Dating is too dang expensive.

[CheapsterPadawan]

So last evening, and the reason I was motivated to join this forum, my girlfriend insisted that I join her and her two roommates and their boyfriends for dinner and a movie. This is probably the absolute worst date I've ever been on.

The total for this evening I didn't enjoy:

So the date started off at the local applebees. I spent 25 dollars total after a tip for two people. I was shocked as how well I did. I was even feeling good about the date.

Dinner : $25.00

Movie Tickets for a 3d Film on a saturday: $20.00 (I was pretty shocked...) I am used to tickets costing around 4-6 dollars.

This is the part that floored me. I tacitly bought these.
Candy : $3.75 (1 box of candy) This is my biggest greivence.


So apparently going to the movies has become extremely expensive. I'm a little taken aback by this. It was bad before. Now it's horrible. I will never go to another movie again. The bottom line is, i need to learn to man up and take control of the date. What the hell can I do when my girlfriend who demands to always follow the herd (and the herd is going to spend a ****-ton.)

Is this the warning sign she can't manage money? It's been about six months and this would be one of the second times that she got to pick what we did and it went horribly.

The first time was at McCallisters, where we ordered soup and salad I paid somewhere around $18.93 for our meals.

The thing that stings is the lack of value. If I had bought lunch for us and both of us had a nice plate of food, and I had spent the same amount, it would have been worth it. I don't think I should take her out for fast-food dollar menu, but she needs to learn the value of a dollar and to make it stretch much farther.

She comes from money, and I don't. That is what's wrong as far as I see.

[Baby_nurse]

Is this post a joke?

[MoneyTips4U]

Assuming this post is not a joke (I'm not sure why it would be assumed to be a joke?), dating can be expensive, yes.

Especially for college students or young adults. Paying for an education or living on one's own is difficult when still young. Thus, dates should try to be made fun and cheap.

If you are close to your girlfriend, simply say that you were wondering if you all could go on a cheaper date.

Go to Wal-Mart, buy some ingredients to make a dinner for $10 or so, and go to someone's house and watch a movie (which can easily be rented from a RedBox for $1).

With gas involved, that is no more than $15 for a fun, relaxed date.

Many dates can be free. Pack a picnic, go on a hike. Have a board game night with friends. There are many cheap date ideas out there.

Hope I helped!

[~bs]

^

Many dates can be cheap or free, but it really depends on both parties accepting cheap/free dates. Some like to do the whole dining & movies thing. And yes movies are horribly expensive.

Family of 4 with popcorn, candy, sodas will likely run you $60 at most main theaters nowadays. So a combo dinner-movies night will likely run you over $100 pretty easily.

[disneysteve]

Movie Tickets for a 3d Film on a saturday: $20.00 (I was pretty shocked...) I am used to tickets costing around 4-6 dollars.

This is the part that floored me. I tacitly bought these.
Candy : $3.75 (1 box of candy) This is my biggest greivence.


So apparently going to the movies has become extremely expensive.

Understand that what you did was partly voluntary. You could have gone to a regular movie, not a 3D show. That would have been a lot cheaper. You could have also planned this date earlier in the day rather than Saturday night, the most expensive time.

I just looked up my local theater. Ticket prices range from $6.50 to $17.00 depending on if it is a regular show, a 3D show, or an IMAX 3D show and whether or not it is earlier in the day or at night. So 2 tickets would be between $13 and $34 which is a pretty big spread.

As for candy, that is easily avoided. We always either bring something from home or stop at a store on our way to the theater. The same candy that is $3.75 at the theater is $1.00 at CVS or WalMart or the Dollar Store. We have to pass half a dozen other stores to get to the theater anyway so it isn't even out of the way and we get a better selection too.

So don't eliminate movies or dating. Eliminate wasteful spending. If this particular girl only wants the high end stuff, then find yourself a new girl who will be happy to do lunch and the early movie with reasonably priced snacks. Or rent a movie, pop some popcorn, and enjoy time together at home.

[phantom]

I agree that going to the movies can be overly expensive. But, one or two dates in a six month period where you feel like you didn’t get your money’s worth doesn’t sound like a huge problem to me. If you said your girlfriend asked that you take her out and spend a lot of money every weekend, I would worry. But, she doesn’t sound like she’s being overly demanding, so this sounds like a workable situation. Since she comes from more money than you, I think it makes sense that she would be used to spending more than you on entertainment. But, that doesn’t mean she’s in the habit of spending more than she can afford or that she can’t work with you to come up with less expensive dating ideas.

Have you tried letting her know that you feel like you’ve failed to get a good value for the money you spent on these horrible dates? If so, how did she react? In general, how does she react to your less expensive date ideas? I think what matters is not that she wants to do expensive things, but how she feels about doing less expensive things instead.

I would consider either going Dutch occasionally or alternating who pays for dates. Perhaps she could pay for the dates that she invites you on and you could pay for the dates you invite her on? That way, you can still do expensive the things that she wants to do so long as she truly feels they’re worth spending on.

[NetSkyBlue]

If it's the group of friends that's making her want this type of outing, why not have a weekly event with a few other couples where you alternate going to each others' houses, making dinner & popcorn, and renting a movie?

[Baby_nurse]

Assuming this post is not a joke (I'm not sure why it would be assumed to be a joke?),
)

I am assuming this post to be a joke because the OP is complaining about 2 dates in 6 months, one of which cost less than $20.00. He than goes on to say he needs to "man up" and take control of the dating situation because the girlfriend obviously has no idea of what things cost because she "comes from money". If you assume there were other dates in between these 2, the girl can't be all that adverse to more frugal dating activities.

Assuming this isn't a joke, I'd tell the girl to run as fast as she can. Frugal is one thing. Flat out cheap is another. Has anyone seen the show "Extreme Cheapskates" on TLC? People peeing in bottles to avoid flushing, eating out of trash cans, washing their clothes in the shower while wearing them...

http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/extreme-cheapskates#all-videos

[disneysteve]

I am assuming this post to be a joke because the OP is complaining about 2 dates in 6 months, one of which cost less than $20.00.

Assuming this isn't a joke, I'd tell the girl to run as fast as she can.

So last evening, and the reason I was motivated to join this forum, my girlfriend insisted that I join her and her two roommates and their boyfriends for dinner and a movie. This is probably the absolute worst date I've ever been on.

Going back and rereading the OP, I do have to wonder. Other than the fact that the movie was expensive and movie candy is crazy, what made this the "absolute worst date" ever? Even if you didn't enjoy the movie or didn't like dinner, if you got to spend quality time with a girl you presumably like and other friends, what was the problem?

[SeanH]

I never take anything I read on a forum too seriously, so I'll just say that there's an interesting transition point when you discover either the value of money or the cost of the real world. I went to school in a college town where you could see an opening Saturday night film for $5, a pitcher of Bud was $3, and parking was free. As time goes by you'll continue to refine what you are willing to put up with and what makes you happy. Sometimes you just need to see someone do something differently to open your eyes to a possibility.

[disneysteve]

I never take anything I read on a forum too seriously, so I'll just say that there's an interesting transition point when you discover either the value of money or the cost of the real world. I went to school in a college town where you could see an opening Saturday night film for $5, a pitcher of Bud was $3, and parking was free. As time goes by you'll continue to refine what you are willing to put up with and what makes you happy. Sometimes you just need to see someone do something differently to open your eyes to a possibility.

Good point. "Value" is not a fixed quantity. There are things in which I find value today at age 48 that I thought were a waste 10 or 20 years go. And there are things I was perfectly happy spending money on 20 years ago that I would never waste money on today.

[sam042013]

Dating is really expensive but if both of you are being practical, it won't be expensive as you thought. The quantity never counts. It's the quality of time that you spent with each other that matters. Why not ask your girlfriend to have a date alone and tell her honestly that you don't have a lot of money to spend on your date. If she really loves you, she'll understand.

[snafu]

Cheapster, I suggest you take the lead to decide how you and friends will spend the evening. You could have several suggestions for free or low cost activities for the group. Do you know what movies are playing at Cheap Seat outlets? Buy treats at a candy store because they are better quality...no need to mention the cheaper cost. Why not try-out various ethnic restaurants with different, inexpensive dishes on the menu... some have entertainment. Go to amateur/community baseball games, support High School theatre productions, Shakespeare-in-the-Park or any summer concerts in the Bandstand. We take visiting friends and relatives to Ancient Car Rallies and Production Trade Shows just because it offers a new experience.

The point is to have fun on a date and get to know your friends in other venues.

[Tonyall]

If you think dating is expensive, wait until you get a wife!!

[shaggy]

If you think dating is expensive, wait until you get a wife!!

Or, in my case, wait until you get an ex-husband.