Same old story

[Ima saver]

Re: Same old story

I apologize again, you did say you used the money to pay off debt. You have convinced me never to sell anything on line, that is terrible what happened to you.

[greedy4chips]

Re: Same old story

I agree with lrjohnson's statement that you are very brave to have your financial and personal life put under a microscope!

Come up with a solid list of debts owed, min. payment, due date, date you get paycheck, and any other bills you have. List all income. Ask that any holiday gifts be money. Have a rummage sale if you haven't already.

The cell phone almost has to go if you can get out of the contract even with a $150 penalty you honestly cannot afford the extra $83/month.

What is the cost to turning in the lease vehicle? I realize this seems bad, but ask them if you can purchase a $3k vehicle and roll the loss on the lease vehicle into a new loan. You have to sell them on the possibility of you not having the ability to ever pay them their debts on it at the current monthly amt. and by accepting your offer you can swing payments on a 3k + 5-6k loss versus 26,000 lease at any payment amt per month.

I agree to with the grocery purchases. It's time to eat only at home and make it hamburger helper and potatoes with a veggy for the next year. No soda, bottled water, no bottled juice, alcohol, cigarettes, and any other non absolute necessities.

Take a picture of any credit cards and then burn the cards. Its cash only and that is the unfortunate position you are in.

I am not critizing your position, just like you're not arguing with us. I am only giving you the tough love approach you have to take with yourself and your debts.

What do you pay for the internet connection? That could go too for now unless you can validate even a $9.99/month fee. We tossed our long distance service on our phone and replaced it with a calling card from Sams Club for about 2.5 cents per min.

You have to cut to the bone and sell everything you can. When I was a kid our big shopping day for school was at Goodwill and we got 2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts. 1 pair of Kmart shoes, socks and underwear. Coats were very cheap ones too.

I survived barely. My dad still apologizes he did not spend more on us and saved less. His income is higher now than before he retired! Good for him.

The next few days are going to be tough for you to come up with a solid plan of attack. You have taken the biggest step so far and the rest will come with time and effort.

We should start a thread for you and only you to update us on your progress. Kinda like you are showing us your progress to not let us down, since it is obvious you have a few people here pulling for you!

Good luck!

[Ima saver]

Re: Same old story

I am pulling for her too!!

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

Well considering you have over $3,000 worth of clothing that has been written off in the charges listed, I would have to say you are not hurting for clothing - you probably shouldn't be needing to wear holy sweats.

I'm not sure why you are being so nasty. This debt has been accumulated over the past 6 or so years...clothing for children is very very expensive. I used the credit because I did not have cash...for the last 6 years I've been home taking care of a disabled husband and an autistic son (who was adopted that way...his twin died because his bio mom did drugs) so I did what I needed to do in order to survive and keep clothing on my children...I do not have an extensive wardrobe nor do I spend all day online shopping...I don't think I've done much online shopping in my entire life...

I do not suggest working e-bay as a second source of income for you, and I do not recommend you going shopping on-line. It would appear that you have a shopping problem, just from what I see listed, and just my opinion.

And why is this because someone else was dishonest? I do not accept checks or money orders but I do have a very small thing started up on ebay now...it is a source of more money and I have several collectables in my home that I really love... but I have to sell in order to get ahead...or just break even...what is wrong with you?

Instead of spending your time looking for things to buy, maybe you can make a game out of how much you can save and how you can get the debt paid off. So the no spend challenge and grocery forums should be important to you.

Spending my time looking for things to buy...oh my G why did I come here?

You need to learn not to spend money that you don't have, and not to feel the need to spend every cent, as in spending the over $5,000 deposited from the e-bay checks.



If you get a deferrment on the student loan, is it? then you should have enough to pay the double payments on why ever it is so high on the car this month and get caught up on that.

On the charged off items - does that mean you have to pay, just not now?

Then next month you can make regular car payments and regular payments on the judgments (what minimum payments are those)?

This is exactly why I did not want to do this...I don't understand why this person decided to attack me...I am putting an honest foot forward to get out of this mess and i get this?

[greedy4chips]

Re: Same old story

Oops I forgot 1 way to make money.

Donate plasma. You and the hubby can make $50 per week each for 2 donations per week. At least in WI that is the pay. Hope you have a donation site by you.

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

I agree with lrjohnson's statement that you are very brave to have your financial and personal life put under a microscope!

Come up with a solid list of debts owed, min. payment, due date, date you get paycheck, and any other bills you have. List all income. Ask that any holiday gifts be money. Have a rummage sale if you haven't already.

The cell phone almost has to go if you can get out of the contract even with a $150 penalty you honestly cannot afford the extra $83/month.

What is the cost to turning in the lease vehicle? I realize this seems bad, but ask them if you can purchase a $3k vehicle and roll the loss on the lease vehicle into a new loan. You have to sell them on the possibility of you not having the ability to ever pay them their debts on it at the current monthly amt. and by accepting your offer you can swing payments on a 3k + 5-6k loss versus 26,000 lease at any payment amt per month.

I agree to with the grocery purchases. It's time to eat only at home and make it hamburger helper and potatoes with a veggy for the next year. No soda, bottled water, no bottled juice, alcohol, cigarettes, and any other non absolute necessities.

Take a picture of any credit cards and then burn the cards. Its cash only and that is the unfortunate position you are in.

I am not critizing your position, just like you're not arguing with us. I am only giving you the tough love approach you have to take with yourself and your debts.

What do you pay for the internet connection? That could go too for now unless you can validate even a $9.99/month fee. We tossed our long distance service on our phone and replaced it with a calling card from Sams Club for about 2.5 cents per min.

You have to cut to the bone and sell everything you can. When I was a kid our big shopping day for school was at Goodwill and we got 2 pairs of pants and 3 shirts. 1 pair of Kmart shoes, socks and underwear. Coats were very cheap ones too.

I survived barely. My dad still apologizes he did not spend more on us and saved less. His income is higher now than before he retired! Good for him.

The next few days are going to be tough for you to come up with a solid plan of attack. You have taken the biggest step so far and the rest will come with time and effort.

We should start a thread for you and only you to update us on your progress. Kinda like you are showing us your progress to not let us down, since it is obvious you have a few people here pulling for you!

Good luck!

Wow, that was well said...hit home...I have a lot of thinking to do.

What is the cost to turning in the lease vehicle? I realize this seems bad, but ask them if you can purchase a $3k vehicle and roll the loss on the lease vehicle into a new loan. You have to sell them on the possibility of you not having the ability to ever pay them their debts on it at the current monthly amt. and by accepting your offer you can swing payments on a 3k + 5-6k loss versus 26,000 lease at any payment amt per month.
I don't really understand this...please explain.

The internet/home bills are all paid by my husband not my expenses...no need to turn the internet off. What he would save from this would not be given to me anyways...

I am in the process of selling off my collections now...I really don't have much...I wish I could sell off my debt...

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

I am sorry you think I am nasty and stupid. Again, I was just trying to understand from the debts listed. I will leave you to sort it out with the others.

Nope, never said stupid...just mean. This is hard enough

timetosave

[Homebody]

Re: Same old story

Ah now I get it....

I agree a good car is very important. Am I assuming correct that the house was your husband's before you married and the kids are not his? Do you guys keep your money separate??

Kris' advice (along with my previous post) are your best bets at this point. It is a very good place to start.

Just quit spending anything extra at this point and follow the advice. You of course will have days you "fall off the wagon". We all do, but just get back on it!

[Ima saver]

Re: Same old story

No, we are all here to help you. We just need to understand your situation a little better. It seems like you have had a run of bad luck and no help.

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

Ah now I get it....

I agree a good car is very important. Am I assuming correct that the house was your husband's before you married and the kids are not his? Do you guys keep your money separate??

No the house came after we got married and the children are his...he is just not very supportive.


Kris' advice (along with my previous post) are your best bets at this point. It is a very good place to start.

Just quit spending anything extra at this point and follow the advice. You of course will have days you "fall off the wagon". We all do, but just get back on it!

Ok, so I will cut spending to the bones and re-read the post you have mentioned...is there a way for us to keep in contact...can I on this vine when I have questions? Thanks so much everybody...today begins a new life.

timetosave

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

No, we are all here to help you. We just need to understand your situation a little better. It seems like you have had a run of bad luck and no help.

You've been very helpful...thank you all so much.

timetosave

[Homebody]

Re: Same old story

(((Time to Save))))

Some people here are very limited in the scope of their lives and their paradigm is far different from yours.

What I don't understand are responses that focus on the past. Yes she made mistakes, she knows that. Why don't we just work with what we have and go forward.

When someone states the reasons for their decisions, just accept them. Like the cell phone. She needs the cell phone, maybe you don't think she does, but Time to Save thinks she does so telling her to give it up is not helpful. How about going to prepaid cell phone like Virgin or something? Come up with some ideas that will work with her needs.

We have all made mistakes, well maybe not ALL, but I know I have and some of the posts here are so honestly rude, I wouldn't blame her if she never posted another thing.

Stop and think before you hit that submit button people. This a real live human you are dealing with.

And I will say it again, where do you people shop???? $400.00 for a family of four seems like a very decent amount to spend for food.

For you with the criticisms about food costs... let's see some menus and prices please. Just telling her she can do better is not a real big help in my opinion.


Time to Save, I hope you stay and let us know how you are doing.

[Kris10Leigh]

Re: Same old story

Here's my take on this:

When I started coming here and said I had a lot of debt, I got responses similar to the ones you are taking offense to. I had to do a lot of explaining and a lot of clarifying. It is simply because we don't know you and we don't know all the ins and outs. Since then, folks have calmed down a lot with me and I'm getting better advice that is more related to me. I think you will find the same. Please try not to take offense to some of these responses, even though I know that's hard to do. You are really reading with your heart right now. I think "taking charge" had your best interests in mind, but just maybe didn't say it the right way.

Just me being a Libra! Always playing the moderator.

[Ima saver]

Re: Same old story

Good, we need a moderator. And I understand that it is hard to cut back if you don't know how. Take food, for example. I am not much of a cook. I don't know how to make meals for four people for under a $1 . Some of you do. I am a very picky eater. When you are the sole provider and you work all day, you don't want to come home and cook large portions of food to freeze for the week. I would rather spend a little more on food, and not have a cell phone. that is just me!
Just take it one step at a time.

[timetosave]

Re: Same old story

(((Time to Save))))

Some people here are very limited in the scope of their lives and their paradigm is far different from yours.

What I don't understand are responses that focus on the past. Yes she made mistakes, she knows that. Why don't we just work with what we have and go forward.

When someone states the reasons for their decisions, just accept them. Like the cell phone. She needs the cell phone, maybe you don't think she does, but Time to Save thinks she does so telling her to give it up is not helpful. How about going to prepaid cell phone like Virgin or something? Come up with some ideas that will work with her needs.

We have all made mistakes, well maybe not ALL, but I know I have and some of the posts here are so honestly rude, I wouldn't blame her if she never posted another thing.

Stop and think before you hit that submit button people. This a real live human you are dealing with.

And I will say it again, where do you people shop???? $400.00 for a family of four seems like a very decent amount to spend for food.

For you with the criticisms about food costs... let's see some menus and prices please. Just telling her she can do better is not a real big help in my opinion.


Time to Save, I hope you stay and let us know how you are doing.

Thank you. I'm staying. I can take the punches...I just don't understand why I'm getting them. This was a huge step for me and I've taken it...the best thing about me is when I make a commitment I stick with it. Leaving right now would have wasted the time all of you have put into me on this beautiful Sunday (I bet you all have better things to do with your time) I appreciate that and won't let you down by running...I've done enough of that...lol

timetosave