Borrowing a car?

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I think he's an honorable guy bjl584. I think it's unawareness that leads him to not fill up the tank, but I want to talk to him in a reasonable and logical fashion. No yelling, screaming, accusations. Just a nice logical, calm discussion.

I told you the STATE's rules are the points go on his driving record, not ours. It will follow him and we would exclude him from our policy. I should explain I know this personally because my DH had an accident in 2005 and it's on his record. It is in our insurance policy and I can see it explicitly. It is not tied to our car or insurance premium. It will be on his license.

Steve, I think that's why I asked. I wanted to know what others would find a reasonable amount to pay or for him to contribute to use the car. And not be unreasonable.

[disneysteve]

Steve, I think that's why I asked. I wanted to know what others would find a reasonable amount to pay or for him to contribute to use the car. And not be unreasonable.

I think he should at least replace gas used, but if I were in his place, I would lean toward being generous with that. If the car was on 3/4 when I borrowed it, I'd return it full. If, however, it was on 1/4, I probably wouldn't fill it but just put in a few gallons.

For insurance, I think he should be paying you the full amount that it costs you to add him to your policy. If, for some reason, adding him didn't increase the premium, then he should be paying you some amount appropriate to the amount of time he uses the car. As for maintenance, I think that depends on usage also.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Okay, I am going to add again, adding him on to our insurance does not change the cost of the insurance premium. He has a clean driving record and my DH does not. Therefore our insurance cannot go down. It's based on personal driving histories, not car based. If I split from my DH my insurance would be cheaper, but his more expensive.

I think I like the answer of filling up the tank somewhat.

[autoxer]

You are totally missing the point about insurance. Even though adding him doesn't raise your rates, it still raises your liability. He should pay his share of the liability.

He should pay his share of the gas. He should pay his share of the maintenance. Or you can just keep being generous and giving him a free ride.

[disneysteve]

You are totally missing the point about insurance. Even though adding him doesn't raise your rates, it still raises your liability. He should pay his share of the liability.

That and the fact that there is no reason he should get a free ride.

If he has an accident, it may not count against you for insurance purposes. That's great. Certainly not the way it works in most states. However, you would still be without your car for however long it takes to repair. If the car is totaled, you'd be the ones stuck having to buy a new car.

If he is using a car, he needs to understand that there are costs involved and he needs to pay his fair share.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

We did discuss replacement of the car. It was agreed he would replace or repair any damages.

So we should ask him to pay what of the liability insurance? It's the same price with or without him on the insurance. I don't think it's necessary for him to pay one third, he doesn't own the car.

I think of it more as a rental. He is "renting" our the car.

[disneysteve]

We did discuss replacement of the car. It was agreed he would replace or repair any damages.

So we should ask him to pay what of the liability insurance? It's the same price with or without him on the insurance. I don't think it's necessary for him to pay one third, he doesn't own the car.

I think of it more as a rental. He is "renting" our the car.

Have you ever rented a car? Check out how much they charge for insurance. It is usually upwards of $20/day. I'm not suggesting you do that, but surely he should be paying something. The fact that he doesn't own the car is irrelevant. What matters is how much he is using the car. If he is responsible for 20% of the usage, he should pay 20% of the costs. If he is responsible for 50% of the usage, he should pay 50% of the costs.

Please don't take offense at this comment, but I think you are being way, way, way too trusting. You've agreed that he would repair any damages. Do you have a legal contract to that effect or is it just a verbal agreement? What happens if he totals the car and refuses to pay? Here is a guy who is taking full advantage of your generosity and still you trust that he would do the right thing if something went wrong.

[autoxer]

So we should ask him to pay what of the liability insurance? It's the same price with or without him on the insurance. I don't think it's necessary for him to pay one third, he doesn't own the car.

Suppose the liability insurance is based on how many miles the car is driven, instead of who is driving the car. If you drive the car part time, then you should only pay for part of the insurance. Do you at least have full coverage? Collision and comprehensive?

He is also putting wear and tear on the tires, the brakes, the motor oil, and all of the other parts of the car that require maintenance. And he is depreciating the car with the miles that he puts on it.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

DS, my DH would lose his best friend of almost 25 years over the car. I think he would because he would feel abused if the guy didn't replace the value of the car.

I think he's a pretty honorable guy. Clueless and a bit slow with people skills, but honorable. He's the principal of sunday school and actually practices the no meat, no drinking, no sex before marriage convenants.

[swanson719]

Treat your car like a cab - because that's what it's being treated as. He can either fill it up and pay his share for it, or pay $40 a night to borrow it. Would be kind of like a personal "Rent-A-Car" policy.

[PrincessPerky]

So whats important to you? the friendship or the car?

once you have that decision down, do you need a bit of help with insurance or repair, or gas? If so ask for it.

Do you just want to avoid the frustration of getting in your car to find it empty of gas/ if so say something.

But don't feel you have to charge folk just cause a 'real rental' would or because folk on line thing you should. If is your car to do with as you see fit.

Are you able to cover the loss should something happen?

Cause if so, and if you aren't likely to go into a depressive rant after, why not trust him? You either do or you treat him like you don't, or you don't let him drive.

Of the three I would rather trust and pray.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

I think we're discussing it with him about also moving out finally. Yes! But that too takes tack.

[Seeker]

LAL, what would you and your DH feel if your car (with your friend in it) was totaled after some DUI driver ran a red light and smashed into your friend? And your friend had to have both legs amputated afterward? What if his work depended on his being mobile and as a result of this accident, your friend had to seek out another line of work entirely?

Life throws a whole bunch of curves at people.

Please realize the ramifications of loaning out your auto.

[LivingAlmostLarge]

Seeker good question. I don't know. Probably not as bad as if my DH was driving and his friend was in the passenger seat carpooling to work.

But then that's the chance you take carpooling right? Everytime someone steps foot in your car, then it should be that we should all ride alone.

I'm not sure. I mostly ride public transit and if something happened to me the bus driver would they feel bad?

[Seeker]

Seeker good question. I don't know. Probably not as bad as if my DH was driving and his friend was in the passenger seat carpooling to work.

But then that's the chance you take carpooling right? Everytime someone steps foot in your car, then it should be that we should all ride alone.

I'm not sure. I mostly ride public transit and if something happened to me the bus driver would they feel bad?

My point is that you'd feel guilty about loaning your car.

Certainly there's risk in everything we do.... but it's a choice we make. Same with the car. When we're handing the tool we own, it's quite different then when someone else is borrowing that tool and chaos reigns. You'd feel the guilt of timing, and beging to ask yourself the questions: "why did I lend him my car?" "What if I had waited one hour?" "What if he borrowed another person's car?" etc.

No matter how "responsible" a person is, an accident could happen with more than minor ramifications. If something affects someone for the rest of their lives, I know that I personally would feel guilty... yes, even realizing that the accident itself was out of my control.

I wouldn't loan my car to anyone else even in a dire need.

On the other hand, I have taken friends/neighbor with need into my car and driven them whereever. My responsibility, and my control -- if something happens, so be it.... but I would not feel as much guilt knowing that I was there and did whatever I could to prevent that happening.

Just my two cents.... but the above has happened to a college friend of mine while "sharing" another students car (a long while ago). The police called him on the phone, not really expecting an answer, because they thought it was him in the car, not his friend who had been rushed to the hospital. The student in question had to get another car, his insurance went up, to not speak of the mental anguish both people felt because of what happened to his friend those many years ago.