Tweet
I just paid off $120,000 in debt!
I just paid off $120K in unsecured debt!!!
I want to share my story for two reasons. First I want to keep a personal lasting memory of what my life looked like for the past 15 years. Second, I want to share that there is more than just one way to tackle debt.
I met my wife 18 years ago; we were both in college (different schools). We ended up moving in together three years later. She continued school while I dropped out half way through an engineering program. I developed a gambling addiction while in school and used every penny I could earn, steal, or borrow from my student loans to visit the casinos. My then girlfriend knew of my issue and tried her best to ignore, and then help when it got out of control. I got a pretty good job in the restaurant industry and began my career. My gambling journey took me through some pretty bad periods of time, owed casinos thousands of dollars in unpaid markers. Maxed out tens of thousands in credit cards. I really learned how to manipulate the system. There were some good times, I bought our first home with a $60K down payment I won in Vegas shooting craps at Binnons. At the end of the day I have lost more than 7 times what I won at casinos and would not wish a gambling problem on my worse enemy.
Fast forward to three years ago, I was working at a great company earning just under 6 figures in middle restaurant management. My wife was making mid 50’s at her job... Life is good right? Nope. Life sucks. 90% of all of our earnings go straight to debt service. Just about every card, line of credit, and AMEX card is maxed out. I do not know what to do. The pain and depression of working hard only to pay back every penny to debtors really sucks. I own every bad decision, choice, and mistake. It is my entire fault. I grew up poor… very poor, but my parents who did not have much taught me to be responsible. Where did I go wrong? I reached out to my dad... He listened then shared with me a simple quote that changed the way I look at things. He said “When we start out life making bad decisions, we make excuses. When we continue to make bad decisions, we blame bad luck. And after a lifetime of bad decisions, then we blame the millionaires”
This quote stuck home with me, as I always looked at the successful with some form of distain. The banks were crooks... the CEO’s were thieves. All the while I continued to make mistake after mistake and blamed others. At this point I decided to change my life. I decided to control what I did going forward. I did not want to live in haze any longer. Here is what I did.
First thing was to sit down with my wife and tell her that I needed help with my gambling problem. She knew and was supportive of me seeing a therapist. But this time I was committed to taking the steps to change my life. We then took a personal inventory of all of our debt. With all of my debt at 20%-30% interest I needed to do something. I also took on some debt from my mother’s medical bills. This was needed and I would do it again. Once I put on paper all that was owed I was in sheer shock. I made a plan for how I could repay these debts without filing for bankruptcy. I called each credit card company and pleaded for hardship as my savings was now gone. To their credit they all worked with me to lower my rates. BOA lowered $80,000 in debt to 5% interest and Chase lowered $20,000 to 0%. All that I needed to do was make payments on time. I was thrilled. I then saw that therapist and began to look into the decision making process that caused not only the gambling but also the debt. A funny thing happened one night on the way home from a session (free by the way as the casinos pay for these sessions). I was driving home and it began to storm really bad. It was 10 degrees and ice was pouring down. The roads were like a skating rink and my car was all over the road. I thought I was gonna die. I said please don’t let me die as my car swerved all over the road. I have two kids and I want to see them grow up. I thought to myself I won’t die, I do the right thing in most cases. Or do I? I kinda made a deal with myself that going forward I would always try to do the right thing and see what happens. I had spent most of my life cheating people, scamming businesses etc. I might as well try to do the right thing and see what happens. I made it out of that storm and took a deep look into my job. I worked for a great company and was a great performer but I knew that I would never ever be able to pay off my debt quickly by working for the money I was earning. I needed to make more if I wanted my kids to have a good life and not eat mac and cheese every night. Why should they suffer for my mistakes?
I began to look for a career with a company with big upside. A risk yes, but I wanted to earn more and I knew a great deal about the industry I worked in. I approached a smaller company that was public for less than I year. I applied for a similar position that I had currently held and this company jumped at offering me a position. I was thrilled and when the time came for them to make me an offer I listened to their offer then I asked for less salary but 25,000 stock options. The initially offered me 1000 options. They looked at each other and said that they would get back to me. I left that meeting confident as I had nothing to lose. Their stock was trading at the time for less than $2.25 a share. The spoke to their legal team and offered me 20,000 options vested over 4 years. I was excited and took this new position committed to do the “right thing” in all aspects of dealing with others both personally and professionally. Fast forward to today. The company is doing very well. Our stock is selling at $60 per share and I just cashed out enough stock to pay off all of our debts, put a significant amount away in mutual funds and set up funds for our children’s education. I have not placed a bet in three years and I can not begin to share just how much this experience has humbled me and how much I have learned. We live a simple life (we do have cable) but no longer use credit cards or buy things that we can not afford. We use AMEX, but pay the entire balance each month. I think the turning point for me was taking 100% accountability for the decisions I made and their outcomes. When I began to truly own it I was able to address it. Before that I would lay blame and justify. We now have long term goals and a good shot at a future that is free of debt and filled with humility. I think that there are many ways to pay off debt, some of which do not include giving up cable and taking on a 4th job. In some cases just looking to leverage your skills and work hard in your industry can open doors. I have learned to never ever give up and always do the right thing in my dealings with others. I hope everyone struggling with debt like me and my family were will keep this in mind. You can do it!!
I want to share my story for two reasons. First I want to keep a personal lasting memory of what my life looked like for the past 15 years. Second, I want to share that there is more than just one way to tackle debt.
I met my wife 18 years ago; we were both in college (different schools). We ended up moving in together three years later. She continued school while I dropped out half way through an engineering program. I developed a gambling addiction while in school and used every penny I could earn, steal, or borrow from my student loans to visit the casinos. My then girlfriend knew of my issue and tried her best to ignore, and then help when it got out of control. I got a pretty good job in the restaurant industry and began my career. My gambling journey took me through some pretty bad periods of time, owed casinos thousands of dollars in unpaid markers. Maxed out tens of thousands in credit cards. I really learned how to manipulate the system. There were some good times, I bought our first home with a $60K down payment I won in Vegas shooting craps at Binnons. At the end of the day I have lost more than 7 times what I won at casinos and would not wish a gambling problem on my worse enemy.
Fast forward to three years ago, I was working at a great company earning just under 6 figures in middle restaurant management. My wife was making mid 50’s at her job... Life is good right? Nope. Life sucks. 90% of all of our earnings go straight to debt service. Just about every card, line of credit, and AMEX card is maxed out. I do not know what to do. The pain and depression of working hard only to pay back every penny to debtors really sucks. I own every bad decision, choice, and mistake. It is my entire fault. I grew up poor… very poor, but my parents who did not have much taught me to be responsible. Where did I go wrong? I reached out to my dad... He listened then shared with me a simple quote that changed the way I look at things. He said “When we start out life making bad decisions, we make excuses. When we continue to make bad decisions, we blame bad luck. And after a lifetime of bad decisions, then we blame the millionaires”
This quote stuck home with me, as I always looked at the successful with some form of distain. The banks were crooks... the CEO’s were thieves. All the while I continued to make mistake after mistake and blamed others. At this point I decided to change my life. I decided to control what I did going forward. I did not want to live in haze any longer. Here is what I did.
First thing was to sit down with my wife and tell her that I needed help with my gambling problem. She knew and was supportive of me seeing a therapist. But this time I was committed to taking the steps to change my life. We then took a personal inventory of all of our debt. With all of my debt at 20%-30% interest I needed to do something. I also took on some debt from my mother’s medical bills. This was needed and I would do it again. Once I put on paper all that was owed I was in sheer shock. I made a plan for how I could repay these debts without filing for bankruptcy. I called each credit card company and pleaded for hardship as my savings was now gone. To their credit they all worked with me to lower my rates. BOA lowered $80,000 in debt to 5% interest and Chase lowered $20,000 to 0%. All that I needed to do was make payments on time. I was thrilled. I then saw that therapist and began to look into the decision making process that caused not only the gambling but also the debt. A funny thing happened one night on the way home from a session (free by the way as the casinos pay for these sessions). I was driving home and it began to storm really bad. It was 10 degrees and ice was pouring down. The roads were like a skating rink and my car was all over the road. I thought I was gonna die. I said please don’t let me die as my car swerved all over the road. I have two kids and I want to see them grow up. I thought to myself I won’t die, I do the right thing in most cases. Or do I? I kinda made a deal with myself that going forward I would always try to do the right thing and see what happens. I had spent most of my life cheating people, scamming businesses etc. I might as well try to do the right thing and see what happens. I made it out of that storm and took a deep look into my job. I worked for a great company and was a great performer but I knew that I would never ever be able to pay off my debt quickly by working for the money I was earning. I needed to make more if I wanted my kids to have a good life and not eat mac and cheese every night. Why should they suffer for my mistakes?
I began to look for a career with a company with big upside. A risk yes, but I wanted to earn more and I knew a great deal about the industry I worked in. I approached a smaller company that was public for less than I year. I applied for a similar position that I had currently held and this company jumped at offering me a position. I was thrilled and when the time came for them to make me an offer I listened to their offer then I asked for less salary but 25,000 stock options. The initially offered me 1000 options. They looked at each other and said that they would get back to me. I left that meeting confident as I had nothing to lose. Their stock was trading at the time for less than $2.25 a share. The spoke to their legal team and offered me 20,000 options vested over 4 years. I was excited and took this new position committed to do the “right thing” in all aspects of dealing with others both personally and professionally. Fast forward to today. The company is doing very well. Our stock is selling at $60 per share and I just cashed out enough stock to pay off all of our debts, put a significant amount away in mutual funds and set up funds for our children’s education. I have not placed a bet in three years and I can not begin to share just how much this experience has humbled me and how much I have learned. We live a simple life (we do have cable) but no longer use credit cards or buy things that we can not afford. We use AMEX, but pay the entire balance each month. I think the turning point for me was taking 100% accountability for the decisions I made and their outcomes. When I began to truly own it I was able to address it. Before that I would lay blame and justify. We now have long term goals and a good shot at a future that is free of debt and filled with humility. I think that there are many ways to pay off debt, some of which do not include giving up cable and taking on a 4th job. In some cases just looking to leverage your skills and work hard in your industry can open doors. I have learned to never ever give up and always do the right thing in my dealings with others. I hope everyone struggling with debt like me and my family were will keep this in mind. You can do it!!
Comment