nothing seems to work...

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

So, you could qualify for a mortgage in your current situation? Or would you have to make some changes?

And, would you be "making things worse"?

I'm not saying you should buy the house necessarly, I'm just asking you to look at your situation from a different perspective . . .one that puts you outside the situation. Sometimes it's easier to find solutions that way.

From a mortgage lending standpoint I'd be under 35% debt-to-income based on my yearly average income. That's lower than most of my clients who seem to have less trouble than I do.

As you see, I don't have that much "debt" per se outside of the cash advance loans (which don't count in DTI since they are monthly accounts that don't "have" to be renewed in a lender's eyes) So, yes I qualify.

Making things worse? Possibly, but I almost think I could make things better, especially since she's talking giving me back 10 grand at close if I do it. Which would go right to a savings account that has NO ATM CARD attached to it.

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

You've recieved alot of good advice, the hard part is doing it. You have to change what you are doing if you have any prayer of change what you get. IF you continue to do what you are doing, you will continue to get what you've got. Simple principle. Drastic situation calls for drastic measured to change the outcome quickly....which is what you need.

You can live of $50.00 a month for groceries...a few months of this would pay off one bill.
See www.hillbillhousewife.com for details...it's not easy, but don't tell it can't be done...did it.

A few months without cable and such would be hard yes...but a few months of this would pay off another bill.

I am all for not counting on the 'good' month to get to out. If it happens great, but banking on it (like you always have) is not the plan. (You will end up right back were you are....again see the fist lines of this post).

So if someone else is living off you (read sister here) and not pulling her own weight...maybe you should worry about helping yourself before helping others. Sounds like she is pulling you down with her not you pulling her up. It's hard (been there trust me), but you can't help others if you are standing in quick sand. You both just sink faster.

If you feel the best way to make more money is your current job, then work longer and harder. If you feel you are selling ice to eskimo and they are catching on, try another route. If sells is your thing, you can sell anything! Just find a product that works for the current market. It's easy to do mortages when rates are low (thus your good month a year ago), but when they go up it's harder. So find something that's hot now (sorry can't tell you what, not in sales) and sell it....just a thought.

This is hard, but it's your mind set that's going to be the hardest change...you will naturally fight it....it's human nature.....tell yourself not give up...the mental battle is the real one. Once you win that it will all fall into place. DON'T GIVE UP!

Good, motivational advice.

When I say selling ice to an eskimo, I'm meaning that I'm NOT successful at it. There IS business out there, but it seems I'm not finding it. I know guys making three times what I do who when they started looked up to me for advice. So either they're lucky, or I'm in such a rut that I have forgotten that I'm good at what I do.

[34saving]

Re: nothing seems to work...

From a mortgage lending standpoint I'd be under 35% debt-to-income based on my yearly average income. That's lower than most of my clients who seem to have less trouble than I do.

As you see, I don't have that much "debt" per se outside of the cash advance loans (which don't count in DTI since they are monthly accounts that don't "have" to be renewed in a lender's eyes) So, yes I qualify.

Making things worse? Possibly, but I almost think I could make things better, especially since she's talking giving me back 10 grand at close if I do it. Which would go right to a savings account that has NO ATM CARD attached to it.

Wow. True signs the mortgage lending industry needs reform . . . for its own good . . .

[34saving]

Re: nothing seems to work...

Have you tried: 1) Teaming up with a realtor or 2 or 12 to get their referrals. Again, it's worth paying a referral fee (just be sure not to violate any laws/regulations in the process). 2) Searching Craig's list and FSBO sites to find FSBOs then marketing to the sellers. ("My guy can finance almost anyone" gives them a better shot at selling.) You could offer to make flyers/advertise at your office. Most FSBOs will take all of the free advertising they can get, but referral fees work too. 3) Target CFDs and Lease-Option buyers. This seems to be niche that most mortgage people are ignoring (at least in this market, but I'm not where you are.) Bottom line, make a resolution to do something about this problem everyday until it's solved. Telling yourself it can't be done will only insure that it isn't.

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

I agree with Jen, but you don't seem very willing to sacrifice.



It's obvious that you can't cut enough out of one single month to get back on track, so you have to do a little at a time. A lot of us pointed out the most obvious luxury, but you just aren't willing to let it go. If you only look at it as a few bucks more, then there is probably quite a few more leaks in the budget. I'm sorry if I am harsh, but you will continue to struggle financially until you get a clear idea of needs vs. wants.

And $60 worth of BS added onto a cell phone bill isn't normal. My provider adds less than $10 worth of taxes & misc. charges. Are you going over your minutes?

I was going over my minutes to I upped my plan. These were business calls mostly BTW. But that was never more than $10 of the bill. I'll have to pull it out and show everyone the itemization.

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

Have you tried: 1) Teaming up with a realtor or 2 or 12 to get their referrals. Again, it's worth paying a referral fee (just be sure not to violate any laws/regulations in the process). 2) Searching Craig's list and FSBO sites to find FSBOs then marketing to the sellers. ("My guy can finance almost anyone" gives them a better shot at selling.) You could offer to make flyers/advertise at your office. Most FSBOs will take all of the free advertising they can get, but referral fees work too. 3) Target CFDs and Lease-Option buyers. This seems to be niche that most mortgage people are ignoring (at least in this market, but I'm not where you are.) Bottom line, make a resolution to do something about this problem everyday until it's solved. Telling yourself it can't be done will only insure that it isn't.

I try breaking the realtor force field...but even realtors I know personally don't ever send business to me. They all have their "in-house" shops and are STRONGLY encouraged to use them. I have tried the FSBO route...any info on how to approach them?

CFD/Lease purchase is something I do, but I don't know how to find those people. How do I find them??

[34saving]

Re: nothing seems to work...

I try breaking the realtor force field...but even realtors I know personally don't ever send business to me. They all have their "in-house" shops and are STRONGLY encouraged to use them. I have tried the FSBO route...any info on how to approach them?

CFD/Lease purchase is something I do, but I don't know how to find those people. How do I find them??

Short answer, I don't know, but you need to! Okay, so your realtor friends are "strongly" encouraged to use in house financing.

1) Find out the "strength" (ie kickback) and beat it.
2) Their in house shops generally can't do jack in the subprime market and they're losing potential clients all of the time because of it. If you're as good as you say you are you can qualify people that their in house shops can't. They win, you win, and nobody gets hurts feelings.

CFDs are all supposed to be recorded at the county level. In reality some are and some aren't, but it's a place to start. County property records should also indicate some absentee owners. (In MN they're classified as "non-homestead", I don't know about other places.) I've gotta think lots of absentee owners wouldn't mind selling if somebody made it easy for them. (Even if the properties were vacant or the current tenants didn't want to buy you could make some money by sending some traffic to the realtors and expecting (formally or informally) something in return.)

It will probably be harder to find L/Os, but you might want to try simple targeting marketing (I think Craig's list will let you do it for free.). Responding to people who are offering L/Os might be useful too. (Lots of people doing L/Os know others who are doing L/Os and in this day and age at least some of them would love to be bought out.)

[disneysteve]

Re: nothing seems to work...

Cash Advance Fees about $280 monthly but I haven't had a good enough commission month to break the cycle-once I pay them back, I'm short on bills and have to go back and get another one.

I don't have that much "debt" per se outside of the cash advance loans (which don't count in DTI since they are monthly accounts that don't "have" to be renewed in a lender's eyes)

I'm sorry but I just can't get past this part. You are routinely borrowing money (at sky high rates) to pay your bills but don't think you have much debt and that getting a mortgage (much more debt) wouldn't be a problem. Maybe I'm missing something but this line of thinking doesn't seem to make any sense.

You are routinely spending more than you are earning. You will never get out of the hole unless you fix that. The only two ways to do that are earn more (not so easy to do) or spend less (very easy to do). Several posters have pointed out places for you to trim your spending. I'm not sure what other type of advice you are looking for.

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

I'm sorry but I just can't get past this part. You are routinely borrowing money (at sky high rates) to pay your bills but don't think you have much debt and that getting a mortgage (much more debt) wouldn't be a problem. Maybe I'm missing something but this line of thinking doesn't seem to make any sense.

You are routinely spending more than you are earning. You will never get out of the hole unless you fix that. The only two ways to do that are earn more (not so easy to do) or spend less (very easy to do). Several posters have pointed out places for you to trim your spending. I'm not sure what other type of advice you are looking for.

A mortgage might be more debt, but since it replaces rent, it's less spending. That was all I was saying, not saying I will run out tomorrow and do it. The only reason it might help is because the potential seller is willing to cut back $10,000 to me at close. That will go right in the bank.

[Gruntina]

Re: nothing seems to work...

Line of work to earn take home pay is a separate work from running your home life and budget so you are taking care of yourself. One does help the other and vise versa. Only you can put yourself in your own control and be your own bank and boss.

It seems like you don't want to change what is going on at home and but are willing to put so much time and efforts into your job to take home more pay. Just be careful that over work and overstress does not whack you out of your health balance and home life making you have less time for your girlfriend, not eating healthy or not enough sleep can cause more flustered choices and desperation with handling debts.

Nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it and doing it the hard way and making sacrifices to put yourself in more control will prevent further needs of loans again to support your home life rather than depending on others for your commissions. Some people say that life is 99% attitude. I think it’s more of 99% choices.

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

Let me guess - you aren't the conservative type, lol. Look you are already living on commissions you don't make, and counting on a house you don't own - along with your getting $10,000 from the owner to take it off her hands. What an equity gold mine - you can suck that thing dry! Just like my $1 lottery tickets, except they only cost $1 and I haven't spent the winnings in advance.

I think you probably haven't learned any lessons from your first bankruptcy. I don't know if this situation will teach you anything or not. There is a reason you don't get ahead, - You!

Well there is no point in telling you anything - you can't do it and it won't work in your circumstance. And since I already I know I am being offensive, might I say to your girlfriend - what a winner you have! Sorry - I just had to say it, not another word from me.

I am conservative. Quite so. FYI I just turned off the cable and house phone, dickhead. I determined keeping high-speed internet alone is cheaper than dial-up plus a phone line in my area. Need the internet to sell stuff on Ebay. About $200 worth of stuff I found so far.

The $10k would leave me with $50k in equity, still. Again, that's more just a passing idea. I'm not "counting" on anything, jerkoff. It was JUST AN IDEA THAT HAS A SMALL CHANCE OF HAPPENING. I'm desperate.

I don't know what the reason is for the utilities, but everyone in my area had similar gas bills this winter. The water bill used to be $28 in this same house, so I need to find out what's going on there as well. The toilet does leak a tad. I'm going to look at that tonight.

Don't be such an a-hole.

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

I think you probably haven't learned any lessons from your first bankruptcy. I don't know if this situation will teach you anything or not. There is a reason you don't get ahead, - You!

Also, I learned plenty of lessons from the bankruptcy.

Before - I bought digital cameras, alcohol, clothes, $300 auto accessories, $400 in concert tickets for a bunch of friends, all on credit. $20k worth of crap.

Now - none of that. I think I've made it clear that I don't try to live that extravagantly.

[joesixpack]

Re: nothing seems to work...

Rent-$650
Car Payment - $538 (balance $23120) (before you suggest I sell and downgrade...I owe TEN THOUSAND more than this thing is worth...)
Gas Bill - $210 (on budget plan)
Electric - $80 (average)
Cable/Internet/Phone - $101
Cell Phone (need for work) - $130
Car Insurance - $108
Water - $65
Credit Card Payments -$80 (balance $1200)
Student Loan - $50 (balance $722)
Groceries - $150
Gasoline - $375 (must drive for job - sales)
Cash Advance Fees about $280 monthly but I haven't had a good enough commission month to break the cycle-once I pay them back, I'm short on bills and have to go back and get another one.

Revision. I'm still working on making this happen but here's what I came up with:


Rent-$650
Car Payment - $538
Gas Bill - $175 (once the overage is paid off)
Electric - $80 (average)
Cable/Internet/Phone - $39.00
Cell Phone (need for work) - $95 (if I don't exceed my minutes)
Car Insurance - $108
Water - $40? (working on leaky toilet)
Credit Card Payments -$80 (will go away next in line)
Student Loan - $50 (balance $722)
Groceries - $100
Gasoline - $350 (pay more attention to speed, cheap gas deals, tire inflation, etc)
Cash Advance Fees about $280 monthly - will at the very least, whittle these down a bit at a time.

That's still $2585. Some reduction, but really, what else can I do? Once the payday loans are gone that's another $300 almost. $2305. Which on my average income now gives me $1000 leftover. OK...perhaps this CAN work. But by God I wish I could just eliminate those damn things NOW...(the payday/cash advance loans)

[Kris10Leigh]

Re: nothing seems to work...

Give yourself some credit! You did some good whitteling!! Now, I have one more suggestion.

Are you at your credit limit? Rather than paying for those darned pay advances, why not put the money on your credit card, which should certainly have far less interest. The goal is of course to stop using credit all together, but when you must, you must.

Sorry if this has already been suggested. You've gotten a lot of repsonses to your plea for help.

[34saving]

Re: nothing seems to work...

You're probably not in a place to really get this, but there's a common truism in pregnancy lore "9 months up, 9 months down". (Basically women think 10 minutes after they have a baby they should be able to fit into their jeans and that's not the way it works.) The same thing goes for finances. This situation didn't happen overnight and it won't be solved overnight. You're doing something. That's good. Keep doing "somethings" and eventually you'll be okay. You just have to be careful not to give up and fall back into bad habits.