Financial advice for a 25 year old woman

[SweetButterfly90]

How interesting. How exactly do you go about determining if a guy is rich before deciding whether or not you find him attractive? Do you go up to him and ask for his financial statements? Or do you judge wealth based on outward appearances like clothing, jewelry, the car he drives, or where he lives?

What you are actually saying is you aren't attracted to him but to his money. What an incredibly sad statement. Good luck with that.

Most guys who are wealthy/rich/financially savvy are really confident/alpha males even if they are introverts. No, I never ask to see proof but the things people say reveal their financial circumstances. And I just find men who are wealthy attractive. Mainly because they have skills and other qualities that I don't necessarily have. It's not about appearance and I know nothing about cars. I don't care about where he lives either. It's just that financial security is a big deal for me, so if I can date someone who provides me with that financial security, then that's amazing.

Please don't derail this thread and kind of make me out to be a gold-digger, because that's not who I am or what I am about. I just think that if the guy I am dating can make my life better rather than more stressful then that's perfect.

[rennigade]

What you are actually saying is you aren't attracted to him but to his money. What an incredibly sad statement. Good luck with that.

My guess is that OP is a troll, not a bad one either I will add. I do understand that people can be this vain...but to have them sign up and start posting to a money savings forums is dodgy imo.

[disneysteve]

financial security is a big deal for me

if the guy I am dating can make my life better rather than more stressful then that's perfect.

I think both of these statements make perfect sense and are quite reasonable. But this isn't what you said first which is why I was giving you a hard time.

It's kind of tough to not see someone as a gold digger when they say, "I only find rich guys attractive."

[doingitallwrong]

it's pretty common for women to marry richer men - it's basic survival.

And Gloria Steinem weeps....

My guess is that OP is a troll,

I have the same feeling. Plus if it's the same person with photos on fotka, I'd say 9/10 is stretching it a bit. A strong 7, certainly.

[bjl584]

Most guys who are wealthy/rich/financially savvy are really confident/alpha males even if they are introverts. No, I never ask to see proof but the things people say reveal their financial circumstances. And I just find men who are wealthy attractive. Mainly because they have skills and other qualities that I don't necessarily have. It's not about appearance and I know nothing about cars. I don't care about where he lives either. It's just that financial security is a big deal for me, so if I can date someone who provides me with that financial security, then that's amazing.

Please don't derail this thread and kind of make me out to be a gold-digger, because that's not who I am or what I am about. I just think that if the guy I am dating can make my life better rather than more stressful then that's perfect.

And, how many guys have you dated that were wealthy? And, why are you single now? Did they all figure out in short order that their bank account meant more to you than they did?

[SweetButterfly90]

My guess is that OP is a troll, not a bad one either I will add. I do understand that people can be this vain...but to have them sign up and start posting to a money savings forums is dodgy imo.

Guys, I am not a troll. If it helps I can delete all of the posts that mention I wanted to date a rich guy. I'm sorry, this is not what I signed up for. Thanks for replying everyone, two days until I am paid, I will try my hardest to stick to a budget.

[SweetButterfly90]

I think both of these statements make perfect sense and are quite reasonable. But this isn't what you said first which is why I was giving you a hard time.

It's kind of tough to not see someone as a gold digger when they say, "I only find rich guys attractive."

Sorry, that's not what I meant. If people on the forum would stop attacking me please, as it's not really fair. To be honest I have only had three long term relationships, and I wouldn't have another unless the guy was marriage material. I don't want to have to worry about money for the rest of my life, as I'm sure you'll understand it's very stressful, especially on a young woman. But I know it's my fault, as I spent the money on the credit cards. I just meant that a wealthy guy would teach me the most, and would be able to change my life circumstances, in a way that I couldn't do alone. I mean, if I knew how to be a millionaire, I would be one right now, but I don't. I should maybe have worked harder at school, but not everyone is born intelligent. I just googled financial advice and budgeting and it took me to this site, and I finally found the confidence to be honest and make a post.

[disneysteve]

if I knew how to be a millionaire, I would be one right now, but I don't.

I think you're being too hard on yourself. You're 25. The chances of being a millionaire at that age are infinitesimally small. But you could certainly be doing things at that age to put you on a solid path to financial security as you move ahead in life.

Here's a simple example. We've already determined that you have about £700/month free from your current income. Invest that at a 6% return and you would be a millionaire by the time you're 60.

You're young. You've made some very common financial mistakes. But you have a good income relative to your actual expenses and have lots of time to turn this around. As I've said, you can be debt free in 6 months if you want to be. That's not a long time at all. It's all up to you.

[SweetButterfly90]

I dont know? It was basically a way to call her out...and like clockwork no pictures were to be found. This was a fun thread while it lasted but its starting to reek at this point. Im out.

I wish all the best to OP. Its no fun having debt that you are unsure how to pay off. This isnt the 1940's...take control of your life and become a strong independent woman. Dont rely on any man to take care of you. The doors open...you just need to go through it.

I don't need to post photos to prove that I'm pretty. I actually regret saying anything about it now. Plus think how embarrassing it would be for me if everyone found out I am in debt? Easier said than done, men have it a lot easier than women when it comes to financial education. I am literally told that I need a new bag, or pair of shoes or lipstick in order to look good, and it's difficult to just shake that off after years of going shopping everyday during my lunch break and after work. I don't think this was a fun thread as it took a lot for me to make this thread.

[SweetButterfly90]

I think you're being too hard on yourself. You're 25. The chances of being a millionaire at that age are infinitesimally small. But you could certainly be doing things at that age to put you on a solid path to financial security as you move ahead in life.

Here's a simple example. We've already determined that you have about £700/month free from your current income. Invest that at a 6% return and you would be a millionaire by the time you're 60.

You're young. You've made some very common financial mistakes. But you have a good income relative to your actual expenses and have lots of time to turn this around. As I've said, you can be debt free in 6 months if you want to be. That's not a long time at all. It's all up to you.

What do you mean by 6% return?

[disneysteve]

I am literally told that I need a new bag, or pair of shoes or lipstick in order to look good,

You need to rid your life of the people who are telling you crap like that. There's a reason why the majority of folks are in debt. I don't know what the stats are in England but I know what they are here in the US and they're pretty alarming. Most people live beyond their means. Most people have consumer debt. Most people live paycheck to paycheck with little to nothing in savings. Don't be "most people".

Sorry if some posts on this thread were over the top but this is actually a great site for learning about personal finance and getting support along your journey.

[doingitallwrong]

I just meant that a wealthy guy would teach me the most, and would be able to change my life circumstances, in a way that I couldn't do alone.

Not necessarily. A lot of wealthy guys are just as unaware of how to manage money as you are, especially if they're born to it or come to it suddenly. The wealthy guys who got there through their own hard work and planning aren't going to be too keen on supporting you if you keep up with your frivolous spending habits.

Also, don't limit yourself to men in that regard -- spending time with financially savvy friends of any gender will do a lot more to educate you about money than trying to fall in love with a rich guy who is marriage material and doesn't care about your spending.

This isnt the 1940's...take control of your life and become a strong independent woman. Dont rely on any man to take care of you. The doors open...you just need to go through it.

Amen to that. I really am quite astounded that any woman in the 21st century would look for a man to 'save' her. I really thought that antiquated notion was eradicated in the '60s and '70s. Plus, what happens if your rich guy leaves you? Or dies? Or loses all his money? You'll be no better off than you were before, and worse because you'll be older, which means you're less likely to be a candidate as a trophy wife. Get control of your finances now, and if you're dedicated you might be in a position to get yourself a trophy husband, instead!

[disneysteve]

What do you mean by 6% return?

I mean if you were to invest that money rather than spending it frivolously. A diversified portfolio of low cost, no load mutual funds can be expected to have a long term return of at least that much. Last year, the S&P 500 was up over 13%. Some of my funds were up 20-30%. Every dollar (or pound) that you spend needlessly today is hundreds of dollars you won't have in the future.

[SweetButterfly90]

You need to rid your life of the people who are telling you crap like that. There's a reason why the majority of folks are in debt. I don't know what the stats are in England but I know what they are here in the US and they're pretty alarming. Most people live beyond their means. Most people have consumer debt. Most people live paycheck to paycheck with little to nothing in savings. Don't be "most people".

Sorry if some posts on this thread were over the top but this is actually a great site for learning about personal finance and getting support along your journey.

I am trying to get rid of them. I have been living like this since I was 18, paycheck to paycheck, online shopping, weekly hair and nail appointments, buying designer bags and make-up instead of paying rent... I just want to get out of debt.

[SweetButterfly90]

Not necessarily. A lot of wealthy guys are just as unaware of how to manage money as you are, especially if they're born to it or come to it suddenly. The wealthy guys who got there through their own hard work and planning aren't going to be too keen on supporting you if you keep up with your frivolous spending habits.

Also, don't limit yourself to men in that regard -- spending time with financially savvy friends of any gender will do a lot more to educate you about money than trying to fall in love with a rich guy who is marriage material and doesn't care about your spending.



Amen to that. I really am quite astounded that any woman in the 21st century would look for a man to 'save' her. I really thought that antiquated notion was eradicated in the '60s and '70s. Plus, what happens if your rich guy leaves you? Or dies? Or loses all his money? You'll be no better off than you were before, and worse because you'll be older, which means you're less likely to be a candidate as a trophy wife. Get control of your finances now, and if you're dedicated you might be in a position to get yourself a trophy husband, instead!

I was born in the 90s, so not really sure of what attitudes were held then. Also, I'm not a feminist if that helps. I have always expected that my future husband would support me financially... I don't know any rich women who have not been supported by men.