Credit card debt ugh

[pamelad]

I would first see if you can find any CC companies out there willing to give you a great rate on a balance transfer, 0% would be GREAT, on at least half, some of the companies give you a year to 18 months to pay it off. Pay to other half off. Just make sure you put as much as you can monthly to get the dept down.

[disneysteve]

4. Get her a debit card and let her demonstrate "under control."

I disagree with this one. How will a debit card let her show control? What if she goes out and uses the debit card to spend every penny in the account and then some?

She needs to be on a cash-only basis and have no access to any money beyond what you and she agree on her carrying at any given time.

[snafu]

You've had some good answers. I hope you won't take offense as I truly mean the following questions to be helpful...I think you need to answer some questions for yourself & wife.

Why does your wife need to buy $30,000. of stuff? What is missing that she is trying to fill up with shopping? How was all this merchandise coming into your home without you noticing?

Do you have a realistic budget? Can you and wife live using only cash for the next 8 months? How was your wife able to cover the payments on all the CCs? What will she contribute towards paying down that debt? If you bail her out will you have set a pattern? What will you do when DW runs up the next CC and you don't have a $40.000 inheritance?

[MaskedMarvel]

Like a lot of people have said, get rid of your debts. Second you need to maker her realize how important it is to save. What about retirement? I have a few tips on my blog to save.

Also a budget you need to be in place.

[Ima saver]

I agree with Steve, your wife does not need a debit card. I have lived my whole life without one. Use cash only. Open up a high interest paying savings account. Deposit the remaining $10,000 in that and take the money you were making in payments to add the credit cards and deposit that every month. If you are paying back 2% of the balance every month, that would mean you could add $600 to your savings every month. that is $7200 you could add to savings every year.

[Eagle]

I disagree with this one. How will a debit card let her show control? What if she goes out and uses the debit card to spend every penny in the account and then some?

She needs to be on a cash-only basis and have no access to any money beyond what you and she agree on her carrying at any given time.

+1 to this comment.

[Fishindude77]

You aren't in too bad of a situation, as you have the money to clean these debts up. Pay them off and be done with it.

I too would suggest the two of you do away with all credit cards. Get a check book to pay bills and start using cash for daily expenditures. Put yourselves on a weekly allowance using cash. Since you appear to be the responsible one, you could hang on to a debit card for things that aren't easily purchased with cash, but use it in only those instances, not as a crutch when your allowance runs out.

Writing checks and paying cash may seem old school when you see everyone else swiping cards, but it forces a certain amount of discipline. When you write a check you look at your account balance each time, balance the check book, and know right where you stand. When you use cash daily, you know that when the billfold is empty, you are done spending which forces you to think twice and be more careful.

Internet banking and credit cards are nice for those who are disciplined, but I believe the everyday use of these has somewhat "dumbed down" people on basic money management. To me, there is something very comforting about having a little stash of cash and making my purchases using cash. Cash is king !

[Randomsaver]

This is an old thread but that's the beauty of these debt threads, they're timeless!

To the OP, any update on your situation? Was the accumulation of $30K debt due to DW having tied her savings in 2008 to a Ponzi? Don't worry, we've all been affected that year.

So, did you get her a life insurance already ?

[tripods68]

Thank you all for the advice. My wife has it under control and last night cut up every card infront o fme. It's was like a bowl of confetti. Let me ask you all something. I don't wna tto touch that money. I know I have to but I want to try not too. Now..Iam not a great saver. ok but not great. Would it make sense to xfer some balances to let's say some 0%apr and pay them off slowly. Like...pay 20,000 off and xfer 10,000 to 0apr so that I can pay them off slowly and still have that money in the bank? I am just trying to not use it although i know i have to. I even tries thinking of a way to use the interest only that is earned to make a payment. Will that help?

Marc

I vote that you PAY OFF ALL your credit cards. You should be PISSED OFF for having this debt in the first place. All your doing is prolonging paying off the credit cards and by trying to transfer to into zero interest card while not solving the root caused which is continue to enable yourself to mis-behave rather than doing the right thing. You will never get out of debt, because by the you may end up spending the life insurance proceed at some point. Your Behavior need to change in order to get your finances under control. Do not use anymore credit.

Try to live within your means, in other words, use a "Budgeting Tool" to plan your monthly bills. Unless you can afford to pay CASH, just away from using any form of credit. Sorry for not being so nice here.

[bjl584]

This is an old thread but that's the beauty of these debt threads, they're timeless!

To the OP, any update on your situation? Was the accumulation of $30K debt due to DW having tied her savings in 2008 to a Ponzi? Don't worry, we've all been affected that year.

So, did you get her a life insurance already ?

I doubt that we'll be hearing from the OP. They haven't posted anything since 2008.

[Nutria]

but I found my wife's stash of credit cards and needless to say I was pissed. Ok I passed that. We have 30,000 in cc debt.

Three critical questions:

1. How the heck did you not notice $30K in spending??
2. What did she spend it on?
3. How did she make the minimum payments?

[Nutria]

Get a check book to pay bills and start using cash for daily expenditures.

It's 2015, not 1915.

Writing checks and paying cash may seem old school when you see everyone else swiping cards, but it forces a certain amount of discipline.

Hogwash.

When you write a check you look at your account balance each time, balance the check book, and know right where you stand.

Double hogwash, since it requires you to pull out a calculator and pen, and scribble down those figures, while also remembering to add in your deposits.

When you use cash daily, you know that when the billfold is empty, you are done spending which forces you to think twice and be more careful.

What's stopping you from getting more cash from the ATM

Internet banking and credit cards are nice for those who are disciplined, but I believe the everyday use of these has somewhat "dumbed down" people on basic money management.

Triple hogwash. My bank's smartphone app shows me not only the current balance, but all activity, including transactions that haven't posted yet.

Cash is king !

Sure. The king of not actually knowing what you're spending your money on.

[MotivateMe]

There have been a number of responses here as to what to do... I agree with most in paying the balances off now and being done with it. As I was once a secret spender as your wife was, my concern for you is educating her in what she has created, the trust that has been broken, and then taking steps that it will not ever happen again. My wife had me write it out on a sticky that it would not happen again..she dated it and put it up on our calendar...4 years later that note is still there, it just moves with the months. It is not just a reminder to me of what I should not do, but of the trust that I will not regain with her. She now handles all the bills and reviews all statements to prevent any type of repeat activity. I feel like a child sometimes with the monitoring but that is what I get for being dishonest. Hope that helps.