Is money a taboo subject for you?

[rob62521]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

It sounds like she doesn't want to change her spending habits. She knows you know what's best, but if it inconveniences her, she probably doesn't want to do whatever you suggest.

[boefixepa]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I've really had to crack down over tha last few years and try to NEVER talk about money with my family. I am now making an effort to work with my parents. I want to use my financial turn around as motivation and example for them to learn and plan. I don't want to have to take care of them in their retirement, I will probably just be starting my family, so I want to try and help them get set up and be able to live off SS and what little retirement they will have. Right now they just bought a new house and hopefully it's their last. I want to encourage them to get it completely paid off before they retire and work on having them retire with no debt. I know they still have a chunck of comsumer debt, but I don't know how much. I tell them generalities about my money, but until recently I haven't gone into specifics. I did on my last visit as a motivational tactic, hopefully it helped. They are coming down next week and I am hoping to have a few good conversations with them. One will be about this.

I generally don't talk to others about money except in generalities and fugal living ideas.

[akaivyleaf]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I tell it all. I'm an open book. For good or for bad, if I am friends enough with you to discuss any and everything, I discuss any and everything.

[miclason]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

...my parents never discussed money...we found out about their financial problems when the owner of their (rental) house mentioned they hadn't paid rent in 4 months!...that's when my sister and I DEMANDED full disclosure...we never suspected it...after all, they kept their living standard at the same level! (they took a mortgage on the farm without telling us! and were using the money for living expenses...until it ran out...)...sis and I learned to be very open about $$$ after that...she knows exactly where I stand, and, I know exactly how much she makes, how much she owes and how she copes!...this has helped us a lot!...sis is still clinging to her old living standards, and I know this is because she lived with Mom and Dad a lot longer, but, is slowly trying to do something REAL about her level of debt and, has started cutting expenses...she still buys a lot of "goodies" when she goes to the supermarket, though, and tends to feel that the cupboards are "empty" (this comes from my mom, who would say there was no food unless the pantry was overflowing!)...I'm honest with my closest friends, but vague with all others...they know I'm not in a good financial situation, though...but I see no reason for them to have the details!

[Bluezy]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I will open up to CJ about our finances when he gets older. Being 2 1/2, I'm sure he won't be too interested in them yet. Other family members know better than to ask about our finances.

[debtdude]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

We are open and honest with our parents and the same with our oldest child.

[Bookie]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

Well, I grew up in a household where money wasn't really discussed. We knew there was never enough of it, and that was all. The family operated on a cash basis. No checking. The scars of the Great Depression ran very deep. Only at the end did I discover how pitifully meagre the funds actually were and how remarkably well we managed.

For myself, I'm perfectly willing to discuss my money-handling system and the ways I manage my resources with acquaintances who are interested. But I'm talking about methods and not about actual amounts.

The exception has been my debt reduction saga. I've been very open with a couple of confidants about both the numbers and my progress. Both of them have been traversing the same path, and we've become an informal support group, providing encouragement and accountability. Sometimes it helps to know you're not the only one digging out from under.

.

[scrava]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I like to talk about methods and cost cutting, money saving ideas.

I don't have too many friends who are into that, though.
TG I have all of you!

[lrjohnson]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

As in, one roll since February? Wow. I go through a roll and a half a week.
--W@L

I am still on a roll of paper towels we bought for camping in 2004. It's easy to do using dishtowels.

I am open regarding finances. People know, if the subject naturally comes up, that I have no debt. (Though I would like mortgage debt in the near future.) My level of frugality, especially on My Challenge, has caused comment.

No one has asked what I have in savings or retirement; I suppose i woudl answer honestly but I'd be surprised to be asked.

I don't directly ask people about expenses. If they do mention being in debt, I try to be very careful to not pass judgement. I empathize, and if they ask for ways to cut costs I offer (including this site!) but otherwise I stay out of it.

I agree that too much secrecy can make it more difficult for people to get out of debt.

[Ima saver]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I wish more people would talk about money. I am glad to see we have some young people on here who have decided to take control of their finances early. I predict they will all wind up pretty well to do because they are not afraid to discuss their finances!!

[shengmei]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

Nah. Hubby and I talk about it everyday.

[Writer@Large]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I am still on a roll of paper towels we bought for camping in 2004. It's easy to do using dishtowels.

Yeah, but if you're wiping up much else other than water, towels get real icky real fast. Then you spend as much in water to wash them as you would on a good deal for paper towel. At least, IMO.

--W@L

[PrincessPerky]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I have often wondered that.. especially considdering how klutzy my family can be! (and not just the kids, I am prolly the worst!)

I have seen several arguments on the side of both paper and washing..for me it boils down to two things..environment plastic wrapping on the paper towels in addition to the trees used to make em...and not buying stuff, less I am in a store the less I spend.

[Ima saver]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

I discuss money with my dh a lot too, but I think he thinks I am too cheap! Most husbands wouldn't complain about that, I keep telling him!

[tgavin71]

Re: Is money a taboo subject for you?

Ever since I can remember I have known that my parents had very little money. The 6 years living in government housing was a big hint. Eventually they bought a house but had to borrow the deposit ($5000) from my grandmother. Later on I realised that it wasn't the actual amount of money that came into the household it was how much was spent on luxuries such as cigarettes and alcohol. They were constantly crying poor but the fact was that over half the money was spent on wants rather than needs. I can not remember going hungry or with out. Maybe they thought that as longs as the basics are met then they can do whatever they want with the rest. My mum is 52 and my dad is 55. They are still paying off the house and the only retirement savings they have are government legislated pay withholdings.

Then we have the other end of the spectrum
My BIL rings us from time to time to "chat" about finances. Most of it is to let us know about how much money they are earning or about a new item they have purchased. He rubbed it in especially as for a long time he was earning double what my DH was and BIL is 8 years younger. These phone calls would hurt my DH's feelings and make him feel like a failure. But when I pointed out that his failure had resulted in us buying our own house, paying cash for a car and having a substantial share portfolio his spirited lifted. BIL has none of this. Their car payments are more than our house payments. (We wouldn't drive the sort of car you do)I know this because they told me. They live in a rented house. Even though they have the capacity to pay a mortgage their lifestyle is more important than having a house for the time being at least (Were too young to worry about that stuff).
The most fun I have when we get one of the "i just got a raise" or " we just bought the biggest and best home theatre system in the shop" phone calls is when I say "hey did you see the share price for blah blah stock?" "So, whats that got to do with anything?" "Well seeing as we are gloating just thought you'd like to know that our share portfolio worth went up by $x of dollars" There is usually silence on the end of the phone by this stage and an quick excuse to get of the phone.
I would love to be a fly on the wall in their house wondering how we do it. And I would gladly help them to acheive what we have but like most people they would rather talk about money when things are going great rather than when they are in trouble.