The worst has happened..need to make some money and get my affairs in order.

[maryadavies]

Now I know some of you are going to go not another kid who didn't move out but right now trying to find some options.

My mom just died of chemo complications. I'm on disability for aspburger's syndrome; my sister was also on disability. Right now we can manage the mortgage and the bills, but not much else. We're planning on getting food assistance from our church. After I get survivor's benefits from VA, we should be on shaky ground but okay..

What are some ways a down on her luck gal can do to make some money? (Remember the disability..) I've been working on selling some books and stuff on Etsy and then was going to try nerdy crocheted stuffed animals and stuff, was thinking about Fiverr..anything else I can do? I figure I need to make some mad money since I really need a new pc..

Also I've been studying money management b/c I knew this day would come. I just didn't expect it to come this soon.

[Baby_nurse]

I'm sorry about your mother. I don't care how old you are, you are never ready for it to happen.

Not to pry, but I am a little confused about you being on disability due to Asperger's Syndrome. Most people with this form of autism spectrum disorder are quite high functioning and able to hold down many types of jobs. Have you met with a career counselor to see if there is something you could do within the confines of your disability?

Have you considered selling the house? If the mortgage is going to be taking up such a significant portion of your (and your sister's) disability, then it might not be worth trying to keep the house. You also mentioned in one of your previous posts that you lived with your parents. I assume your dad is contributing to the mortgage. It sound like the 3 of you need to sit down and have an honest talk about finances.

Good luck.

[maryadavies]

We are orphans basically, our dad died before mom did. The thing is if we didn't hold onto the house, we got no choice but to move in with our gran, who is bat**** insane(undiagnosed bipolar, we think; we can't stand her. When we lived with her once, she made my sister cry pretty darned often by chewing her out, that's a um no since it will make things worse. Also gran has a bird that sis and one of my brothers are allergic to and she will fight to keep it, so that's double um no.); also my sister has enough problems that she can't climb stairs. (Mom's house is kinda on one level mostly, so it's better for her. Gran's has a LOT of stairs) So no choice there. I am helping gran out on a extreme part time basis for some "mad money" but thinking ahead here. She's 90, won't last forever.

Since I'm a psych major I've ALWAYS had trouble finding jobs in the first place; I mean to see if I can work on that with my shrink (Felt I need to get with him anyway to talk though the bereavement) Never really been able to hold down more than a part time job at best. I also need to work on driving first; there's only 2 people in the house that drive.

Luckily with me personally, the mortgage is the ONLY debt. We need to get my sister's student loans forgiven as well b/c that's trouble; I'm also going to be helping my oldest brother (I'm the oldest of them all) get his network certs and find a better job so we do NOT have to ask our church too long for food assistance. His job sucks. (Just so you know, I have 2 brothers and 1 sister living in this house; one brother is on the damn verge of a nervous breakdown right now, the other is the one with the better job, but not by much. None of us have another place to go, really..except Gran and that's the worst choice ever for our sanity.) We are also going to try to get me VA money which will also help us off the church assistance.

It's just weird we've become housemates now. If things change (someone gets married, etc) we mean to call a family meeting and discuss it again. I just want to make sure I got some spending money; I'd had to give up my disability money in the first place for "rent" which wasn't fair (I had no choice in the matter) but this time, I mean to be the captain of my destiny as much as possible. That means I need to work on the spending money problem.

Oh and before anyone asks, the other bills are covered, the brothers are pitching in what they can. This just happened really suddenly before we could get that VA survivor's benefits (Dad was the vet) so I think it could be worse.

[Joan.of.the.Arch]

Sorry for the pain you would be having with your mother's death. A messed up family situation doesn't make it any easier, I know.

No, I'm not going to say ,"not another kid!" You are an adult. Something like 30? 40? 50? you are an adult living with siblings (Are they all adults, too?) in a home that had belonged to your mother. Are you and your siblings inheriting the house? Has that been taken care of through a will and/or the court?

You were in the process of getting some kind of survivor benefits from the military after your father's death. Who was to be the benficiary? Your mother? Yourself? Were you, an adult, considered his dependent so that you have any basis for the claim? If your mother, have you been advised whether the claim can be paid to her estate? If so, would it be an amount equal to the periodic payments she would have been entitled to from the time she applied until the time she died? It is hard for me to imagine that the adult chldren of your father are entitled to survivor's benefits directly.

Is your name on the mortage? Waht portion of the household income is needed for the mortgage?

The way you explain your situation puzzles me. I don't understand what is settled or not. And thing like getting your sister's loans forgiven. How? Why? It sounds like you and your sibs are tying your lots together, cooperating, sticking together out of mutal need and aid, but have you all made a firm committment to that? Is every one of the same understanding?

[maryadavies]

Right now the mortgage is in..get this...Dad's name. It's with BoA (they bought it out) and you proly know, they're well, not very nice. We tried and tried to get the name changed after dad died without a will (And even had to have one of my brothers who has the same first name LIE to let us pay it for a little while) but to no avail. They are happy to take payments from us however, no matter who's name's on the checks. I think the payment's about 1kish, never paid attention. We'll have about $200 left from both fed disability payments once the mortgage and a few bills is paid. That's going into a emergency fund. The boys are handling the other bills; One also can buy a few staples but not enough to really feed us, hence why the church assistance for the moment. Mine is almost $1k; Sis's is about $700, not including the VA survivor's benefits, which I'm not sure how much she gets.

All the siblings are adults. As for sis, since she's also disabled(Lymphedema is the problem as well as some immunity problems); Just so you know if someone has a severe disability, you CAN get student loans forgiven if you are unemployable. I would not recommend that unless you have that problem; Sis can't work but we had trouble proving it, we'll have to get a doctor to swear to it. Believe me it's one of the FEW things that can get rid of student loans without paying.

We had a family meeting(If you don't know what that is; we all went in the living room and discussed/decided on the details and stuff) and hashed things out the day after the death; the only thing NOT settled right now is Grandma's situation. Either she will live with us or not; we'll settle that after the funeral. The brother who makes more even offered to refinance the house with the credit union me and him belong to, but it proly would not save us any money whatsoever. Tho yeah, I'd be glad to get rid of Bank of America..And yes, everyone is firmly committed to this, if anything changes (like one of us four getting married) we'll call another meeting and figure out the details again.

Mom didn't have a will either. She'd thought about it but things happened way too quickly. Luckily that means according to GA law, that everything goes to us kids(the married one is going to cede his rights, and I have a married sister that is prolly going to cede her rights, at least to house and accounts), but her bank accounts are frozen for about 6 months, which will hurt since she'd managed to save up quite a bit. Not huge (as in rich rich), but enough that once the death taxes and her med bills are taken out(Which will be automatic), it'll be a good cushion for emergency fund, tho we mean to find a way to invest that a little bit.

Oh and one more thing, the brother who makes more has a lead on a job that will pay twice as much; I'm going to help him with his resume (Sadly before I got in this mess, I got adept at that, but never got anything) and find the employment specialist in our church for some interview coaching. If that happens, that will help too, not counting on it. Better not to think a fish is caught before you even cast your line. ^_^

Also the survivor benefits were mostly for me(Would of gotten a allowance), tho I would of shared them with the family. I may be getting less from that than was the original plan since well, we need the money to stay afloat. But yes, it was because of my dad, who was disabled while he was in the army (Before he even went to Vietnam, yeah wierd and a really long story) Mom was also getting survior's benefits from both SI and VA; losing that is what has shaken up our finances.