Strange situation don't know how to tackle this

[Slot101]

As long as we're not caring, then I'd suggest that you tell your friend that you don't care about the debt that is on his credit card. Tell him that the debt is his problem. He will learn a valuable lesson.

Yeah, screwing my closest friend out of 15 thousand dollars isn't quite comparable to a corporation worth 12 figures. We can get into this whole thing more but really, I didn't join for someone to explain the moral argument, I came to ask how to deal with my debt.

[Slot101]

So you are still gambling. You have got a problem and I wasn't aware that GA was a religious organization (other than acknowledging that there is a higher power) - that is just an excuse for not getting help. But then you don't want help real help to pay off the debt and that has come out loud and clear. You don't want 'moral' arguments. Sad, sad, sad. I have no help for you and even if I didn't, what is the point? You will continue to gamble, you will continue to get in debt because of it, you will continue to look for the easy ways out. In life for something like this, there is NO easy way out.

It requires you accept a higher power is the only way to get over your addiction. No, I am not giving up control to something I don't believe in.

Well, there you go. Just win at black jack and poker, then pay off your debt. Easy peasy.

How in any way is it an appropriate response to sarcastically make fun of someone in this situation?

And no, I never said I could make my money back that way nor is it even remotely feasible. I'm up all time in poker as in I've played 10 times and I'm up 300 dollars. I've made it very clear that I've lost **** loads of money playing blackjack which I've played countless thousands of hands, I'm not sure how your post isn't even remotely reflective of what I said not to mention just downright inappropriate.

[bjl584]

Yeah, screwing my closest friend out of 15 thousand dollars isn't quite comparable to a corporation worth 12 figures. We can get into this whole thing more but really, I didn't join for someone to explain the moral argument, I came to ask how to deal with my debt.

No moral argument.
The cold hard fact is that the debt is not legally yours.
If you feel an obligation to pay him back, then you need to man up and do it. Stop gambling and start grinding. Occupy all your thoughts, time, and energy to making money (the legit way) and paying back your friend. Making excuses, rationalizations, and blaming MasterCard won't accomplish that goal.

Good luck.

[Gailete]

Without a 'moral' arguement, I can't understand why screwing your friend out of $15K as opposed to trying to screw MC out of the same amount assuming they would give you a credit card that you could dump that amount on and then immediately declare bankruptcy. Somewhere inside you must have a few 'morals' left that you don't want to do this to a friend, so why do it to an entity just because they have buckets of money? Not like they did anything to you.

Your arguments make no sense at all. Just like excuses for not wanting to get help for your gambling problem. Gamblers are very good at making excuses. My dad felt it was more important than to provide for his 5 children, and more than even provide for them, he just disappeared out of our lives. I haven't seen him in 44 years and for most of them I never even knew where he was, and a lot of that involved his gambling and his selfishness that the only one that mattered was himself. At some point you have to drop the excuses, admit you have a problem, go anywhere necessary for help so that you don't find yourself lonely, 3000 miles from your family that no longer cares if you live or die. I suppose that you will have an excuse for why this won't happen to you either. But that is okay. If you want to pay off this bill, then get a job or a second one if you already have one, earn the money to pay your friend back.

[Petunia 100]

How in any way is it an appropriate response to sarcastically make fun of someone in this situation?

And no, I never said I could make my money back that way nor is it even remotely feasible. I'm up all time in poker as in I've played 10 times and I'm up 300 dollars. I've made it very clear that I've lost **** loads of money playing blackjack which I've played countless thousands of hands, I'm not sure how your post isn't even remotely reflective of what I said not to mention just downright inappropriate.

Yes, it is clear that you have gambled and lost a great deal of money you do not even have. Yet you continue gambling.

You don't have a money problem; you have an addiction problem.

Best wishes to you.

[disneysteve]

You haven't taken the most basic steps to fix your problem.

1. When you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. You are deep in debt from gambling but you continue to gamble. STOP!

2. You stated in your first post that you have no income. Fix that. Go out today and find a job. And put every penny of your income toward paying off your debt.

If you aren't willing to do both of those things, there is nothing anyone can do to help you.

[FLA]

Yeah, screwing my closest friend out of 15 thousand dollars isn't quite comparable to a corporation worth 12 figures. We can get into this whole thing more but really, I didn't join for someone to explain the moral argument, I came to ask how to deal with my debt.

You got your answer. WORK and work hard. I suggest the Dave Ramsey books for someone in your situation.

[Gailete]

I suggest the Dave Ramsey books for someone in your situation.

Unfortunately Dave Ramsey would be out of the question for him on the same argument as GA. He doesn't believe in higher powers or God apparently.

[disneysteve]

Unfortunately Dave Ramsey would be out of the question for him on the same argument as GA. He doesn't believe in higher powers or God apparently.

That's an interesting point.

I haven't actually taken the classes, but I think Financial Peace University involves the religion part more. Just reading the book and following the plan doesn't. There's nothing about God or religion in the Baby Steps. That's very different than AA/NA/GA where many of the 12 steps mention God directly.

[Gailete]

That's an interesting point.

I haven't actually taken the classes, but I think Financial Peace University involves the religion part more. Just reading the book and following the plan doesn't. There's nothing about God or religion in the Baby Steps. That's very different than AA/NA/GA where many of the 12 steps mention God directly.

I suspect with the OP problems with 'morals' just knowing that Dave Ramsey HAS a religious perspective in life, I would think turn him off.

[Slot101]

I suspect with the OP problems with 'morals' just knowing that Dave Ramsey HAS a religious perspective in life, I would think turn him off.

Please don't speak about me like you know me. I don't care if someone is religious. I just don't want to have to accept something I don't believe in my life like GA requires you to. I think that's more than fair.

I don't have a "problem" with morals, I am only saying that I came here to figure out how to get out of debt, not to be lectured, which is why I didn't disclose how the debt came about in the OP.

I don't have a moral quarrel with saddling Mastercard with 15 thousand dollars. Are all people who file bankruptcy amoral? We can have a debate about the morality of big banks and credit card companies to understand why I don't feel bad for them, but that's not really what the point of this thread is. Just because my morals lie in different places than yours doesn't mean I don't have them.

I recognize that working hard is the most respectable way to pay off your debts. But if that's the only real recommendation, why does this forum exist? Is the response the same for everyone? I'm genuinely curious.

Thank you for the recommendation of Dave Ramsay, I will take a look at it. I appreciate those who seem genuinely concerned about my issues, and I apologize if I come off rudely. Please recognize that my life is in a less than great place and it's hard to talk about for me.

[Gailete]

But if that's the only real recommendation, why does this forum exist? Is the response the same for everyone? I'm genuinely curious.

This forum is called Saving Advice, not how to go Bankrupt Advice, or how to get out of debt by sticking it to a large anonymous entity. We help people figure out how to use legitimate means to PAY off their debts and get their financial life in order. How to Save money, even if a little bit at a time. Much valuable advice is given here.

No, I don't know you, but you seem to have your head stuck into only one solution to pay off your debt and that is apparently putting it on a credit card and then declaring bankruptcy. The one big fallacy in your thinking is that you can get a credit card somehow that will let you stick $15000 cash/check that charges to the account, on it. The problem with that is MOST credit cards will not give you or allow you to take that big of a cash advance on them. My card that allows the biggest credit line of $24,500 (don't ask me how I got that kind of amount but I have excellent credit). It allows only $7400 cash credit line. Most of my cards only allow about 1/4 of the credit line to be in cash, so you would have to somehow get credit cards totaling more than $50K to be able to do a cash withdrawal of $15K to pay off your friend. You would also have to pay around 3% of the withdrawal as well for the fee so that is another $450 dollars depending on the company. Without excellent credit, I don't know how you would be able to get over $50K in credit cards, especially if you have no job or visible means of support. You may want to think about a different solution to your problem.

[Slot101]

This forum is called Saving Advice, not how to go Bankrupt Advice, or how to get out of debt by sticking it to a large anonymous entity. We help people figure out how to use legitimate means to PAY off their debts and get their financial life in order. How to Save money, even if a little bit at a time. Much valuable advice is given here.

No, I don't know you, but you seem to have your head stuck into only one solution to pay off your debt and that is apparently putting it on a credit card and then declaring bankruptcy. The one big fallacy in your thinking is that you can get a credit card somehow that will let you stick $15000 cash/check that charges to the account, on it. The problem with that is MOST credit cards will not give you or allow you to take that big of a cash advance on them. My card that allows the biggest credit line of $24,500 (don't ask me how I got that kind of amount but I have excellent credit). It allows only $7400 cash credit line. Most of my cards only allow about 1/4 of the credit line to be in cash, so you would have to somehow get credit cards totaling more than $50K to be able to do a cash withdrawal of $15K to pay off your friend. You would also have to pay around 3% of the withdrawal as well for the fee so that is another $450 dollars depending on the company. Without excellent credit, I don't know how you would be able to get over $50K in credit cards, especially if you have no job or visible means of support. You may want to think about a different solution to your problem.

Right, this is what I assumed the situation was, but I was hoping for something else. Even not filing bankruptcy I'd much prefer to have the credit in my name so I can deal with it myself. Thank you though.

[disneysteve]

I recognize that working hard is the most respectable way to pay off your debts. But if that's the only real recommendation, why does this forum exist? Is the response the same for everyone? I'm genuinely curious.

You posted that you have a ton of debt and no income. What did you expect us to say other than "get a job"?

That said, let me ask you another question. You also said, "I'm up all time on Poker and decent at that". How good are you at poker? Have you considered giving up blackjack and focusing on poker? I know a few people who do quite well playing poker. My one friend earned all of the money for his daughter's Bat Mitzvah celebration playing poker, a 5-figure amount. If you are truly good at poker (and don't just think you're good), earning 15K is definitely achievable.

What does your friend have to say about this whole situation? How does he feel about the fact that he went 15K in debt to cover your gambling losses? Has that affected the relationship? Have you spoken to him about your inability to keep up the payments?

[Slot101]

You posted that you have a ton of debt and no income. What did you expect us to say other than "get a job"?

That said, let me ask you another question. You also said, "I'm up all time on Poker and decent at that". How good are you at poker? Have you considered giving up blackjack and focusing on poker? I know a few people who do quite well playing poker. My one friend earned all of the money for his daughter's Bat Mitzvah celebration playing poker, a 5-figure amount. If you are truly good at poker (and don't just think you're good), earning 15K is definitely achievable.

What does your friend have to say about this whole situation? How does he feel about the fact that he went 15K in debt to cover your gambling losses? Has that affected the relationship? Have you spoken to him about your inability to keep up the payments?

You need a decent bankroll typically to take up poker seriously, because bad beats can run even the best of players dry.

Our relationship is fantastic and I make my payments just in lump sums, I used to work I'm in between jobs and looking for work atm.