taken on the responsibility. It was either that or throw her into the street, and that wasn't going to happen. A friend of ours ended up with her grandchildren when her daughter went to jail - again, no child support.

Family situations can be really complicated and ugly.

Jackie

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

Jackie THANK YOU...you win You hit the nail on the head. You also spoke to the credit cards and letting them sit there in order to let them 'drop off' my credit...I was considering this but did not want to mention it because...well...it just does not sound nice. I know they stay on my credit for seven years, the longest I have to wait for one of them to 'drop off is 3 years I think (I'll look that up and report back).

You got the family situation correct...sorry I was not this clear all...I've never put this in words before...

timetosave

[cashqueen]

Re: Same old story

Good luck, it sounds like you're ready to do this. I agree about calling Sallie Mae and asking for a repreive of some sort. I'd bet they will be willing to work with you. I'll be watching for updates. (((HUGS))) You can do this!!

[lillyb]

Re: Same old story

What helps me is to write the budget before payday. That way I know exactly where it is going. When payday gets here I write out the bills and withdraw the cash for the things needed to get us by before the next payday (like groceries, gas, blow money, etc. whatever I would need in the next payperiod). It hurts to spend the cash so I wound up spending less. Plus, when the cash was gone (I kept mine in envelopes) I was done, no more spending.

Eventually you will get a good working budget going. It took me at least 3 months to get a good working budget.

After you've paid your bills and you have cash to get you through to payday, you could then send what you have left over (paying minimums on everything) to your first target debt to be paid off. You send everything left over every month to that debt until it is paid, then you take what you used to be paying on that debt, along with what you have left over, then you attack the second debt you want to pay off. This is the debt snowball. It works! We've paid off 38k in 10 months doing this very thing I described.

To keep the credit card is up to you. Some people keep on for emergencies. I felt comfortable enough to completely rid ourselves of them and keep a small emergency fund at home in cash. Whatever works best for you.

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

Ok, guys...first decision

1st targeted debt to pay off

As I look back I see I left out a few things. I have three credit cards (VERY high interest) that are VERY low balances and I think I should pay them off and cut them up

1st one is my

Total Visa 300.00
660 Visa 350.00
First Premier 250.00

I think I should get these paid off and then move on. What do you think.

Of course the first thing (before doing this, for now I will only pay the minimum to keep them current so I can get my car payment up to date)

[Great to be Debt Free]

Re: Same old story

I just logged on again, and boy has this thread been busy! First of all, it's great to see you again, Time to Save!

Now, the challenge. What ideas do we have that can keep you from a payday loan?

Selling things on e-bay is wonderful (I'm hoping to try that too), but maybe not quick enough turn around on auctions and payments, etc. Things that aren't collectible could be sold at a garage sale (I know, they don't make a ton, but bigger, harder to ship items and everyday items and clothing do sell) -- that gives you immediate cash. I held a garage sale a couple months ago and made $225. Not a ton, but it was $225! And most of it was household stuff. Tupperware in sizes we never used, curtain rods, rope and wire and tool things hubby no longer needed. Check in your closets and storage areas. Surely you have somethings that could go this way.

As for extra income, could you proof papers for some of the students at your university? Also, invite them to your garage sale -- students are always looking for deals!

There are probably a ton of other ideas, so let's help her out everyone!

[Jacklad]

Re: Same old story

Of course the first thing (before doing this, for now I will only pay the minimum to keep them current so I can get my car payment up to date)

I'd put those right after getting the car current. As you might find it difficult to get credit for the forseeable future, *don't* close the accounts - paid up and unused, they are probably the only good entries on your credit report.

So - car payment caught up and maintained current is your first priority. Pay off those three little debts and cut up the cards second. Third, start paying off the judgements.

Then you can catch your breath and decide what to do about the chargeoffs.

Jackie