Please knock some sense into me

[disneysteve]

Okay, I admit to choking up every time I read of some young 20 something year old making excellent money (above and beyond the average most American families live on) and they are living at home to 'save' money.

This has seemingly become the "norm" in our society. Adult children not spreading their wings and leaving the nest. I totally don't understand it. I love my parents but I was thrilled to move out and have my own place. Was it cheap? No. Was it glamorous? No. Was it as nice as what I had at home? No. But I was a college graduate and it was time for me to start making my own way in the world. Honestly, my parents still helped me financially while I was in med school but not nearly to the extent as if I was living with them.

My daughter will be starting college this year. We've discussed with her a lot that the plan is college and then independent living as an adult, not boomeranging back into our house.

[Gailete]

I too was anxious to be on my own. When I moved out I had $60 in my pocket and a part time job at Arbys and some people I knew agreed to let me live and pay room and board at their house.

When my autistic son got his first apartment on his own (and out of his own funds) It was a huge growth spurt of fitting into society. Not saying that would work for all. But kids need this.

Kids that live at home, can end up getting married and never understanding of how households are run. We had been married 7 years when my ex who had lived at home till we got married, asked how to adjust the thermostat because he was cold. That is a lesson most people on their own learn the very first day they are in their own place and a cold snap hits. You either figure it out or be cold all winter!

[Permanent Temp]

My brother has a luxury car but he fixes it himself. The parts still hurt but he got it used paid it off in cash (It was less than 10K.) He has about 25K in student loans. And this is his only debt since he doesn't have credit cards etc.

I don't think it ever makes sense to buy a new car. In your case even less so. You have such a clean slate why would you want to muck it up. I say buy a reasonably priced car or drop a new tranny and engine on the one you have (If that is a less than 10k job.) Then you can keep this one for another 200k miles and continue on with no debt and a nice chunk of change. Keep living your life frugally and it will pay off. Start the rabbit hole into debt and that is a slippery slope, maybe its because you have been fortunate enough to have things given to you you don't have an idea of what's it like to go down that road but I suggest that you stay away from it. Or finance something paying it off little by little (like a reasonably priced car).

Life is going to change a lot when you move out of mommy and daddy's house there's no need to shoot yourself in the foot before you even get out there. The fact that you came here to ask this questions means that somewhere deep down you know better.

I also know how crappy it is to do everything right and feel like you never get to enjoy a penny of it so I saw splurge on something else like an expensive piece of clothing, a trip, a camera etc (less than 2K) that way you can see how that feels without tying yourself to a monthly payment that will set you up to potential financial failure.

I find a lot of times that once I'm at the verge of buying something I think I want I leave it in the cart (in store or online) and then forget about it. A lot of the time we want things for the wrong reasons. Leave this new Mercedes thought "in the cart" for a while. If you forget about it then chances are its not something you really needed.

Another approach would think of all the other things that you'd rather do with 20K. Look at that list compared to the list of the one item of Mercedes. In the end I'm sure you'll find its not worth it, start up costs of getting out of the parents house alone would more than likely show you it is not a good idea since in all likelihood 20K could be a great 1 year emergency fund. Which I would find to be much more important unless of course your back up plan is to live in the vehicle if fund run short!

[Permanent Temp]

Also I forgot to mention you really need to figure out what you are actually spending. You had used a lot of "I think," "I probably" when talking numbers.

I thought I was spending x-amount here, x-amount there and the actual values were shocking. I used Mint to figure it out but do something to get those numbers nailed down. A lot of times our fun spending is actually the kicker as to why we can't reach some goal we've been trying to reach.

[TheKayla]

You are being stupid and should not even consider this car purchase in any way shape or form.

1. You currently live at home to save money. To what purpose? To blow it all on a car?
2. You're looking to move out mid-summer. Your expenses will go up substantially. If you spend most of your savings on this car, you won't have enough of an emergency fund. 3 months is bare bone, especially if you need to put security deposits/last month rents/etc on an apartment.
3. How are you factoring in the cost of the Masters degree? It seems like you're ignoring it. If you are truly saving for that, you should be placing x amount of money away per month to save for it.

You would be smarter to buy a more inexpensive, low mileage, and reliable car that will work for you while you're in school. There's plenty of time for a nicer car in your future.

A 22 year old that has 20k saved up is stupid? How well were you doing at 22? Sheesh. This one's pretty smart, and has definitely had her head on straight so far. She's a saver and clearly has the bigger picture in midn. Plus, she's finally ready to make a big purchase decision and is coming here for advice first, not blowing it without thought. No need to be so harsh, just be mature and give polite advice -- be nice to people for god's sake.

[scfr]

I suspect that HappySaver's comment was a bit tongue in cheek and not meant to be harsh, because the final 2 sentences of OP's original post said, and I quote: "Please just tell me I'm being stupid and should not even consider this car purchase in any way shape or form! If you were in my situation, what would you do?"

[HappySaver]

Yes, if you read the OP's comments, I was just telling her what she asked to be told. Meant ever so nicely. I couldn't resist.

At 22 I had no savings. I was in grad school living off student loans. Driving a Tercel, btw.

[jenn_jenn]

Okay, I admit to choking up every time I read of some young 20 something year old making excellent money (above and beyond the average most American families live on) and they are living at home to 'save' money. Nowhere do I ever see them contributing to the cost of the household so they are living off of their parents incomes and savings.
Then you want to spend what you have saved on a car?!? All you need is reliable transportation. I don't know much about Mercedes other than it would be 5 times more than what we spent for our used care when our other one died completely. If you want one as a status symbol, don't forget that once you park it, no one knows that it is yours or how you got to work that day. You could have taken the bus for all they know.

You need to put your thinking cap on and figure out what you really want in life and set up a long term budget to accommodate that. First of all counting your blessings that you have the choice to make decisions. Many people are trying to get by on far less money for themselves and their household. After all actual needs are accounted for, think about how you can also help others. I'm not saying you are doing this, but I have noticed so many people have become so selfish with what they get that they never contribute to those that are destitute and could use a helping hand. They somehow never see those that are worse off than them. Once you start thinking about how to help others, some of your lifestyle plans might fall into place.

I don't understand the need to be so judgemental over the situation. Although I don't pay rent, I did offer and even tried to force my parents to take rent...they wouldn't hear of it. And also...please don't think I'm some entitled brat because I'm not. I'm not sure why you felt the need to preach about being grateful and unselfish.

But you're right about the needing to think of my long term budget. An extravagant purchase like this could keep me from fulfilling my dreams that are more important. And I really just needed a reminder from someone, so thank you to everyone for their responses. I had so many people telling me..."YES GO FOR IT. Do it while your young!" and friends buying nice cars with less in savings and smaller incomes...but I knew this wasn't the right decision for me, even though it was starting to seem like a possibility. I just needed to hear I was being stupid to even consider the purchase.

I won't be buying the Mercedes. I'm not sure what car I will get but I will stick to something more practical. Thanks guys for the reality check

PS. I know how to adjust the thermostat