Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

**Thrifty Ray** · 04-11-2006, 10:07 PM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

Do you currently have a family budget that you, your mom and the kids work with? If not, you need to start by listing all income and expenses. Looking at bank statements for the past 6 months will help. Tracking spending for a month or two will be a huge help as well... (especially those cash expenses that cause money to trickle out unnoticed)

You will need to bring your credit score up by staying current/paying down debt.
What kind of timeline are you on for the refinance??? Is this something you can tackle after your credit has been repaired somewhat?

Regarding the other expenses:
Take a step back and challenge every expense that you have. What can be reduced or eliminated. Evaluating needs vs. wants will help.

Expenses such as groceries, eating out, membership dues, entertainment, cable and miscellaneous should be carefully reviewed...often you can shave lots off of these expenses quickly.

Then look at utilities....and ways to reduce those expenses.

Coming up with a spending plan is essential...to give you and your family a road map for greater success.

This response is kindof all over the place, but there is alot for you to consider and do...

As I see it, your biggest hurdle is the refinance at this point...hopefully you have some wiggle room on how quickly you need to do it...It will help your situation if you have time to do some credit repair first.

Good luck to you!

**RJB1180** · 04-12-2006, 03:37 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

I don't know where you live but $300/month for three kids seems really, really low. Did you sign the divorce decree or is just an "arrangement", you can call your local family court or state DYFS to find out what the going rate is. One big thing if your children are going to college, put payment (50/50, 33/33/33 split, whatever) in the divorce decree, my mom did and it was the smartest thing she ever did. That should take some of the future pressure off.

If the divorce is final, and it was nice, i.e. your husband pays you and not the state child support, try reaching a deal in regards to the refi, he uses his child support as payment on the loan, which is at a good rate, etc.

**Ima saver** · 04-12-2006, 06:34 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

I don't know where you live, but payments of $3000 a month is way to much for your 54K income, that is $36,000 a year in house payments.
I would sell the house and find something cheaper to buy.

**Fern** · 04-13-2006, 06:44 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

I agree with imasaver and rjb1180, both on the amt. of your child support and the expense ratio of your income vs. mortgage payments. I would also play it safe and find someplace cheaper.

**SuzeOFan** · 04-13-2006, 02:50 PM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

Along the lines of what Thrifty Ray was saying,

ING Direct has awesome financial worksheets for printing out that can help make it easy to figure out a workable budget for yourself:

http://home.ingdirect.com/privacy/privacy.asp

**Snoopy2645** · 04-13-2006, 06:36 PM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

I agree that I would move & I would have that cs looked into also you do have two other options does your mom help you with money I mean pay rent or something to that extent. And does the 17 help? I dont know just a few other ideas just in case moving isnt an option. BUt I know in my situation we have 3 kids also & our income is around the same as yours & house payment is $500 a month & to be honest we have a hard time making it sometimes so no way could I swing $3k a month to live here.

**SuzeOFan** · 04-14-2006, 04:24 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

Since you asked so I will offer a little more advice....

You'll probably have to sell the house.

BUT what about the kids?

They are already traumatized by the fact that Mom & Dad don't live together anymore. So how about their friends and school? I would wait to sell until school is out and then you might think about moving into a rental apartment or condo that is still in the area. This will lessen the impact on the kids and their friends and sports and give you a chance to breath without a heavy mortgage looming over your head.

I still suggest you get those financial worksheets from ING DIRECT and try to fill them out as best you can. It will help you enormously to get your head around your financial situation.

I would also sit down at the table with the family and be honest with them about the situation. Be straight talking. Kids are smarter than you think. Askfor their opinions. You also need to let them know they need to help tow the line and be more responsible for picking up after themselves and cleaning and chores. Maybe even make the meals some nights. You need free time to really think about your options and plan of action.

My mom and dad divorced when I was 12. It was lousy and I was very angry. And it was a messy divorce. My brother and sister and I even ran away from my mother and caught a greyhound bus back to Connecticut to be with my dad at 9, 10 and 12 years old. Only to move back in with mom 3 years later.

Finances are important and you have to find a way to survive. But the kids are even more important. Treat them with respect and acknowledge their anger without taking it to heart. Don't try to belittle thier feelings. After all, they have a right to be angry. And it will only come back to bite you if you talk against their father. No matter how badly you feel about him, he's their father for better or worse. Raging against him is like raging against your own kids because they are part of him as well.

It might help them to have someone to talk to who is an objective person like a counselor or coach or understanding relative.

The main thing to remember is you will be able to buy another house someday. You will get your life back together. Your children will still love you. Treat them with respect. Honor their feelings. And try to keep things as normalized as possible for them while getting your financial situation in order. You can do it.

**SuzeOFan** · 04-14-2006, 04:41 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

Pray ...pray hard. Have faith. And trust God for the rest.

**NoWayNovember** · 04-14-2006, 05:10 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

I'll just echo in with everyone else.... it will probably be best to sell and find something more affordable. It'll be much easier to manage your financial affairs if you are in a place that you can comfortably afford.

Don't get discouraged. SuzeOFan gave you some really good advice.

**34saving** · 04-14-2006, 05:25 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

Another good thing about renting . . . I'm not sure where you live, but in lots of places rental costs are 70-80% of owning. That means if you look you can probably rent a HOUSE in the same area for significantly less. There's an added bonus that your landlord is responsible for taxes, insurance, and stuff that breaks. Also, in many places there are lots of people who bought extra "investment" properties that can't sell them since the markets are slowing. Many of these people are renting them out cheaper than you might expect. Check your local Craigslist.org to get an idea of what's out there. Remember you'd also be able to pull the 150k from your house. What a great thing to help your family get back on its feet! (Just be sure to save save save so you can buy a house when your credit is better.)

**contrary1** · 04-15-2006, 09:51 AM

Re: Help Me Find Cost saving Measures

I have been in almost the same situation, although didn't have 3 kids, only one of my own. I did end up being able to keep my home, through tons of hard work, lots of creativity and constant prayer.

I would put the kids to work first off. I think hard work and its' benefits are one of the best things we can teach our kids.

I'd also put my mom to work!! If nothing else, she would be the one making all the meals at home, cutting costs to the bare minimum.

If your house is large enough, rent some of it out?? Rent out part of the property as parking/RV storage??

If you're good with kids, get a foster care license & add to your family. If you're good with stretching a dollar, you can do this without costing your household more. I know this is a touchy subject, but it can help with finances. States are more concerned these days about finding (and paying) for good parents and great homes.

The other thing I did was to be brutally honest with everyone I came into contact with. Letting everyone from family to the mailman know what sort of situation I was in. I had a one sentence summary of how life was at our house & then I would have a list in my head (actually had some printed off too) if people asked what they could do to help. I would also tell any creditor the honest situation, promise to pay them and ask if there was anything they could do to help me out. Many knocked off ALL interest on accounts.........some couldn't do anything. But, it sure was worth it to ASK!!

And, remember, this too shall pass. Life does get better............I promise.

Help Me Find Cost saving Measures