Dating is too dang expensive.

[Gailete]

Wow! Amazing! I haven't been to the movies in over 11 years. Didn't know they had gotten so expensive. As a woman with a purse I always brought in my own candy bought cheap. I don't think the theatre has any right to tell me I can't bring in some M&Ms to eat and insist that I eat their 4 times more expensive (and stale) M&Ms. If they don't want anyone eating anything that is a different story.

As to a cheap date, I suspect that this guy wasn't prepared financially for the total expense of the date, especially if girlfriend says give me your wallet I want some candy. Not sure if that was how it happened that way, but I don't see how else "I tacitly bought these".

People who come from money and those that don't see things in a very different perspective. Perhaps they both need different friends. Other than the money issue, I don't know why this registered as one of the worst dates, unless the friends with them were nasty people. I think he will be much simpler if he found a new girlfriend that he could say honestly to, "I only have $15 this week towards going out and what can we do or should we save it for next week when I can add more." And folks you are right, wives are much more expensive!

[Satrap]

Expensive! I dont think so. I mean, compare it to other things and its pretty much the same, unless you go on a date every night, lol.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Values really do change. I never would have paid full price for a movie let alone buy concessions 5 years ago. Now it's like wooohoo. I am going all out because it's my one movie of the year, although I may see two!

My plans are Star Trek and maybe Iron Man 3. I am going to go hog wild and have a soda, 3D, popcorn the works. I am indulging not only financially but having a relaxing day of not eating healthy too!

The last movie we saw was Batman in August and before that the Avengers. Then before that probably another blockbuster summer 2011. I can honestly say that now we have more money than time. We find it hard to have time to date with two small children, getting a sitter, spending time with them, to find time for us or doing something not kid related.

Now it's like I had dinner with my DH for the first time without kids in 8 months two weeks ago And my kids don't go to bed early and I nurse a baby that doesn't bottle feed.

[CheapsterPadawan]

I am assuming this post to be a joke because the OP is complaining about 2 dates in 6 months, one of which cost less than $20.00. He than goes on to say he needs to "man up" and take control of the dating situation because the girlfriend obviously has no idea of what things cost because she "comes from money". If you assume there were other dates in between these 2, the girl can't be all that adverse to more frugal dating activities.

Assuming this isn't a joke, I'd tell the girl to run as fast as she can. Frugal is one thing. Flat out cheap is another. Has anyone seen the show "Extreme Cheapskates" on TLC? People peeing in bottles to avoid flushing, eating out of trash cans, washing their clothes in the shower while wearing them...

No actually my income changed. But thanks for the help, maybe you could offer advice, assuming you have anything to add . Maybe I'm just trying to decide whether she liked me or the nice things I could do for her before I stopped making what I made.

NOTE: Post significantly edited by moderator to remove offensive language.

[CheapsterPadawan]

Wow! Amazing! I haven't been to the movies in over 11 years. Didn't know they had gotten so expensive. As a woman with a purse I always brought in my own candy bought cheap. I don't think the theatre has any right to tell me I can't bring in some M&Ms to eat and insist that I eat their 4 times more expensive (and stale) M&Ms. If they don't want anyone eating anything that is a different story.

As to a cheap date, I suspect that this guy wasn't prepared financially for the total expense of the date, especially if girlfriend says give me your wallet I want some candy. Not sure if that was how it happened that way, but I don't see how else "I tacitly bought these".

People who come from money and those that don't see things in a very different perspective. Perhaps they both need different friends. Other than the money issue, I don't know why this registered as one of the worst dates, unless the friends with them were nasty people. I think he will be much simpler if he found a new girlfriend that he could say honestly to, "I only have $15 this week towards going out and what can we do or should we save it for next week when I can add more." And folks you are right, wives are much more expensive!

The thing is; I know of ways to stretch that money to go on a really nice date. What this boils down to is not her wanting quality time; because we never had any during this date; I sat through a badly acted movie in 3D, and I hate to say it, but her friend's are vapid.

If you spend money, you want to have something to show for it. A memorable moment, a time of joy. Have a conversation with depth. If you are twelve years old, go to the movies, wear those godawful 3d classes with a group of friends and eat at some chain restuarant. That's fine.

Upgrade your tastes...

[Gailete]

Upgrade your tastes...

Are you referring to my tastes? Mine are just fine thank you very much. As I said I haven't been to a movie in over 11 years at this point. When my hubby and I go out we eat at a place we can afford and then spend some quality time at Barnes and Noble reading books. It is rare that we even get to go out due to our health issues, so any time out and about is a treat to us.

[Baby_nurse]

Are you referring to my tastes? Mine are just fine thank you very much. As I said I haven't been to a movie in over 11 years at this point. When my hubby and I go out we eat at a place we can afford and then spend some quality time at Barnes and Noble reading books. It is rare that we even get to go out due to our health issues, so any time out and about is a treat to us.

You haven't missed much movie wise in the last 11 years. DH and I always seem to end date night at Barnes and Nobel. It's a treat to finally be able to browse without the kids pestering us to buy everything in sight.

Off to go put the OP on my ignore list.

[Gailete]

BabyNurse, My years of nursing helped destroy my knees/body so sitting anywhere for periods of time without my feet up cause me to have 2-3+ edema. One of the great things about DVDs, you can sit with your feet up, pause for bathroom breaks, eat your own popcorn, etc. and since I'm so multi-talented read a book at the same time LOL!

[Esozh]

Go dutch?

When I met my now fiancee, I paid for the first date outright. Yes, it was expensive, but not horrible. It was a blind date set up by one of her childhood friends that I used to work with. We had talked on the phone a couple times to make sure it was worth our time - we're both dominant Type A personalities, and place a premium on our time. So, we met at the local starbucks. $10 for two drinks. Then, we went to the sushi joint down the street. Something like $35-$40 with tip. So we're up to $50. Then we went to play mini golf. Another $12. $62. Then she got called in to work, but wanted to meet later at the pool hall for drinks and to hang out and talk. That was another $40~. Oh, and did I mention that I lived 40 miles away from her? So another 3 gallons of gas - $12. So just under $120 total investment for this date.

On the second date, I told her that I there was no way I was going to be willing to pay for dates like that all the time, so that we could either go Dutch, with her paying for one date and me the next, or just split bills. It worked out well, because we ended up each having to plan dates every other week, and it kind of became a competition to see who could do the nicest date. Not nicest as far as extravagance, but most meaningful. We had to learn each others tastes, wants, likes - all of that, and then plan around that, and see how we interacted to get that done. After a few weeks, I ended up taking her skydiving - which I paid for.

Even when we moved in together, we would sit down with the bills and she would pay her half and I mine, even steven, right down the middle. Now that we're engaged, we have joint accounts, and she pays the bills out of it. We still have those budget meetings though.

The point is, we got on the same page financially on the second date, and stayed that way.

Oh - and she comes from a very well to do family, and I come from a poor farm family that I grew up with nothing to the point that we had to pay for delivery pizza with the quarters out of our change jar. It's about the girl, not the money.

[Gailete]

I grew up with nothing to the point that we had to pay for delivery pizza with the quarters out of our change jar.

Sorry but that gave me a giggle and thoughts on how life has changed. I never had 'restaurant' pizza until I went to college in 1973. My mom made homemade pizza and I still follow her dough recipe for when I make it, at this point more than 40 years later. I'm not even sure that there were many pizza places around and we certainly couldn't have afforded delivery pizza with or without delivery being paid in quarters . The restaurant pizza in college was all of us throwing in a dollar to buy one, the same way we bought Chinese food, pitching in a dollar. Since I was working my way through college, that was a real treat to get that even!

One of me first dates with my ex-husband should have been the signal to get way away from him. He took me out for pizza and then proceeded to order the pizza the way he wanted it without even asking me what I liked. Needless to say I hated most of what he had on the pizza and I could barely get through a piece. It is so much nicer when two people can discuss and come to consensus about what to order, even if it is half a pizza of what you like and half of what they like. Current hubby was just happy to have anyone to go out for pizza with him!

[TheKayla]

Have you talked to your girlfriend about your concern? If so, does she understand, or complain? Maybe she can help chip in, or pay her portion if it's her idea at least, you two have been together for awhile, it's really only fair she holds her own, at least sometimes. Or maybe she just doesn't realize it's bothersome to you. Suggest some cheaper date night ideas, having a relationship doesn't need to be expensive.

[Freddy McFrugal]

IMO, there's no real right or wrong on how much to spend. Definitely when I look at my own past, I wished I had talked things over with a woman I was dating instead of jumping to conclusions. Talking things over is part of being a couple.

[khaera]

Wow, these prices sound crazy! But anyway, why not think of alternatives. I'm a girl and believe me, as far as all girls I know is concern, we do not assess a guy with money. Just be honest, don't show off something just to prove yourself..

[5MinuteMoneyTips]

Ways to Save on Dating (with kids)

One tip I mention in my free Report: 17 Unique Ways To Save Money (+ One Bonus Tip) is on dating with kids.

The next time you are thinking about going out to eat as a family, go on a picnic instead. Head to your local grocery store and buy a pound of ham, some buns, sides and pick up some condiment packets. Grab your favorite drink and head to the local park or beach.

You’ll enjoy a nice meal with your family and save some money. The kids will go play when the meal is over and give you and your spouse some alone time in a romantic setting.

Jake